


Dean's Grace

by LacklusterPuddles



Series: Dean's Grace Universe [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awesome Bobby, Big Brother Gabriel, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eventual Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Gabriel Being Gabriel, Gen, Good Brother Sam Winchester, Helpful Castiel, Helpful Gabriel, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Mpreg, Not Canon Compliant, Pregnant Dean, Protective Castiel, Sorry Not Sorry, They Are Alive If I Want Them To Be, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-02-17 05:49:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 75,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2298719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LacklusterPuddles/pseuds/LacklusterPuddles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Dean felt a mixture of livid, horrified, and amused, he stayed silent, trying to piece together his thoughts. <em>Pregnant? PREGNANT?!"</em></p><p>Something is wrong with Dean, something that will change his life and the lives of everyone around him forever.</p><p>Note: This has now become a series! This work is the central story and every other work will just be assorted one-shots within this universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know how this happened. One second I was watching a cracky youtube video and the next I was writing the saga of pregnant Dean. I'm sorry. 
> 
> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy. 
> 
> I will try to update as frequently as possible, at the very latest it will be once a week.

The first time it happened was in the middle of a hunt, Sam and Dean were clearing out a vamp nest in a small town in Ohio, they had just cornered the last to escape, Sam took it's head off in one clean sweep of his machete, and Dean bent over and threw up on Sam's shoes. The nausea had come on so suddenly and violently, there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“What the hell, Dean!?”

Dean straightened, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “Must've been that burger.” He felt better after vomiting, so life continued on as usual.

The second time it happened was two days later. Dean woke up in the morning to the smell of Sam eating some sort of breakfast wrap, rocketed out of bed, and careened for the bathroom. After throwing up four times, he finally collected himself enough to speak. “What're you eating, man!?” Sam was watching him with a curious expression, “Turkey-bacon wrap.” He answered, holding up what was left of his meal. Instead of replying, Dean threw up two more times.

* * *

Sam rapped softly on the bathroom door, “Dean, are you okay?”

This was the third time just today that Dean had found himself clinging to a toilet bowl, chucking up everything he had eaten in the last few hours. When he opened the door, Sam was still standing there, brow furrowed. “I'm fine, Sammy.” Dean said, moving to lay down on the bed.

“No, you're not! You've been puking your guts out for two weeks, Dean!”

Sam was right, of course, he had never thrown up this much in his life, he was exhausted and felt like crap. “It's probably just the flu or something, I'll be fine in a few days.” Or at least he hoped.

Unfortunately, the few day mark came and went with no change. When three weeks had passed, Sam was officially beginning to panic. They continued hunting, but he could tell that Dean was struggling and he knew that a hunter off his game, was a dead hunter. He spent every spare second researching Dean's symptoms online, even discussing it with Bobby.

“You need to see a doctor.” Sam would say resolutely. Dean would just grunt from his position curled up on the bed. “Seriously Dean, something is wrong!” Another grunt. This had become a daily conversation.

* * *

A month and a half after the throwing up had started, they were on their way to see Bobby, staying the night in a motel in Nebraska, when Castiel showed up. They hadn't heard from him since their last run in with the 'angel death squad' (as Dean liked to refer to them), who had captured and tortured Cas and tried to literally carve out his grace

“Hey Cas.” Sam said, trying to ignore the sounds of Dean puking up his dinner. “Is Dean unwell?” Castiel asked. Sam just stared at the bathroom door, hoping his face would convey the scope of his concern. “Yeah, I don't know, he's been...”

“I'm fine, Sam.” Dean interrupted, leaning against the door frame, wiping his mouth with a towel. “So what're you doing here?” He asked, gesturing at Castiel, who was staring at him intently.

Cas' mouth fell open, a look of shock passing over his features.

“What?”

“Do you know what's wrong?” Sam asked, hopefully.

Cas schooled his face quickly back to a more relaxed expression, though the tinge of shock was still there. “Well... yes.”

* * *

“I'M WHAT?!”

“You're pregnant.” Cas said again.

“I'm not... Cas, I'm a guy, I can't be... I... I don't have any lady parts!”

“You don't actually need them, the child appears to be forming from grace.”

“What? Grace? How would I get?” Dean stilled suddenly, as understanding dawned, he threw the towel down and stomped towards Castiel. “What. The. Hell. did you do to me?!”

“I didn't think it was even possible, impregnation by grace is practically unheard of, most angels view it as more of a myth, but I suppose that when you held my wound closed after those angels tortured me, part of my grace passed into your body.” Cas looked around thoughtfully, “It shouldn't hurt you, but I am not completely sure. If the stories are true, the grace should enable your body to make all of the necessary changes to carry a child.”

Sam cleared his throat, “So would a guy who is uhh... pregnant with grace... have the same symptoms as a woman who is pregnant?”

Cas nodded, “From the stories I have heard, that would seem logical.”

Dean felt a mixture of livid, horrified, and amused, he stayed silent, trying to piece together his thoughts. _Pregnant? PREGNANT?! With a kid, a freakin half angel kid?. No way, that was just, no way, not possible._ Dean was snapped back into reality by Sam slamming a hand down on the table, “This whole time, it was morning sickness! Wait... the grace is from you, right? So how does that work?”

“I don't really know.”

“So how do we get rid of it?” Cas looked surprised when Dean asked the question, “Look, I appreciate the whole miracle angel grace baby thing, but there's no way this is happening, besides isn't a half angel, half human supposed to be some sort of sick abomination?”

Cas' face darkened, “Normally, yes, but impregnation by grace is not the same as impregnation by... traditional means.”

Sam barked out a laugh, then quickly clapped his hand over his mouth.

“Something funny here, Sam?”

“No, no, I was just thinking... this means... technically... Cas... knocked you up.” Sam said, barely suppressing his laughter.

_Oh god, not just half angel, but half Cas!_ That was the last thing Dean needed to be thinking about, he shot Sam a death glare, as he dropped back on the bed. “So how do we get rid of it?”

“I'm not sure, it might be possible, but you must understand Dean, a child formed from grace is different, according to the stories the grace will not only provide the proper surroundings for the child during the gestational period, it will also protect it.”

“Well, ain't that just fuckin peachy!”

“We'll look into it, Dean, I'm sure we can find a way.” Sam paused a moment, “But, in the meantime, is there anything special we need to know or do while Dean is in this... umm... _condition_?”

Dean groaned loudly, dropping his head into his hands. This was so fucked up.

* * *

They had delayed the trek to Bobby's and were staying at a motel a few miles out from a hunt. Everything on the grace baby front was looking like a dead end, they had tried a few spells here and there, all of them either ending in copious amounts of vomit or a brief flash of grace in Dean's eyes before the spell was rendered useless. It had been over three months now since the morning sickness had started. Castiel was pursuing his own contacts, trying to learn all he could, in the midst of dealing with the angel war. Sam was doing endless research, though there really wasn't much out there on what to do if your brother holds an angel's wound closed and accidentally ends up pregnant with a grace baby.

“SON OF A BITCH!”

Sam looked up when Dean stormed out of the bathroom, just wearing a t-shirt and boxers, clutching a pair of jeans. He was cursing under his breath as he dug another pair of jeans out of his bag, slipped them on and turned away from Sam, struggling to get them buttoned. Falling backwards onto the bed, Dean tried in vain to make the buttons meet.

“Problem?” Sam asked, trying to sound casual.

Dean wrestled a few more seconds, then stood, glaring and pointing at Sam, “Not a single fuckin word, hear me?” Sam raised his hands in surrender, before Dean stomped back into the bathroom holding his jeans up around his waist.

Pulling up his shirt, Dean stared at his torso in the mirror. _This is not happening, there is no way, I most definitely am not..._ ”Oh my god, Dean, you're showing!” He was going to kill his little brother, slowly and painfully. Tugging his shirt down, he turned and slammed the bathroom door. This was so messed up, so incredibly messed up, but there was no denying the rounded curve of his stomach, that definitely had not been there three months ago. They were going to find something eventually, they had to find something that would work. After splashing water on his face, Dean studied himself in the mirror.

“You look terrible.”

Dean jumped, “Damn it, Cas!”

Castiel tilted his head, “My apologies.”

Dean turned and faced the dark haired angel, _my baby-daddy_ , his brain added, unhelpfully. “Yeah, whatever, did you find something?”

* * *

 All three men sat around the small motel table, listening to Castiel explain his findings.

“Apparently, the connection is not just physical, the grace actually intertwines itself with the soul of the human, before beginning to develop a fetus. I could not find a way to sever that connection, which only grows in strength as the child develops. It is also... um...” Cas paused, a hint of something unreadable reaching his expression. “What?” Sam asked.

“Well, from what others knew, impregnation by grace is so rare, because the bond between human and angel must be incredibly profound, so profound, in fact, that it is almost unfathomable, because the grace actually _seeks_ to bond with the human's soul.” Dean didn't say anything, instead he just scraped his thumbnail over the table top, careful not to meet Sam's wide, questioning eyes.

“So, your saying that... wait? What does that mean? Are you saying you _wanted_ to get Dean pregnant?” Sam's tone was incredulous.

“No, of course not, I told you I didn't even know that it was actually possible.” Cas scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck, his expression again flickering to that unreadable thing.

“Awesome. So we're no closer to finding a way to get rid of this.” Dean said, gesturing to his stomach, as he pushed away from the table. “What do we do now?”

For a moment, Castiel looked like he was going to say something else, but then decided against it, folding his hands in his lap. Dean crossed to the bed, dropping face first onto the pillows. “This is fucking ridiculous.”

“We'll figure something out, Dean, but for now, what did you learn about the pregnancy itself, Cas? About what we should do?” Sam said, still glancing between Dean and Cas with a curious expression, as Cas stared at Dean's prone form, looking decidedly guilty. “I wasn't sure, no one seemed very sure of anything, except one angel who seemed to know and... um... volunteered to help.” Dean lifted his head at that, “What do you mean volunteered? You told someone about this?! Who the hell did you tell?!”

“Well, you can just call me, Dr. Sexy.”

Sam and Dean both startled as Gabriel appeared in the middle of the room.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me! You told HIM!?”

“Yep, he told me all about getting his little Deano in trouble, didn't really believe him at first, but there you are, and may I say, Dean, you are positively glowing.”

“Bite me.”

“Now Dean, you really need to learn to relax, remember your blood pressure, you have a baby to think about after all.” Dean turned and buried his head in his pillow, Gabriel just smirked and snapped his fingers. Suddenly Dean was wearing a hospital gown, laying on his back, on a table in a nondescript medical exam room. He looked around wide eyed, but couldn't sit up. Sam and Cas were nowhere to be seen. “Shall we get started?” Gabriel said, wearing a white lab coat and snapping on gloves.

“What are you doing? Why can't I move?!”

“Relax, I just need you to hold still, I'll be done in a jiff.”

Dean kept his eyes fixed on Gabriel, “What're you gonna do? Can you get rid of it?”

“Maybe, but for now, this is more of a routine examination. So shut up and let Dr. Sexy work his magic.” Gabriel stood over Dean and placed a hand on his stomach. A warm sensation flooded Dean's body, it wasn't particularly painful, but it was intense, almost too intense. Dean closed his eyes and tried to concentrate, but the sensation kept getting warmer, until suddenly his world exploded with white light. When the drab motel wallpaper faded into view, Dean gasped and shot up. Gabriel was standing at the the end of the bed, staring at the floor. Sam and Cas were seated at the motel table just like they had been.

“What happened? What was that, what happened?” Cas sounded concerned, as he hurried over to Dean.

“I... I don't know.” Dean stammered, looking to Gabriel, who seemed immersed in his own thought.

“Gabriel, I felt that. What happened?” Cas asked again.

“That was... unexpected.” Gabriel finally said, sounding bewildered.

“What happened?!” Castiel demanded. Gabriel's mouth twitched into an unamused smile. “Dean's fine, everything's fine, you'll need this.” He tossed a book down on the bed, “I need to look into something.” And with that, he vanished. Sam walked over and snatched up the book, he read the cover with a smirk, before handing it to Dean.

_' **WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN** (you're a dude and) **YOU'RE EXPECTING** (my brothers baby)'_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Wearing his sweatpants, Dean paced around the motel room. Sam was out doing research on a haunted house in the area, both of them fairly certain that a vengeful spirit was responsible for the current residents issues. Dean sighed and tugged at the end of his shirt, smoothing it out over his now more prominent belly bump, staring at himself in the mirror across the room. If they didn't find a way out of this soon, it wasn't going to be long before baggy shirts weren't going to hide things anymore.

“How are you feeling?”

Dean nearly fell over when Castiel appeared beside him. “DAMMIT CAS! How many times do I have to tell you, don't do that!”

“My apologies, again. Sam wanted me to check on you, how are you feeling?”

Dean grimaced, “Nice to know Sam doesn't even think I can handle hanging out in a motel room by myself.” Cas tilted his head questioningly. “I'm fine, Cas. Just leave me alone, I don't need a fucking babysitter.”

“Alright. The book said you would need these." Castiel said sheepishly, setting a paper shopping bag down on the bed before disappearing.

Three pairs of jeans, a pair of super soft sweatpants, and a couple of baggy t-shirts. Dean held up the jeans, which looked almost exactly like the ones he always wore, except for the panel of stretchy fabric at the waist. He felt a pang of guilt for being so short with Cas, he knew it wasn't really his fault this happened, but somehow he still got pissed off whenever that damn angel showed up.

* * *

“Are you gonna eat that?”

Sam looked up from his food, with a forkful of pasta hovering halfway to his mouth. Dean was licking his lips, staring expectantly. Sam sighed, “No, you can have it.” Ever since Dean's morning sickness had started relegating itself mainly to the evenings, he had become a bottomless pit the rest of the day. Gabriel's guide book had made it clear that certain things for Dean would be very different from a traditional pregnancy, one being that, due to the incredible strain the presence of angel grace placed on the human body, Dean would get ravenous and need to eat significantly more than any normal person (thankfully it didn't seem like excessive weight gain was going to be an issue). So when Dean wasn't throwing up, Sam never had the heart to say no to his brothers ridiculous appetite.

Another thing that Gabriel's book mentioned was that Dean would have to deal with extreme exhaustion, particularly in his third trimester, but here only about halfway through the second trimester, Sam was already starting to see that Dean was dragging with the demands of road life.

“Hey, maybe we should finally make that trip up to see Bobby.”

Dean ignored the suggestion, shoveled a forkful of Sam's pasta into his mouth, and continued surfing the web for a new job.

“Dean, come on, we have to visit Bobby eventually. He is already mad enough that we skipped out last time, we can't keep blowing him off.”

Dean knew that eventually they would need to see Bobby, but the whole thing just felt so uncomfortable, he had quietly hoped the situation would be resolved before they were finally forced to visit. Of course, that was becoming less and less likely with each passing day. Castiel was checking in as frequently as he could, Gabriel had not been heard from since his initial “visit”, and all of their attempts to fix things had come to nothing. Now Sam was staring at him with that kicked puppy look and he knew there was going to be no avoiding this.

Dean sighed. “Fine.”

* * *

It was late afternoon when they pulled up to Bobby's house, Sam cut the engine and glanced at Dean, noting with sympathy the way that he adjusted his shirt and tugged at his jacket, trying to minimize what still felt painfully obvious.

“It's fine Dean, Bobby already knows, it's not a big deal.”

Sam's attempt at comfort didn't make Dean feel any better. He had worked hard most of his life to maintain a certain 'no chick flick moments' image, but it's kind of hard to keep up the tough guy thing when you're waddling around with a baby bump. Honestly, it made him feel vulnerable, like a part of his insides was now on the outside, and he hated the feeling.

Bobby greeted them at the door, hugging both of them like nothing was different. They all walked inside and stood around the kitchen. For a solid minute, no one spoke.

“Okay, enough of this crap, let's see it.” Bobby said finally, nodding at Dean.

Sam started to say something, but Bobby cut him off. “Look I know this is awkward as all hell, but I half expected you'd both lost the rest of your screws when Sam told me, so if this is real, I wanna see with my own two eyes.” Sam gave Dean an apologetic look, but Dean just took a measured breath, opened his jacket, and pulled up his shirt. Bobby took in the sight with nothing more than raised eyebrows. “Well...” He said, “I need a drink.”

Dinner that evening was quiet. Dean's 'nighttime sickness' had kicked in, so he had gone for a walk to escape the smell of cooking chili and try to work through the queasiness. Sam dished his and Bobby's chili, then stowed the rest in the fridge, knowing that Dean would be starving by morning. When they had both finally settled down on the couch to eat, Bobby spoke up, “So what's the plan here? I mean, what are you boys gonna do?”

Sam pushed the chili around in his bowl, “I don't know exactly, we've tried a few dozen spells and nothing seems to do much of anything.”

“And how's Dean handling it?”

“I wish I knew, sometimes he seems almost okay with it, but most of the time he just seems pissed.”

“Nice to know some things never change.” They both chuckled and then resumed eating in silence. Until Sam felt a sudden rush of air and jumped when Gabriel appeared, sitting on the coffee table right in front of him, wearing his usual smirk. “Hey there kiddo.”

Bobby was already reaching for his gun, but Sam stilled him with a hand. “Don't worry, this is Gabriel.”

“Gabriel? Like...”

“Yeah, that one. Now as much as it pains you all to talk about something other than me, I have some news.”

“We should get Dean.”

“No worries handsome, Cassie is handling it. Now I don't have a lot of time, so shut up and listen. I can't get rid of Dean's little issue, no one can, at least not without blowing him, themselves, and probably a few hundred square miles into little tiny pieces.”

“What? Why? Cas said...”

“My little brother doesn't have the kind of resources I got, kiddo.”

“So why?” Sam asked again.

“The kid isn't the problem, because it isn't technically an angel. I mean, angel grace is _forming_ it, but using mostly very human DNA, from our precious Deano and everyone's favorite blue eyed vessel, the grace is just kind of filling in the gaps and acting as a womb, protecting, providing, you get the idea, but apart from that it should be just as vulnerable as any human kid.” Gabriel paused, seeming to weigh his next words. “There isn't gonna be a spell that can touch it, the only option would be to pierce it with an angel blade, which would not only kill Dean, but would also more than likely make everyone go boom.”

“I don't understand, there isn't _anything_ else that could work?”

“Listen, Castiel told you that the grace gets all wound up with the human's soul, right? Well, I had no idea exactly how much till I did that first examination. My brothers grace and your brothers soul have become virtually indistinguishable and apparently this powers up the grace like some kind of energizer bunny gone hulk. It's kind of like hiding a baby, nice, snug, and safe, inside a fully armed nuclear warhead.”

Sam and Bobby just looked at each other, the silence was so heavy, Sam could hear himself swallow. Eventually Gabriel coughed awkwardly, “Well, this has been fun, but I need to be getting back.”

“Wait! What about Dean? Don't you need to be checking him and stuff?”

“Okay, look, I'll be back when I can, but I'll leave a line open, so call if you need me. Toodles.” Gabe winked at Sam, then vanished.

Before either of them could catch their breath, Castiel appeared, “Where is Dean?”

“He went for a walk.”

“I have already searched the property and the surrounding area, I cannot find him.”

Sam stood, alarmed, “What do you mean you can't find him?”

* * *

Resting against the body of some old junker, Dean was breathing slowly and deeply, trying to fend off the nausea that swept over him in waves. He closed his eyes and pressed back against the cold metal, grateful for the evening chill. Even though he was more than tired of feeling sick, he was thankful at the moment just to have a little peace and quiet. He patted his bump and smiled slightly, “Good for something, I guess.” He felt a pronounced flutter in his belly, opened his eyes in surprise and looked down. He had felt little flutters on and off before, but never so obvious. He moved to rest his hand back over his bump and opened his mouth to speak, only to be silenced by a sharp pain in the back of his head. He felt himself reeling forward before his world went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit more painful and angsty, but I promise I will make it up to you with all of the ridiculous hilarity and fluff that is coming up. 
> 
> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy.

Dean woke with a start, as cold water was dumped over him, his head throbbed and his body felt extremely heavy. He was in a warehouse, chained to a wall, and being watched by two pairs of black eyes. The demons were looking him over carefully, a sadistic, perverted look plastered across the faces of their meat suits. One of them, wearing a blond man, tilted his head curiously, stepping directly in front of Dean, “Oh good, you're awake, we just couldn't wait to ask about this.” The demon said tracing a finger over Dean's stomach, before lifting his shirt.

Dean snarled and fought against the chains that held him. “Get your fucking hands off me!”

“Oh come now sweetie, we're just curious...”

Bile rose in Dean's throat as the demon slid a hand over the round of his exposed belly

“I mean really, you have got to tell us how this happened. Has the _righteous man_ been keeping secrets?”

The demon reached down and unceremoniously groped Dean's crotch. “Hmm, still all there.” He smirked. “There were rumors floating around that something very strange was happening with one of the Winchester brothers and I must say, you did not disappoint. The king is definitely going to want a look at whatever bastard spawn you're growing in there.”

Dean thrashed again, fear flooding his thoughts. He was desperate to pull his arms down, to put anything between his child and this ugly hell monkey.

Snickering, the demon drew a knife from behind his back and slid it over Dean's skin, leaving thin trails of blood, then slowly began pushing it into Dean's stomach. “You know, honestly, it's gonna be fun to spill you like this. I think we'll take our time, that way you'll be able to watch.” He smiled, then twisted the knife and pushed it in deeper.

“STOP IT!” Dean yelled, spitting and cursing at the demon. Every muscle in his body was straining, but he couldn't break free, he couldn't do anything. He was going to be just as useless to this baby as he had been to everyone else that had ever relied on him. He could feel the knife held by the second demon pierce him, could hear himself cry out, when light suddenly exploded in the room. The chains snapped and he dropped to the floor. _That must have been the baby, the demons reached it, they cut it out!_ Tears were forming in his eyes, until he looked up and gasped at what he saw.

The demons were both on their knees, cowering in front of a figure emanating a searing white light. The shadow of wings extending behind the figure, so massive, that they stretched from one end of the room to the other.

“To touch Dean Winchester, was a mistake.”

The voice was deafening, fearsome, and familiar. Cas. It was Cas, but not the Cas that Dean was used to, this Castiel was wholly and utterly terrifying, every inch the warrior angel that Dean often forgot was hiding inside his awkward little friend.

Castiel walked towards the demons, the shadow of his vast wings shifting with the movement. The demons both tried to smoke out, but Castiel pushed them back in with a wave of his hands and then lifted them by their throats, as if they weighed nothing. The demons struggled, then started to gag, their skin expanding with light, the blond man looked like he was trying to scream, but he only managed to thrash and gurgle. Cracks began to form in their skin, light seeping through them, before there was a blinding flash, and when Dean opened his eyes again, Castiel was his normal trench coated self and the demons were piles of ash on the floor.

Cas hurried to Dean's side, reaching out to place a hand on him. Dean swatted at his arm and scrambled away, “DON'T TOUCH ME!” He yelled, curling protectively around his still badly bleeding stomach.

Dean didn't understand, he knew this was Cas, he knew Cas wouldn't hurt him, but he didn't want anyone to touch him, to come near him, to come near his baby. Everything inside him was screaming _PROTECT, PROTECT, PROTECT_! He just needed to keep his stomach covered, he just needed to keep everyone away from his baby, no matter what.

“Dean!”

Sam was calling out, as he came bursting through the far door, looking panicked at the sight of Dean crumpled on the floor. He rushed over, stopping abruptly when Dean curled in on himself and practically hissed, “Stay away from me!”

Cas looked completely confused, he tried to reach out again, but Sam stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Dean?” Sam said again, more softly. Staring up at him with wide eyes, Dean was breathing heavily, and Sam knew his brother well enough to read the rigid lines of his posture and recognize that this was more than just fear. Sam backed up, pulling Cas with him, giving Dean space, and speaking slowly, “Dean, it's okay, we're okay now, everyone is safe. Cas just wants to heal your injuries, just one touch and then we can get out of here and get back to the... get back home.”

Dean didn't relax, he couldn't relax, everything is a threat. Everyone is a threat. _No, that's not right, Sam is not a threat, Cas is not a threat._ He willed himself to calm down, succeeding only marginally. His every instinct still sounding a continuous alarm.

Castiel stayed quiet throughout this exchange, he wanted to rush to Dean, to heal his injuries, maybe even hug him and beg his forgiveness for not keeping him in sight, for letting things get as far as they did before finding him. He wanted to do a lot of things, but he kept still, recognizing that whatever was happening with Dean was beyond his understanding and trusting that no one knows Dean better than Sam.

Still a safe distance back, Sam crouched, “Dean, would it be okay if Cas healed you?” He paused, “Just one quick touch and we'll go.”

Dean tensed, then relaxed a little as the words registered. He obliged warily, unfolding enough for Cas to rest a gentle hand over his injuries. As soon as Dean was healed, he moved to stand, both Sam and Cas fighting the impulse to support him. When he had found his footing, he backed away from them, still on edge, curling his arms tightly over his abdomen.

They all climbed into the car (including Cas) and set off immediately for the safety of Bobby's. Sam drove. Dean rode shot gun, kept his arms over his stomach, and said nothing. When they got to Bobby's, Sam hurried Dean inside while Cas did a perimeter check and then joined them. Bobby greeted them first with relief and then concern when he saw the blood stained front of Dean's shirt.

“You okay, boy?”

Dean didn't say anything, he just snatched up his bag, headed upstairs and disappeared into the bathroom. Cas followed him and waited patiently outside the bathroom door.

Bobby looked at Sam, “Is he okay? What happened?”

“A couple of demons grabbed him. He hasn't said anything, but from the look of his injuries, they tried to kill the baby or cut it out of him. He was pretty shaken up when we got there.”

“Damn.”

Dean stood under the warm spray of water, keeping one hand pressed against the tiled shower wall, fighting back the nausea. He knew that everyone was worried, but he just couldn't talk to them, not yet, he needed to think. Dealing with demons wasn't exactly new, that wasn't the part that was bothering him. Despite everything that had taken place, only two little words were consuming his mind. _My child._ Dean had never before thought of the baby growing inside him as being his, it was always just _a_ baby, not _his_ baby, but for some reason, when threatened, his gut reaction, all that he could think about, all that he was worried about, was what was gonna happen to this kid. The idea that, if Cas had not shown up when he did, the baby might have been hurt or killed, the idea of anything or anyone hurting this child made him feel sick... and angry, really fucking angry. The kind of angry that he only got over the people that he cared about most in this world. _When did I decide this... my... baby belongs in that category?_ He scrubbed a hand over his face, turned off the water, and stepped out of the shower. He was toweling off and staring at his blurred reflection in the foggy mirror, when he felt a flutter in his belly, he rested a hand over his bump and felt another flutter. Movement? Kicks? A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and the feeling was strange and terrifying. What did this mean? Was he really considering having this kid? Keeping this kid? He heard a knock on the door, followed by Cas' quiet voice, “Dean? Are you alright?” He dressed quickly and opened the door, “Yeah, I'm fine, just leave me alone... please.” Walking past Castiel, he went back downstairs and collapsed on the couch without another word to anyone.

* * *

As the sun was just beginning to rise, Dean was stretched out, sound asleep, on the couch, while Sam, Cas, and Bobby stood in the kitchen, watching him intently.

“I think we should wait a while before we tell Dean what Gabriel said.”

Cas looked at Sam, confused, “Dean deserves to know.”

“Come on, Cas, you saw how messed up he was in that warehouse. I'm not sure he could handle it.”

“I agree that Dean's state of mind is a concern right now, but...”

“Listen, I'm not saying we never tell him, I'm just asking you to wait.”

Cas nodded.

“I've never heard of Dean gettin so twisted up over a demon attack.” Bobby added quietly, “Does this have to do with the pregnancy?”

“I don't know. He was really freaked out, like more freaked out than I have seen him in a long time and he still won't tell us exactly what happened.” Sam said. He knew that the demon attack had changed something, but right now, he couldn't pin down what. “Maybe it was an adrenaline thing.” Bobby suggested.

Cas tilted his head, “Perhaps we should call Gabriel.” Sam nodded, “Definitely.” A moment later, with a soft rush of wings, Gabriel appeared. “Sam, look, I know you can't get enough of this gorgeous face, but I'm a little...” Gabe stopped mid sentence, when he noticed their grave expressions. “Why the sourpatch? What happened?”

“Dean was attacked, demons, they cut into his stomach.”

“Huh.”

“Huh? What do you mean huh? Dean was attacked!”

“Relax tall, dark, and broody, I'll check him out.” Gabe smiled and snapped his fingers. Both he and Dean vanished. A minute later they were back and Dean was still sound asleep.

“Well, you'll be glad to know that Dean and baby are both fine, no need to check on him, it's good that he's resting, so I kept him knocked out. You guys are gonna have to be careful from now on, keep a low profile and all that. I figured eventually the word would get out, but I guess the demon gossip chain moved even faster than I thought it would.”

“So you knew this was gonna happen?!” Sam asked, anger rising in his voice.

“Of course not, I just wasn't dumb enough to think the hell spawn were gonna miss the great demon hunting Dean Winchester walking around all barefoot and pregnant. Listen Sam, you need to pull back and keep Dean out of the game. It is going to be twice as dangerous for him now. Personally, I would haul ass for that fortress of yours and lock him inside, but at the very least, he needs to stop hunting.” Gabe walked up close to Sam, “And you need to tell him.”

Sam looked down and nodded.

“If that's all, I need to get back.” Gabe gave Castiel a knowing look, “I take it you're not coming.”

Cas shook his head. “I can't.”

“Yeah, I figured.” He smiled, “Take care of these morons. I'll be around.” Another rush of wings and he was gone.

* * *

Dean stirred mid afternoon to find Cas sitting in a chair next to the couch, staring at him. “I thought you would've been gone by now?”

“I'm not leaving. I never should have left in the first place. I'm sorry, Dean.” They just looked at each other for a while, until finally Dean spoke, “Yeah, okay. Where's Sam? And Bobby?”

“They went out for supplies. We thought it best to let you sleep. How are you feeling?” Dean sat up and yawned, “I'm fine. Listen Cas...”

“Dean, there is no way to end your pregnancy.”

“What?”

“Gabriel... we looked everywhere, but it would kill you. I'm sorry.”

Dean just smiled and nodded, “Huh. It's funny.”

“I don't understand.”

“Well, I just... I was kind of thinking maybe I wanted... I mean, I think I'd like to...” He sighed, “I guess I just mean I'm okay with that.” Cas still looked confused, “I don't...” He was interrupted when the side door opened and they heard Sam and Bobby walk in. “Hey, you're up! How are you feeling?”

“Fine. Hungry. Did you get anything to eat?”

“Sorry, didn't have time, but we can grab something on the road.”

“On the road?”

“Yeah, come on, the car is already packed and gassed up.”

“Wait, where are we going?”

“The bunker. Gabriel said we needed to lay low for a while, so we're gonna lay low.” Sam was obviously not in the mood for any further discussion, as he grabbed the bags that had been sitting on the kitchen table and headed back out the door. “Let's go.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy.

The nearly seven hours it took to drive to the bunker was an amalgam of strange. Dean shared the driving, inhaled food like a vacuum, told lame jokes, and generally felt more like himself than he had in months. Sam kept giving him odd looks and asking if he was okay and, much to Dean's amusement, Cas actually managed to looked more confused than usual. It was night when they arrived at the bunker, a welcome sight for everyone, but particularly for Dean, who had spent the last hour of the drive sick to his stomach. His 'evening sickness' was getting better, but still not fun, especially on the winding Kansas country roads.

Cas had stayed close to Dean the whole trip and even inside the safety of the bunkers warded walls, he still hovered. Dean tried to convince him that they were safe here, that he could relax. Though his efforts proved fruitless when he got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, only to nearly have a heart attack finding Cas standing like a sentinel just outside his bedroom door. Sam tried talking to Cas about it too, but, in all honesty, he was actually kind of glad that someone was keeping a constant eye on Dean. He felt guilty for not being there to protect his brother from those demons and he still wasn't sure about Dean's state of mind.

Two days later Sam woke up early in the morning. As he walked down the hall, he could smell food and hear Dean talking. Cas was sitting at the kitchen table, watching Dean, who was barefoot, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, cooking up a huge breakfast of sausage, pancakes, and hash-browns, and practically dancing around the kitchen. “Dean? What're you doing?”

“What's it look like? Sit down, I am making us an awesome breakfast.”

Sam grabbed a plate and sat next to Cas, Dean walked over and dished him a large helping of everything, dished the rest onto his own plate and sat opposite them. Sam and Cas both just stared, he seemed so... happy.

After breakfast, Dean was doing dishes and Sam had moved into the library, when there was a loud crash. “DAMN IT! FUCKING DAMN IT!” Sam hurried back into the kitchen, where Cas was helping Dean pick up the freshly washed pans and plates off the floor. Sam noticed the tears in Dean's eyes, “Hey, are you okay?”

“IM FINE! LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP FUCKING ASKING ME THAT EVERY FIVE FUCKING SECONDS!” Dean screamed at him, before stomping out of the kitchen. Sam could hear him screaming and cursing all the way down the hall, until a door slammed. “What the hell was that?” Sam asked, as Cas carefully arranged the dishes back on the counter. “I'm not sure,” Cas paused thoughtfully, “but the book said he might have something like this, I believe they were called 'mood swings'.” Sam raised his eyebrows, “Mood swings? Great.”

“Well, if this was a mood swing, I think it means we need to be careful, according to Gabriel's description, they can make pregnant people incredibly dangerous.”

After giving Dean some time to cool off, Sam went to his room and knocked cautiously on the door, he opened it a crack and poked his head in, Dean was sitting on his bed, “Hey, are you... umm... I mean, can I come in?”

“Yeah." Dean pulled at a loose strand of thread on his blanket, "Sorry about... before. Not sure what that was about.” Sam just smiled and fidgeted for a second, then ran his fingers through his hair, "Listen Dean, can we talk?” Dean nodded. “I don't mean to stick my nose in your business, but I know that Cas told you what Gabriel said and I just wondered how you were doing with it.”

“Sam, I already told you, I'm fine.”

“But how am I supposed to believe that, Dean? I mean, first, you're pissed all the time, then you get jumped by demons, completely freak out, and now suddenly you're _fine_. Suddenly you're making breakfast, not getting mad at Cas every time you see him, I just don't get it, man.”

“I know it sounds insane, but I guess the demon thing just gave me a little clarity.”

“Clarity? On what?”

“On this.” Dean gestured to his stomach. “I've never had a lot of good in my life, Sammy, in fact, most of it has been nothing but nightmares and blood, and I know, chances are, I've got a lot more of both waitin for me down the road. I accepted a long time ago that I'm not someone who's ever gonna get to have one of those normal, picket fence, apple pie lives, but then this happened and I don't know, maybe this is my chance to have a little piece of that in spite of all the crap. I mean, you, Bobby, Cas, you're my family and pretty much the only little bit of good that I do have. And this baby... it's... it's gonna be my family too. So yeah, this is probably the weirdest fucking thing I have ever been through in my life, but maybe it's not a bad thing.”

“So, you're really okay?”

“Believe it or not.”

Sam stood quietly, then shrugged.“Alright, well, if you're good with it, then I am too.” He smiled. “Besides, I guess being an uncle doesn't sound too bad.” That was when Dean noticed Cas' shoulder visible just outside the door, “Cas?” Castiel walked into the room, looking sheepish, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop.” Sam looked back and forth between them for a moment, then cleared his throat, “Well, I'm gonna go... do... something.” He turned and awkwardly strode out of the room.

“So?” Dean said, but Cas didn't answer, keeping his eyes on the floor. “You heard what I told Sam, so what do you think about all this? I mean, how do you feel about me keeping our kid?” Cas looked up at that, with wide eyes, “You want to keep... _our_ child?” Dean smiled, “Yeah.”

Cas thought for a moment. “Happy.” He said softly, then he straightened and spoke with conviction, “I feel happy, and if you'll let me, I will help any way that I can.”

Right at that moment Dean felt another flutter. _No, those aren't flutters, those are kicks!_ “Hey! Cas, come here, feel this!” Cas hurried over and Dean positioned his hand over his bump. Another kick. Cas startled, then crouched down and placed his other hand over Dean's belly as well. Another kick. Dean grinned, watching the look of awe settle over Castiel's face, as he felt his child move for the first time, and, even though Dean will forever blame it on the hormones, he might have teared up a little too.

* * *

They hadn't even been back at the bunker for two weeks and Dean was already going stir crazy. He and Sam had been arguing for the past four days straight about going out on a hunt. Dean insisted that they could stick to something small and easy, but Sam wouldn't budge on the issue. Finally, Dean had resorted to begging him to at least let him do the grocery shopping, Sam grudgingly agreed, on the condition that he and Cas go along. Dean didn't mind, he was just glad to get out. It felt good to be back in the Impala and back on the road, even if it was just for a few miles. At the grocery store, Cas pushed the cart and kept a wary eye on every person they passed, as Dean and Sam worked their way down the list.

“Do you have a baby in your tummy?”

Dean had always known that eventually he was going to reach a point when baggy shirts and jackets were not going to hide his situation anymore, and as he stared down at the curiosity filled eyes of the little girl who had stopped him in the canned food aisle, he realized that time was now.

“What?”

“You have a tummy like my mama, do you have a baby in your tummy too?”

“Umm...”

“Diana?!” A woman came up and grabbed the little girls arm, gently scolding her, before looking up at Dean. Her face read as equal parts surprise and embarrassment. “I am so sorry about that, she's only four. Still learning manners. Sorry.” The woman was obviously pregnant as well, – _As well? As well!? When did I become so fucking nonchalant about this?_ – and kept glancing at Dean's protruding belly. Dean just smiled, “It's okay, no big deal.” When Dean turned around Cas was staring at him with a curious expression and Sam was trying his hardest not to laugh. Dean just shook his head, “Shut up.” He figured he was either going to have to get used to the stares and awkward questions or hide in the bunker for the next few months, which he definitely was not going to do.

Sam went to put a carton of eggs in the cart and Dean made a face. “Dude, no, gross, get rid of those things!” When they rounded the corner, Sam picked up a package of turkey deli meat and waved it in front of Dean's face with a grin, “Hey Dean, does turkey still bother you?” Dean knocked his arm away and glared at him, “I _will_ throw up on you.” Cas watched with amusement, as the brothers went back and forth, quibbling over which milk to buy, whether or not they were out of poptarts, who ate all of the burritos (Cas didn't say anything, but it was Dean), and a dozen other meaningless things. He smiled, realizing how much he had missed all of these stupid, boring moments with the Winchester's. He always used to think that these moments were insignificant and unimportant, a waste of his time, but now they seemed quite the opposite, as he couldn't imagine wanting to be anywhere else.

* * *

 When they got back to the bunker and brought in the groceries, Sam and Cas restocked the kitchen, while Dean sat at the table, grumbling about his sore feet.

“What? No pickles and ice cream?”

All three of them jumped when Gabriel appeared, sitting on the counter and digging through one of the grocery bags. “Why do you always have to do that?!” Sam gritted out. “Honestly? Because it's fun.” He snatched a candy bar out of the bag, tucked it into his jacket pocket, and hopped off the counter.

“Is there a reason you're here, Gabriel, I mean other than to steal our food?” Dean asked, glowering at him.

“Well, Cassie has been keeping me plenty updated on the baby mama drama, but there was a lull in the bitch slapping going on upstairs, so I figured it was a good time to drop in on my favorite little brother and, of course, to check on my patient.” He smiled at Dean and snapped his fingers. They both disappeared and then reappeared a couple of minutes later. “Son of a bitch! A little warning next time!” Gabriel ignored him. “Everything is still good. Just keep sticking to the instructions you already have in my book and you should make it to that finish line just fine.” He pulled the candy bar out of his jacket and unwrapped it. Sam was tapping his fingers on the counter, “Hey, when you do these checkups on Dean, would it be possible for you to tell if it's a girl or a boy?” Gabe chewed for a second before answering, “Oh, yeah definitely.” Dean stood up from the table, “Really? Okay, do that.”

“No need.”

Cas tilted his head questioningly, “Why?”

“Cause I already did.”

Everyone stared at him expectantly, but he didn't say anything, until Dean finally spoke up, “So? Which is it?” Gabe took another bite, chewed thoroughly and swallowed, “Hmm... I don't know.” He stuffed the last of the candy bar into his mouth and started slowly sucking the chocolate off of his fingers.

“Just tell us!” All three men shouted almost simultaneously.

“I could tell you...” Gabriel said, with a mischievous grin, “but then, what would be the fun in that?”

Before anyone could say another word, he vanished. Dean slammed his hand down on the table, “That's it, I'm gonna kill him!”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy.

For the week after Gabriel's visit, all three of them pestered the Archangel almost constantly. As a last ditch effort, they put down a circle of holy oil and tried to summon him, but when they had completed the spell nothing happened. After waiting for several minutes they were about to give up, when suddenly hundreds of pink and blue balloons began raining down on them out of nowhere.

“I don't think that asshole is gonna tell us anything.” Sam said in frustration. Dean kicked away the balloons that were pooled around his feet, “Gabe and his stupid fucking games.” He narrowed his eyes at Cas, “Just had to be Gabriel, didn't it?”

Cas was busy staring at the balloons, “Unfortunately, I believe Sam is correct.” He took a deep breath, looking thoroughly annoyed, “This would be considerably easier if I could just check the babies gender myself.”

“Hold on.” Sam said, as he walked to the center of the room and stooped down, pushing through the pile of balloons. “There's something under here.” He found a plain white envelope on the floor in the center of the holy oil circle. Sam stood up and handed it to Dean, who ripped it open and pulled out a card, tied closed with a red ribbon. In beautiful gold script the front of the card read: **Congratulations! It's a...**

Dean quickly pulled off the ribbon and opened the card, he stood still for a second, his jaw clenched, staring at the inside.

“What does it say!?” Sam asked anxiously.

Dean gritted his teeth and handed the card to Sam. “See for yourself.” With Cas looking on, Sam opened the card and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah. That's right. It's blank. It's fucking blank!” Dean turned and stormed out of the room, still ranting, “I SWEAR, I AM GONNA DEEP FRY THAT FEATHERY BASTARD!”

Castiel just sighed.

* * *

For a while the boys had what felt like a parade of visitors. Jody came down for a weekend, after growing suspicious and finally convincing Bobby to tell her what was really going on. She handled everything surprisingly well, offering help, useful advice, and general commiseration with Dean on the trials of pregnancy. After that Bobby swung by with Garth in tow, the two of them having wrapped up a job nearby. Bobby was his usual stoical self and Garth just giggled uncontrollably on and off for several hours. In the midst of all of this, however, things still managed to settle into a strange sort of rhythm.

Dean was now over seven months along and starting to feel VERY pregnant. Though he had to admit, it wasn't terrible, the feeling of a life inside him, the feeling of tiny limbs moving and kicking. Even the idea of fatherhood was slowly becoming less terrifying. Dean had gotten mostly used to Cas still refusing to leave his side, other than to fetch things he wanted from other rooms or to zap out and pick up whatever food he was currently craving. Sometimes he still got irritated with the angels continuous hovering, but most of the time Dean was glad to have him around, a kind of constant reassurance that he was not in this alone. He had also noticed the displeased frown that would settle over Cas' face any time someone put a hand on his belly, even Sam. For some reason Dean found it endearing how much Cas resembled a nervous doting husband, though he would never admit it anywhere except the privacy of his own thoughts.

Sam busied himself with lots of research, helping Bobby whenever he needed info for a hunter, cataloging rooms throughout the bunker, and trying to ignore Dean's tumultuous moods. He purposefully withdrew a bit from Dean and Cas, trying to let them find their stride together. Sam had always known how much they cared for each other and he had realized early on that the pregnancy only seemed to be intensifying those feelings. He tried a couple of times to talk to his brother about it, but Dean would just roll his eyes and change the subject. Trying to talk to Cas wasn't much better, as he would just stare nervously at the ground before making up an excuse to leave, forcing Sam to go on quietly hoping that they would both eventually suck it up and admit what everyone else already knew.

Castiel spent a lot of his time trying to understand and work through a host of new and confusing feelings. It was difficult to explain the pull he felt to be close to Dean, the overprotective anger whenever anyone, other than him, touched Dean, or the unfamiliar swell of emotions whenever he noticed Dean absently rubbing his hand over his bump. In frustration, one evening, he sought out Gabriel to ask about what was happening.

“Oh, you mean aside from you being helplessly in love with Dean?”

Cas was taken aback, as his face reddened, “I am not...” Gabriel snapped his fingers and duct tape appeared over Cas' mouth, “Listen kiddo, you can lie to Dean, you can lie to Sam, hell, you can even lie to yourself, but you cannot lie to me.”

Cas nodded and the duct tape disappeared, “It doesn't matter, Dean doesn't feel the same way.”

“So you've asked him?"

Staring at the ground, Cas shrugged, "I already know."

"Oh really, so you just assume the dude who is currently carrying your freaking kid doesn't care about you at all?”

“That doesn't mean anything, Dean is a good man and he didn't choose this, he never wanted any of this.”

Gabriel rubbed his temples, letting out an exasperated sigh, “Okay, look, this baby is a little part of your grace, it's a piece of you and you are never gonna feel completely whole ever again, it's gonna be intense, especially early on, that's just how it is.” He grabbed Cas by the shoulders, forcing Cas to look at him, “but other than that, all those other feelings you're swimming around in, those are _not_ the baby, those are because you care... about Dean... a lot."

"But I don't think..."

Gabriel held up a hand, "No. Just talk to him, you big oblivious moron.”

After that conversation, Cas tried several times to take Gabriel's advice, but it never felt like the right moment, or maybe he was just scared. In some ways he hated even imagining that Dean might reciprocate his feelings, because it made his stomach twist up with this bitter mix of hope and fear. It felt strange to have these very human emotions wreaking havoc inside his mind, he had always thought himself to be above all of this.

Cas looked up, hearing Dean's voice reverberating down the hallway. In the last couple of weeks Dean had been feeling worse at night and liked to walk the winding halls of the bunker when he couldn't sleep. Cas checked in on him regularly, but usually stayed invisible to allow Dean his privacy. If he was being honest, though, he rather enjoyed quietly observing these moments, since Dean had taken to talking to the baby. He would hum the melodies of his favorite songs, talk about things that were happening, and tell the baby all about his life and family. Cas listened now to the familiar sway of Dean's voice, low and tinged with sorrow, as he told the baby about his mother, “And man was she beautiful...” Dean stopped and rested both hands over his belly, “I wish you could've met her. She would've loved having grandkids.” Cas tilted his head and smiled softly, as he let Dean walk on alone. Gabriel was right and Cas had always known it. From the very moment he laid a hand on the brightest soul he had ever seen, he knew that he was altogether lost to this thing called humanity, to this stubborn, angry, whiskey drinking, plaid wearing... humanity.

* * *

As the eighth month of Dean's pregnancy began, Castiel had become positively driven in his need to care for him, to provide anything and everything he wanted, day or night, no matter how ridiculous. Once when Dean was napping, Sam had joked about Dean asking for the moon and Cas lassoing it for him, he had laughed until he noticed the way Cas' eyebrows where knitted together in a look of careful determination. “Is that something Dean wants?” It took Sam a minute to realize that he wasn't kidding, then ten more minutes to try and explain the movie reference and convince him that he didn't actually need to pull the moon down for Dean. Apparently, when Cas said he would get Dean whatever he wanted, he wasn't exaggerating. This point was further confirmed a week later, when the brothers woke up to find a Shetland pony quietly eating hay in the middle of the library. To make a long story short, Dean named him Bill, he lives with one of Garth's friends, and Dean never jokingly wrote 'Pony' on the shopping list ever again.

Dean sighed and worked his jaw, staring at the cellphone he had just dropped, laying there on the floor, mocking him. _I don't need any help, I can do this, just pick it up. Yeah, that's all, just lean down and pick it up._ He had never realized exactly how much he was taking for granted being able to do things like climb stairs quickly, stand up out of a chair, tie his shoes—at this point he would settle for being able to see his feet at all—and yes, pick things up off the floor. He put a hand on the wall and proceeded to squat down, into what he was certain would be the worlds most awkward position, and try to reach for the phone.

“Need a little help?”

He groaned and straightened, “What do you think, Sam?! God, it's like trying to move around with a twenty pound beach ball shoved up inside you.”

Sam made a face, “That's a nice image.” He snatched up the phone and handed it to Dean, who was giving him a dirty look. “Show off.”

Dean slipped the phone in his pocket and continued on to the den, which had originally been another bedroom when they first found the bunker, and was now a sort of TV room, with a couch and an oversized chair, that Dean had since claimed as his own. Sam teasingly referred to it as the 'pregnant lady chair', but Dean couldn't care less, since it was one of the few spots where he could relax and still feel semi comfortable. Cas was arranging something on the tray next to the chair, when Dean walked in. Dean grinned when he saw the slices of cucumber and the little bowl of ketchup. “You read my mind!”

Cas looked slightly alarmed, "I assure you I did not."

Dean ignored him, fluffed up the pillow that he liked for his back and sank into the chair with a sigh, then grabbed a slice of cucumber, dipped it in the ketchup, and popped it into his mouth. Cas set the TV remote on Dean's tray and sat down on the couch.

“What do you think about names?” Dean asked randomly.

“I don't understand the question.” Cas said, looking confused.

"Names, for the baby. When Jody called yesterday she asked what we were thinking about for names and I guess I haven't really thought about it. I mean obviously, since your brother is still being a dick, we'd have to pick one for a boy and a girl. So what do you think?”

“I don't know,” Cas said, thoughtfully.

Dean chewed on another slice of cucumber, watching Cas' face. He wasn't being entirely honest, since he had actually thought quite a bit about names, but he felt bad that he hadn't discussed any of them with Cas. “You know you're allowed to have an opinion about this, right?”

“Yes, I know.”

“Okay, so?"

“I suppose I'm fine with whatever you want.”

They stared at each other awkwardly for a little while, until Dean rolled his eyes, grabbed the remote, and flipped on the TV.

* * *

“Son of a bitch!”

Dean threw off the covers and pushed at his pillows, trying to search out a position that felt mildly comfortable, but as with so many other nights, nothing seemed to help. With a grunt he sat up, “Fucking hell, would you please just settle down and let me get some sleep!” He said angrily, looking down at his belly.

Cas appeared next to the bed, “Are you alright?"

“Oh, I'm just fucking great. My back hurts, my legs hurt, my ribs hurt, I'm hungry, I'm exhausted, and now your kid has decided to start doing fuckin somersaults.”

“I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

“Do you have enough angel mojo to help me out?”

“I can try.” Cas pressed two fingers to Dean's forehead. This was the fourth time in the last month that he had tried to help Dean sleep. Unfortunately the powered up grace inside Dean seemed to effectively counteract most of Cas' powers, so he couldn't put Dean to sleep, but using a substantial amount of his energy, he could help Dean's body to calm. Cas used up as much as he could without draining himself and then pulled his hand back, "Any better?" 

"Yeah, a little. I'm just so fucking tired, Cas."

“I could always call Gabriel.”

“God, no! That's the last thing I need.”

“I'm sorry, I wish I could be of more help.”

“It's okay.” Dean sighed, laying back down, pulling the blanket back over himself, and closing his eyes.

Cas moved to leave, but Dean reached out and grabbed his trench coat. “You can stay... for a minute... if you want.” Dean said quietly, looking up at him. Cas nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed. Dean closed his eyes again and they both remained silent. Eventually Cas could feel Dean relax and hear his breathing beginning to even out, he was relieved that Dean could finally get some rest. He looked at Dean and then at the door, wondering if he should leave, but when he started to stand, Cas noticed Dean's hand, still clutching the edge of his trench coat. Dean grimaced in his sleep and exhaled softly, "Stay." Cas settled back into place, with a contented smile, and rested his hand gently over Dean's, “Of course."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have reached over one hundred kudos on this story, I wish I could shower you all with happiness and rainbows and glitter! So glad I am not the only one that wanted this crazy thing! 
> 
> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy.

Feeling the pressure in his bladder, Dean stirred, sighing, as he opened his eyes. The room was mostly dark, the only light a soft glow coming from under the door. He quietly took in the shadowy outline of Cas sitting on the edge of the bed, perfectly still, his hands folded in his lap, and his eyes closed. He looked so utterly peaceful, Dean just watched with fascination, not wanting to move, not wanting to disturb him. He wondered what the angel was thinking about, or if perhaps he was praying. “Damn, you're beautiful.” Cas startled slightly and turned to him with a look of surprise, “What?”

Dean's eyes went wide, “Uh. What? I didn't...” He got up quickly—well, as quickly as you can when you're over 8 months pregnant—and hurried out the door and down the hall. “I uhh... I need to take a leak.” He said over his shoulder. When the bathroom door clicked closed behind him, he leaned back against it. _Shit! Shit! Shit! What the hell was that?! Why did I say that?!_

Cas was waiting for him, wearing a carefully blank expression, when he came out of the bathroom, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Uh. I'm fine. Thanks. I'm gonna go... do... make... breakfast. I'm gonna go make breakfast. Yeah. Okay.” Dean turned and started down the hall toward the kitchen, mentally kicking himself for sounding like a complete idiot.

Cas watched Dean disappear around the corner, as he replayed the moment over and over in his mind, convinced he must have heard wrong, but each time the words were the same. He didn't know what to do. Part of him wanted to go after Dean and demand that he explain what this meant, but the other part of him wondered if it would be better to say nothing.

“Dean?”

“What do you think for breakfast? I was kinda thinking maybe I'd like one of those sausage and biscuit meals from that place in town, you mind running out to grab it for me... and maybe grab one for Sam too.”

Cas nodded, “Sure. I can do that.” He had sworn that he would help Dean any way that he could, so if Dean needed him to pretend that earlier that morning had never happened, that is exactly what he would do.

* * *

 About a half hour later, stretching and yawning, Sam sauntered into the library, where he found Dean at the large table, surrounded by stacks of books, and clicking on the laptop. Cas was sitting next to him thumbing through an old book of spells. “What's goin on?”

“Garth called a minute ago for some info, guess he's dealing with a weird one. Cas got breakfast,” Dean pointed to the white food container sitting on the table across from him, “You ever heard of a spell that can make a persons limbs randomly fall off?”

Sam wrinkled his nose, “No, that would definitely be a first.”

“Well, I guess four people have 'fallen to pieces' outside of South Hill, Virginia.” Dean said with a snicker. Sam rolled his eyes and snatched up the food container, “So what does he need from us?”

“Well, he figures witch, but he hasn't been able to find any hex bags, so we're looking at other spell delivery methods, he's hoping there could be a clue in them that would help him track it down.”

“What about Bobby?” Sam asked, pulling a book off the stack in front of Cas before sitting down.

“He's already helping out a couple of hunters in Montana.”

“Okay.” Sam scrubbed his hands over his face, took a bite of one of the biscuits, and opened the book. “Always love starting out my day with witches and piles of amputated limbs.”

They had been working for a couple of hours when Dean stood up and walked to one of the shelves, carefully scanning the titles. Sam glanced up noticing the way he was absentmindedly tapping his fingers against his belly. It was strange, how it didn't look out of place anymore, how his brother, the tough guy, the badass hunter, looked so completely at ease like this. Cas still had a book open in front of him, but, as always, was keeping a watchful eye on Dean. Sam just smiled and shook his head.

With intense research they discovered that amputation spells are apparently more common in Europe and can be performed by grinding up spell ingredients, spreading that powder over the intended victim, and chanting the words of whatever your chosen spell. By the time they found this information and had gotten it relayed to Garth, it was late afternoon and Dean was feeling more claustrophobic than usual. He desperately wanted to go for a walk, or a drive, or something, anything to get out of the bunker for a while. Sam and Cas were both hesitant, but eventually agreed, with the customary requirement that he could not go alone.

“Aren't you coming?”

Sam stood at the base of the stairs, leaning on the railing, “Nah, I think I'm gonna stay here and try to write out all this crap we found, you know, for future reference.” He glanced back and forth between Dean and Cas, smiling broadly, “But you two have fun.”

Dean narrowed his eyes at his little brother, before proceeding up the stairs. “Yeah, whatever.”

Dean was so relieved to step outside the bunker walls, it was like a weight immediately lifted off his shoulders. The sky was cloudy and the air was a little humid, but it was nice, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had never been much of a nature person, he liked a bed and a shower too much. Of course, he had also found the woods to be more often than not an astounding source of all things monstrous and flesh eating, but today was different. Being out here with no nightmare to chase, nothing but a canopy of trees just beginning to turn with the change of seasons and a breeze cooling the sweat on his forehead, it made him feel almost serene.

They walked a little ways down hill, Cas remaining practically shoulder to shoulder with him, looking around apprehensively, poised like he was ready to strike at any moment or just grab Dean and flee.

“Calm down, Cas, geez. You're making me jumpy.”

“I'm sorry. We should go back to the bunker.”

“We've only been gone for 5 minutes! Relax and try to en... AH!” Dean slipped and tumbled backwards, Cas caught his arm and steadied him, before he hit the ground. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, damn leaves.”

They walked on, but Cas kept holding on to Dean's arm, Dean tried to shake him off, but he wouldn't let go.

“You might fall.”

“I'm perfectly capable of walking without help, Cas. Now let go.” Dean said, in a huffy tone.

Cas let go of his arm and Dean moved a couple of paces ahead of him, where—because this is his life—he promptly stepped on a branch, lost his footing, and fell on his ass. “Son of a bitch!” Castiel was at his side in a moment and if Dean wasn't mistaken, there was more than just a hint of amusement on his face.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

“I wasn't laughing.” Cas said, with an almost straight face, as he helped Dean to his feet.

When they started off again, Cas kept a stabilizing hand on Dean's arm and this time Dean didn't complain. He was just glad Sam hadn't been around to see any of that, because he knew he would never hear the end of it.

Eventually Dean began to feel an all too familiar exhaustion setting in. It was unbelievable how tired he got sometimes, like all of a sudden someone just pulled the plug and every drop of his energy drained all at once. Thankfully, in spite of Dean's constant refusal to admit how he was feeling, Cas had become pretty well attuned to the signs of his tiredness.

“I think we should really be getting back, Sam will be worried if we're gone too long.”

Dean turned and gazed back up the hill, “Yeah, I guess.” He felt Cas' grip on his arm tighten slightly and then an intense rushing sensation, and they were standing on the doorstep of the bunker.

“Damn it, Cas, we could've just walked!”

“This was faster.”

Dean sighed and headed for the door. He was embarrassed, because he knew the only reason that Cas flew them back was because he would have barely been able to make it back up the hill, but he was also grateful, because Cas never said anything and ensured that Sam would never know. He didn't like to think about, let alone admit, how much he had come to rely on Cas in the past couple of months. After years of facing incredible odds and having each others backs, during the Apocalypse, the angel war that followed, not to mention all of the generally horrible crap they dealt with on an almost daily basis, he had come to trust Cas, to depend on his help when the shit hit the fan, but this was different. He didn't just need Cas' help, it was like he needed... his presence.

* * *

That evening brought with it a storm, with pounding rain and howling wind, Dean was surprised at how loud it was even in the underground corridors of the bunker. Sam was still awake, the light was on in his room and Dean could hear the TV as he walked passed. There was another loud crack of thunder and Dean felt a pronounced kick. “Hey, it's okay, nothing to worry about, just a storm.” He said soothingly, rubbing his hand over his belly. He made his usual rounds trying to calm his mind and ease his leg cramps. When he got back around to his room, he found Cas standing outside the door exactly as he always did.

He walked into his room and sat on the bed, while Cas hovered at the door. “You can come in.” He said, casually. Cas relaxed a little and walked in.

“Baby's in a kicky mood tonight.” Dean said, with a wince.

“May I?” Cas said, gesturing to Dean's stomach. Dean nodded. Cas sat down next to him and rested his hands carefully over Dean's belly, he felt a kick and smiled. He loved feeling his child move, feeling the start of this tiny little life, getting ready to make its way into the world.

It was remarkable for Dean whenever he saw Cas like this, the joy in his eyes, as his usual sober expression was replaced with something lighter and softer, and it never seemed to get old for him. _I wonder if he'll always look at our kid like that,_ Dean thought, _like it's the most miraculous thing he's ever seen._

Cas pulled his hands away, and straightened slightly, “How are you feeling tonight?”

“Better than last night. I like the rain. It's relaxing.”

“Why did you say I was beautiful?” The words came out of Cas in a rush, like he had been using all of his strength to hold them back and just couldn't anymore.

Dean could feel heat spread up his neck, “What?”

Cas didn't respond, he just kept his eyes on Dean and let the question hang in the air. Dean dug around in his mind for a response, any response, he had been trying all day not to think about that morning and hoping that Cas wouldn't bring it up. He wanted to just make a joke, like he usually did, and move on, but for some reason his mind had gone completely blank. He stared at Cas and Cas just stared right back, obviously waiting for an answer.

“I don't... I don't know.”

Cas turned away, “Okay.” He looked like he wanted to say a million other things, but Dean knew that he wouldn't, because he needed him not to, and it was Cas, and Cas always put him first. Always.

“I'm... uh... I think I'm gonna turn in.”

“I hope you sleep well.” Cas stood up hastily and left.

After the bedroom door closed, Dean stared for a while, contemplating going after him, everything he could have said and probably should have said bubbling up, without warning, from what had been blank. Under normal circumstances he would have downed more than a few glasses of whiskey, passed out, and never mentioned any of this ever again, but with that not being an option, right now all he wanted to do was see Cas or at least know for sure that he was standing at his usual post in the hallway. He got as far as the door, before he hesitated. This was stupid, he was tired and he had other things to think about. _I just need some sleep._ He thought resolutely, slipping out of his plaid shirt and straightening out his t-shirt. He looked at the door one last time and then switched off the light and laid down.

The darkness felt heavy and made the sounds of the storm seem louder. His thoughts raced and he struggled for what felt like hours, seeking a comfortable position, tugging at his clothes and blanket, punching his pillow, and shifting restlessly. Suddenly he felt the bed dip slightly. He didn't even have to open his eyes to know who it was sitting silently on the edge of his bed. Dean stilled, unable to explain the peace that filled him. Before he could stop himself—or maybe he didn't want to stop himself, he couldn't tell right now—he reached out, searching until he found Cas' hand, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world, as he linked their fingers together.

“Because you are.” He whispered.

Cas never answered, he didn't need to, Dean felt him squeeze his hand, and that was all that needed to be said. He settled then into a peaceful sleep, hand in hand with the angel watching over him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Neither Cas nor Dean ever said anything, not to Sam, not to Gabe, not even to each other. They never talked about how, instead of standing guard in the hallway, Cas began spending every night in Dean's room, perched on the side of his bed. They never talked about how Dean struggled to fall asleep without Cas nearby, or how he often fell asleep holding Cas' hand. Days passed and they never said a single word.

Dean didn't want to examine their change in circumstances too closely, with everything that was coming up, he just didn't know if he was ready to deal with everything that this might mean. Cas wasn't in a hurry to scrutinize things either, he didn't want to push, because more than anything he was scared that Dean might change his mind and reject him completely. It was such a foreign thing, this worry, he couldn't remember even thinking about things like this before the Winchester brothers strode into his life and now it trumped even his concern for heaven. They both remained content to just let things be as they were and move on in silence.

* * *

It was now two weeks into Dean's ninth month and things were already a bit of a roller coaster. Gabriel had stopped in for a checkup at the beginning of the month and, much to Dean's dismay, insisted that his visits were now going to be weekly, to keep tabs on the health of Dean and baby, as the estimated delivery date loomed. Also to everyone's surprise Bobby had set Garth up with phones and hunting contacts, and come to stay with the boys to help out. He arrived bearing gifts, a few baby outfits and a multitude of necessary care products from Jody, six packages of diapers and wipes and inexplicably a book of jokes from Garth, and finally, a wooden bassinet that Bobby had made himself, with protection symbols hand carved into the sides. Though they were all shocked, as they admired his work, Bobby was, as always, dismissive of his apparently endless list of phenomenal skills, “Well, I ain't useless, if that's what you mean.”

After helping Dean put the bassinet and other items into his room, Castiel traced the carvings reverently, “Do you think the baby will like it?”

Dean didn't hear him, he was staring at the pile of baby things on his bed and feeling sick. This was actually happening, there was going to be a baby, an actual real life baby, a person, a real little person, who was going to rely on him, there was no question, he was going to be a father, and he realized with swelling panic that he was in no way prepared. He snatched up Gabriel's book from the nightstand and frantically flipped through it, till he found the list that Jody had written up of things the baby would need.

“Dean?”

“We are missing so much shit!” Dean exclaimed, “I mean, look at this, we don't have half the stuff we need!”

Cas tilted his head, “What do you mean?”

“We aren't ready, Cas, I'm not ready!” Dean was already racing down the hallway. He swung into the den, where Bobby and Sam were drinking coffee and discussing some of the things that Sam had found throughout the bunker. “We need to go shopping!” Dean half yelled, wide eyed and angry, before spinning around and heading back down the hall. Sam hurried after him, “Dean, wait a sec! What are you talking about?”

“Look at all of this stuff, Sammy!” Dean shoved the list into Sam's chest. “We don't have anything! I mean, holy fuck, we aren't ready!”

By this time, Dean was practically hyperventilating. Cas stood nearby, looking to Sam for guidance, concern etched across his face.

“Okay, okay, it's okay.” Sam said, glancing over the list and then folding it carefully. “How about we go shopping tomorrow and get everything we need? We can even take Bobby's truck.”

Dean's face was turning red and he looked a little like he might pass out. “But what about? I mean... we don't... we're not ready!”

Bobby stepped up in front of him and put his hands on Dean's shoulders, “We'll be ready, boy. Now come on and sit down, before one of us has to carry you.” Despite still looking thoroughly panicked, Dean nodded. As Bobby walked him back into the den to sit down, Sam stepped up next to Cas and nudged his arm. “Don't worry, Cas, he's okay.”

“We are missing quite a few necessary items.”

Sam laughed lightly, “Yeah, we are, but I don't think that's the problem.” Cas looked even more concerned. “No, no, it's not bad, I think it's just hitting him that the baby is gonna be here in a few weeks.”

“I suppose that is rather overwhelming.”

Sam smiled, “Yes it is.”

* * *

The next day they ended up having to drive more than two hours to find a store that carried everything they needed. Dean never would have thought in a million years that he would find himself willingly perusing aisle after aisle of baby stuff. They had been able to pick out a car seat fairly quickly, because Sam had spent the evening before doing research on the safest ones, but the sheer number of choices for strollers, swings, and everything else was staggering. Now they were all four standing in the bottle and formula aisle, gaping at the wall of choices. “God, I thought there would be like... two. I mean what the hell does any of this even mean?” Dean said, picking up one of the at least forty different bottles, as Sam crouched down next to him, reading labels.

“Does a baby truly need all of this?” Cas asked, bewildered, as he carefully studied the many brands of formula on the opposite shelf.

“Maybe we should just get one of everything.” Bobby said, pulling off his hat and scratching his head.

“Excuse me, sir, can I help you find something?

Dean turned around and the petite brown haired store clerk flushed a rather bright shade of red upon noticing his obvious belly. “Oh um... excuse me, sorry. Ma'am.” She looked back at Dean's face, “Oh.... uh... sir?” She paused, adjusting her glasses, looking so flustered that Dean almost felt sorry for her. She took a deep breath, “I'm sorry. Is there anything that I can help you find?”

“I don't know. You?” Dean swatted at Sam's shoulder and Sam stood up, “What's the best bottle for newborns?” He asked, gesturing to the wall of bottles.

“Well, it really depends on the baby, some are picky and some don't mind anything, but these are some of our most highly recommended brands, and this here...” She pointed to a box on the top shelf, “is actually a newborn starter kit that has a few different kinds of bottles and nipples, so you can figure out what works best.”

“Perfect. Thanks.” Sam said, pulling the box down, glancing over it before putting it in the cart.

“Is there anything else you need?”

Bobby spoke up from behind Sam, “Could you tell us what the hell a boppy is?”

The store clerk smiled, “Yes, of course, they are special pillows that help support the baby for feeding and they're right over here.”

They followed her three aisles over and Dean smirked, realizing that they must be quite a sight, four rough looking guys, with a cart full of baby items, asking about things like boppy pillows, and that isn't even counting the whole pregnant man thing. He looked over and noticed that Cas was sporting an intense frown and eyeing the store clerk suspiciously. Dean grabbed his sleeve, stopping him, “Something wrong?”

“I don't like her.”

Dean would have laughed, if Cas didn't look quite so much like he was ready to smite the woman right where she stood. “Alright, well, keep an eye on her, but just don't kill her till we get checked out.” Cas gave him a questioning look, but Dean just turned and followed after the others.

They left the store with a truly ridiculous amount of baby necessities, “Who knew baby's needed so much crap.” Sam said, as he finished loading the last of it into Bobby's truck. “Yeah.” Dean said absently, turning a baby toy over and over in his hand. Even though it was a relief to have everything the baby would need, it did little to calm the fear that was still sitting on his chest like an elephant. It had taken nearly losing his life for him to even begin to accept and embrace the pregnancy, and that was almost over. It was a matter of weeks now, not months, _weeks_ , and something huge was going to happen. He had been to hell and back... literally, but this still felt like the biggest change of his life. It wasn't like he hadn't known what was going to happen, he wasn't stupid, but somehow it didn't really register, until right now. He wasn't backing out or anything, he just... wasn't... ready.

* * *

For the fourth time in so many days Dean was up late, pacing the den. He had started sleeping in his chair, unable to bring himself to stay in his room, to look at the bassinet, at all of those baby things, because every time he did, he felt like he couldn't breathe. Bobby had tried to talk to him. Cas had tried to talk to him. Now apparently it was Sam's turn.

“Hey Cas, you mind giving us a second.”

“Of course not.” Cas nodded at them both and ducked out of the room.

“Sit down.” Sam said, gesturing to Dean's chair.

“Let me save you the trouble, Sammy. I'm fine.”

“Oh come on, Dean, we both know that's bullshit, now sit down.” Dean scowled at him, but sat anyway. “Look, I know you've been through a lot and all of this must seem pretty overwhelming...”

“Sam... I'm not...”

“Would you just shut up and let me finish!” Dean rolled his eyes, but Sam forged ahead, “I know you don't want to talk, but whatever you're feeling, I told you we're in this together, so you don't have to carry all this crap alone, okay?”

“Are you finished?”

“Yeah, I'm finished.”

“Good, because you don't have any fucking clue about any of this and all your touchy feely shit isn't gonna do a damn thing, so I would appreciate it if all of you would just back the hell off!”

“You're right, okay? I've never been through what you're going through, but, Dean, I get it, you're freaked about being a dad, anyone would be!”

Dean laughed mirthlessly, “You don't know anything about me.”

“Come on, Dean, quit being an asshole and just talk to me!”

“And why don't you go fuck yourself and leave me alone.”

Sam shook his head and stood. “Fine. Whatever.” He turned and stormed out.

Dean knew he was being an asshole, he knew he had been treating everyone badly, Cas worst of all, as he still refused to leave his side. Dean felt angry and sad and scared and a hundred other things that he couldn't put his finger on. For the first time since those demons had taken him he secretly wished the baby would disappear and things could get back to normal, or whatever the hell they were before. He felt horrible for even thinking that way, in fact, he wasn't even sure that was how he really felt, but he just wasn't ready for any of this. For the baby, for... Cas.

* * *

Ignoring Cas who had quietly slipped back into the room, Dean reached for the TV remote, when suddenly he was hit with exhaustion so forcefully that he barely had a chance to settle back into the chair before his eyes closed and sleep took over.

The walls were covered in ugly floral wallpaper and he could hear music. _That's music, right? Yeah. Music. Definitely music. Where is that coming from? It sounds familiar. I know this song._ He walked around the room, the walls were lined end to end with tables covered in all different kinds of pies, all of them hot and steaming, fresh out of the oven. He heard a laugh and turned, “Cas?” But the angel didn't turn around, he was standing in front of a sink, barefooted, wearing jeans and an old t-shirt that was too big for him, “Cas?!” The angel turned to the side and Dean felt a little flutter in his chest, Cas was wearing one of his old t-shirts and his face was lit up with the biggest grin. He couldn't seem to see Dean, as he bent down and opened his arms, just then a child ran into the room and right into Cas' waiting arms. Dean startled, he couldn't get his eyes to focus on the child, they were just a blur, but god, Cas looked so happy. The image began to fade, until it was just that ugly wallpaper. “Hey, wait!” Dean tried to reach the wall, but it kept moving away from him. He heard a click and spun around.

“Finally, we can talk!”

Gabriel was reclining in a lounge chair with a remote in his hand, aimed at the wall that Dean had just been chasing.

“What the hell are...?” Realization dawned and Dean's hands balled into fists, “I'm dreaming, right?”

“Ten points to gruff and angry!”

“Gabriel, I am not in the mood for this.”

Gabe stood and walked up to Dean, “Let's get one thing straight here, bucko. Little Cassibelle may respect your feelings and put up with your moody ass, but this Archangel,” Gabriel pointed to himself, “He don't give a shit. So stuff the attitude and enjoy the show.”

“What? What show?”

Gabriel clicked another button on the remote and suddenly Dean was sitting in the lounge chair and watching the wall, as it began to form new colors and shapes. Sam. He could see his brother standing under a tree. Sitting on his shoulders was the same blurry image of a child that he had seen before, Dean tried to focus, but the child remained shrouded. The child was reaching up toward the tree and he could hear Sam's voice, “Can you reach it? Little higher. Got it? YEAH!”

Dean scooted forwards trying to get a better look, but as he did the scene changed. He instantly recognized the desk and piles of books and papers. Bobby's house. Bobby was leaning over the desk, writing something and Jody was sitting in the desk chair, the blurry image of the child sitting on her lap. Bobby straightened and held up the piece of paper, “What's this?” There was no response that Dean could hear, but suddenly both Bobby and Jody started clapping, “Great job!” Jody said, with a laugh. “Your daddies better watch out, they got a genius on their hands.”

_Daddies? Plural? So is that?_

The scene changed again and this time Dean was looking at himself, a little older, under the hood of the Impala. This other Dean stood up, “Okay. Try her again.” The Impala stuttered a few times, but didn't start. “Aw, come on Baby, don't be like that.” He grabbed another tool and leaned back under the hood, then stood back again, "Hopefully that'll do it. Try her again.” The Impala roared to life and he let the hood down, then Dean could see that same blurry image stepping out of the car. The child was taller now than they had been in the other scenes. Dean squinted, trying desperately to make the image more detailed. “You got it working!" Cas was walking up to the two of them, he wasn't older, but he looked... different. His hair was a little shorter, his posture was looser, and he was wearing jeans and a plaid shirt. “You two and that car.” He said fondly, shaking his head. Then he slipped an arm around the other Dean's waist and pecked him on the lips.

Dean sucked in a breath, the whole exchange looked completely relaxed, as Cas kept his arm slung around the older Dean's waist and leaned into him, it looked completely normal, like it was an everyday occurrence. It looked like they were all talking about something, but it was garbled. It looked like, dear god, they looked... like a family. Dean heard another click and the scene faded, revealing again the ugly wallpaper. He tensed, remembering that he wasn't alone and of all the people to see that little show, he couldn't imagine anyone worse than Gabriel. Dean stood, immediately defensive, “What is your problem? Why are you making up all this shit?”

Gabe was sipping from a glass of champagne and honestly, looked more annoyed than anything else. He didn't even seem surprised by what had just happened. He rolled his eyes, “Listen pal, the only reason I'm here, is because I have spent the last four days with my brother, your sasquatch, and the old hat guy clogging up my phone lines, because they are _SO_ worried about Dean.”

“So?”

“Well, I figured you're worried about the future, so I let you catch a little glimpse. Great, huh.”

“What? What do you...” Gabe held up a hand silencing Dean, “That's right, sports fans! I didn't make up a single moment of that disgustingly delightful spectacle.” Gabe's expression softened a little, “Listen... Dean... you're freaking out, I get that, it's a lot, but it's okay. Of course, I also know that you don't think it's okay, because you can't even imagine that something good could possibly happen in your astoundingly screwed up life. I mean, I thought I was messed up about family, but you, my friend, take the cake.

They stared at each other for a moment, until Gabriel rolled his eyes again. “And yes, I know about you and Cas and your _'profound bond'_ ," He sighed emphatically, "Like that's news to anyone.” Dean's face flushed. “Oh, let it go, everybody knows! How did I ever get so caught up with you people? Anyway, it's time to wake up, but before you do, I was thinking, I know you could use a little cheering up, so you still want to know the gender?"

"Yeah."

"Well... today is your lucky day. You're having a..."

Dean's eye's flew open and he sat up with a start, looking around the den.

“MOTHERFUCK... THAT'S NOT FUNNY!”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Though Dean would never admit it, least of all to Gabriel, he actually did feel better after their dream conversation. Mostly because he couldn't seem to get the images he'd seen out of his mind, it was so intense, getting to see everything he had never allowed himself to think about, to even begin to hope for. _I'm a Winchester and Winchester's don't get to be happy, they just don't._ But there it was anyway, the idea that he could be happy, that the people he loves could be happy. Obviously he didn't know if Gabriel was telling the truth about those images actually being snapshots of his future, in fact, he was inclined to believe the Archangel had been lying. It didn't matter, they were still burned into his brain and every time they passed like wisps across his vision, he realized with growing determination, that whether or not it was his 'destiny', he wanted that, all of it. Now granted, he still had moments of sheer uninhibited panic, when he was fairly certain he would rather be facing down a giant world ending monster than facing parenthood. In fact, sometimes it was downright humorous, how he could be so unaffected by all the horror he had faced almost daily for the better part of his life, but the sight of a tiny little yellow onesie could make him feel like throwing up.

“Ugh.” Dean grimaced, pressing a hand against his lower back.

“You okay?” Bobby asked, from across the library.

“Yeah, just haven't been able to shake this back ache.”

“You should ask Cas for a massage.” Sam chimed in, trying to hide his smile behind the book he was reading. Bobby snorted and Dean was thankful Cas had popped out for a minute to grab lunch for everyone. “Pregnant or not, Sammy, I will kick your ass.”

Cas came back with lunch and the four of them sat down to eat. Dean poked at the food with his fork, but couldn't really bring himself to take more than a few bites. The day wore on and Dean gave up hanging out with the others and parked himself in the den. He tried everything, but couldn't get rid of the pain in his back. Cas was sitting in his usual spot on the couch, nearest Dean's chair, watching him with a concerned expression—sometimes Dean wondered if concerned was becoming his default expression—and kept twitching whenever he tried to adjust into a more comfortable position. “Are you still in pain?”

“I'm fine, it's coming and going.” Dean sighed and scooted out of the chair, “Of course, if I could stop having to pee every thirty fuckin seconds, I'd be great.”

Dinner that evening wasn't much different from lunch, Dean still wasn't really hungry, especially since his backache had started causing weird cramping feelings. “That's crap!” Sam exclaimed, “It was like four at least! Dean come on, you were there. That bar in Cincinnati, there were like four or five demons, right?”

“You're right, Sam, I was there, and there were two, and I had to take down both of em while you were unconscious on the floor.” Sam pulled a face and Dean and Bobby both laughed. “Alright, you sit there and pout, I'm gonna take a leak... again.” Dean went to stand, “Ooh.” He paused and hunched over, as he felt a wave of pain in his abdomen.

Cas was at his side in a moment, “Dean?”

“Are you okay?” Sam asked, “What's wrong?”

Dean exhaled heavily, until the pain eased. “I don't know, just got a weird cramp in my stomach.”

“A cramp?” Sam asked, “Is this the first one?”

“No, I don't know, I've been having them for a few hours, it's just cause my back is messed up.”

“Dean!” Sam said, alarmed.

“What?”

“It sounds like your having contractions!”

“What?! I'm not...”

“Cas you need to call Gabe.” Sam said, interrupting him. Cas nodded and before Dean could say anything else, he was laying on the couch in the den, with Gabriel standing over him. Gabe placed a hand over Dean's stomach and he felt a familiar warmth flood through his body. Cas, Bobby, and Sam were looking on anxiously. When Gabriel lifted his hand away, Cas hurried over and helped Dean sit up.

“Well, your brother was right on the money, you're in labor.”

“What?! I thought I had another week!”

“Hey, that was just a guess, besides since when do Winchester's do anything according to plan.”

“What do we need to do?” Sam asked, stepping up next to Gabriel.

“Right now? Nothing.”

“But I thought you said...”

“Yes, he's in labor, but he's still got a long way to go, the contractions are still pretty far apart and the grace hasn't even come close to starting the creation of the birth canal.”

Dean lost all color at that. “The what?!” He croaked.

“The birth canal.” Gabe said, like it was obvious. “That'll be the last step before the birth.” Dean looked like he was going to pass out. “I told you about this before. It's in the book.”

“No, it's not! All you said was the grace would handle it.”

“And what did you think that meant?”

“So... I'm gonna have to...” Dean gestured to his crotch. Gabe ignored him and continued, “Keep track of the contractions, let me know when they get to 5 minutes apart." He looked at Cas, "For now, keep him distracted and make sure he gets rest in between.” Then he clapped Dean—who still looked thoroughly horrified—on the shoulder, “Relax and remember, women do this all the time. See ya in a few.” With that he vanished.

They all looked at each other and no one spoke, until Dean turned to Cas, his voice weak, “Birth... canal?”

* * *

The contractions continued, as the hours passed at an achingly slow pace. Dean would have been panicking, he wanted to panic, but he was too busy working through the surprisingly painful jolts to his body that were coming now every 20 minutes and worrying about how the hell he was supposed to give birth. His family was trying everything to distract him, Bobby called Jody (per her insistence) to let her know that Dean had started labor. “Try to rest, okay, save your energy, breathe really deep during the contractions, and try to focus on other things. You're gonna make it, you hear me?”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear you.”

“And Dean, let him help. I know you want to be macho and everything, but he probably feels pretty helpless, so just... let him help, okay?"

“Yeah, okay, thanks.” Dean handed the phone back to Bobby. He groaned and closed his eyes, feeling the beginning of another contraction.

“Do you need anything? Can I get you anything?”

This had to be at least the fiftieth time Cas had asked him that in just the past hour and if it wasn't Cas, it was Sam, who was hovering around him like a nervous mother hen. Dean was glad for the calming presence of Bobby, who, in characteristic manner, seemed only moderately affected by the days events.

They tried to talk, but Dean just wanted everyone to shut up, so Dean suggested they watch a movie, which helped a little, aside from the fact that half way through he still felt like hitting someone. The strength and pain of the contractions was steadily getting worse, though they were still only 15 minutes apart when it got late enough that Bobby suggested everyone get some sleep. “Come get us if anything changes, or it gets to time.” Bobby said to Cas as he practically pushed Sam out the door.

Dean tried laying down in his room, he knew he should sleep, both Jody and Gabriel had said to rest, to conserve his energy, but he was in pain and anxious. “I'm gonna walk around for a bit.”

"Alright." Cas said with a nod, then helped Dean up and stayed by his side.

“You know you don't have to... ugh!” Dean hunched slightly, grabbed Cas' sleeve, and held on as he waited out the contraction. When it eased Cas was studying his face, worried, “It has only been 13 minutes since the last one. They are getting closer together.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock.”

Cas slid his arm under Dean's, supporting him as they continued down the hallway together. While they walked, for the first time, Dean noticed how wide Cas' eyes were and wondered if maybe this whole time the angel had been panicking just as much as him. _Do angels even panic? Is that possible?_

“Cas, you okay?”

“Yes, I'm just beginning to better understand your sentiment about not being ready.”

Dean huffed a laugh, then winced. This was going to be loads of fun.

* * *

Laying down again, Dean kept his eyes closed, trying to force himself to rest, it was early in the morning now and the contractions were 11 minutes apart. The waiting was horrible, it felt something like waiting to be tortured, you can see it coming, you know it's gonna hurt like hell, but you can't avoid it. His thoughts kept flip-flopping between _I can't believe it, I am finally gonna get to meet my kid!_ and _dear god, what the hell am I doing?!_ It seemed like only yesterday that he was puking his guts out, completely unaware of the tiny little life that would turn his world upside down. He sat up slightly and rested his head against the wall.

“Are you alright?”

Cas had been keeping track of the contractions from his usual spot, seated on the edge of the bed. Now he was looking at Dean, his eyebrows knitted together. _Holy fuck, how many times is he gonna ask that?_ Dean was about to say something when he remembered what Jody had said, he sighed, “I'm okay, Cas, just ready for this to go ahead and get rolling, you know.” Dean paused for a second, “I am kinda thirsty though, could you get me some water or juice or something?” Cas looked like Dean had just given him the most important task ever given to man or angel, he immediately disappeared and reappeared a couple of minutes later with a tray of cups, one had ice water, one seltzer water, and one room temperature water, along with five different kinds of pulpless juices. He held the tray in front of Dean.

“Wow. Um. Thanks.”

“You're welcome, Dean.”

After Dean had selected something to drink, Cas set the tray on the nightstand. “Do you need anything else?”

“Nah, I think I'm good.”

Dean sipped on the various juices and a little of the ice water, before settling back in to get through another contraction. After it passed, he scooted back down on the bed, “Hey, could you grab the pillows for me?” Cas nodded and walked across the room, he picked up the pillows stacked on a shelf in the corner, and then arranged them around Dean's torso, supporting his belly and back.

“Thanks.”

Cas smiled. It was still rare, seeing that expression on his face, and it always managed to give Dean butterflies, the way nothing else could. He reached over and flicked Cas' arm. The angel looked at him confused, Dean just smiled, “Almost time.” He said with a smirk, then grabbed Cas' hand and settled it over his belly, locking their fingers together, before closing his eyes again. 

“Almost time.” Cas echoed quietly.

* * *

Dean was pacing the library, just trying to move around, as the contractions were now 7 minutes apart and really fucking painful. “Son of a bitch!” Dean gritted out, catching the edge of the table to keep his balance. “Bad one?” Bobby asked, walking into the room. Dean nodded, but didn't respond, focusing on breathing. About a minute later, when the contraction eased, he swiped his sleeve across his brow and groaned. “Oh yeah, nothing quite like feelin like your gettin stabbed every few minutes to wake a guy up in the morning.”

Bobby chuckled, “Well, your doin good.”

It wasn't even an hour later and the contractions were coming only 6 minutes apart. Dean was sitting in the den with Cas, while Bobby and Sam were in the kitchen. “It's like waiting for a bomb to go off.” Sam said, tapping his fingers anxiously against the beer bottle in his hand. He started to stand, “We should get back in there.”

“Hey, sit your ass down and drink your beer. Cas'll let us know if anything changes and the last thing your brother needs is all of us standin around starin at him.”

Sam sighed. He knew Bobby was right, but he couldn't help feeling like there was more he should be doing. He was nervous for Dean, for everything that he still had to go through, but he also couldn't deny that he was really excited, he was looking forwards to the role of uncle.

“So I guess that would make you grandpa.” Sam said, thinking out loud.

“What?”

“To the baby, if I'm uncle, then you'd be grandpa?”

Bobby sipped his beer, “I can live with that.”

About twenty minutes later, Cas appeared suddenly in the kitchen, looking startled, “FOUR MINUTES! FOUR MINUTES!” He yelled before disappearing again. Sam and Bobby jumped up and took off for the den. Gabriel was already there when they arrived, with his eyes closed and one hand hovering over Dean's belly. He smiled when he opened his eyes. “Places, everyone. It's showtime.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! It's finally here! *dances* 
> 
> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> WARNING: semi graphic birth, nothing too much, but just know it's not gonna be like *POOF* "Oh look, a baby!".

Everyone followed Gabriel down the hall, until he stopped at a door that led into a mostly empty storage room, “Alright, boys and girls, let's do this.” He snapped his fingers and then swung the door open. The room they stepped into was spacious, with wood paneling all the way around, it looked vaguely like the inside of a sauna. The room was well lit, but not from any apparent source, and in the middle of the room, built into the floor was what looked like either a massive bathtub or a small swimming pool, already filled with water. “Whaddya think? Been workin on this one for a while.”

Dean looked around the room confused, “A pool?”

"I know, isn't it great?! I can make the water temp whatever you want.”

“But... a pool?”

“Oh trust me, kid, you'll be glad for that water.”

Dean stared at Gabe suspiciously, but it wasn't like he had much choice, and despite Gabriel's insistence on being a total dick most of the time, as far as the baby was concerned he had actually been pretty helpful. Dean grimaced, feeling another contraction starting. He grabbed Sam's arm and Cas' shoulder, holding on and breathing till it passed. “Okay, tick tock, time to get ready.” Gabe said, tapping his wrist like a watch.

Bobby who had been standing behind everyone, in the doorway, walked up to Dean, squeezed his arm and patted his face, “I'm gonna wait outside, but I'm proud of you, boy. Just gotta get through this.”

Dean smiled. “Thanks, Bobby.”

Bobby turned and walked out, shutting the door behind him. Dean looked at Sam, who was still tapping his fingers nervously against his leg (something he had started doing when the contractions began), but Sam just shook his head stubbornly, “No way, I'm not goin anywhere... jerk.”

“Bitch.” Dean muttered, with a smile. Then he took a deep breath and looked at Gabe, “Okay, what now?”

Gabe snapped his fingers and Dean was sitting in the pool, stark naked, he startled and backed up against the wall of the pool, “What the hell, man!?”

“Oh relax.” Gabe threw a towel at him and Dean quickly covered himself, “It's not like you can give birth through your pants.”

Dean glared at Gabe, but he had to admit, the warm water did feel pretty good. The water came up to just over his belly sitting down and the soft floor and walls of the pool were a lot more comfortable than any of the chairs or beds they owned. He would die before he ever said it out loud, but, in spite of his multitude of annoying traits, Dean was thankful for Gabriel and all of his help. Sam and Cas were standing next to the pool, both wearing just swim trunks and Dean couldn't help but chuckle, Cas looked so different without the suit and trench coat, it made him think about the Cas he had seen in his dream, wearing his t-shirt, looking so happy.

Gabriel talked with Sam and Cas, while Dean worked through another contraction, then he walked up and sat down at the side of the pool, across from Dean, letting his feet hang into the water, he was now also wearing swim trunks and a tank top that had 'Trust Me, I'm A Doctor” printed on the front. “Okay, Deano, here's the skinny, the contractions you've been having, they've been softening up bone, stretching out muscle, and all the other fancy prepping your body needs for the big finish, but now that we're heading into the final lap, the grace is gonna start creating the birth canal which will open up behind the twins, and those contractions are gonna be a little bit worse than what you've experienced so far. And before you ask, I won't be able to do anything for the pain, cause the grace is as charged up now as it's gonna get. You can find whatever position works best to get through the contractions, but when it's baby time Cas is gonna help you get into the proper...”

“I'm not gonna need any help.” Dean said, because being naked, in a pool, with Cas, was just not something he was ready for. Gabriel just smirked, “Yeah, of course you won't. Anyway, right now, Sam'll be in charge of cool cloths, ice chips, sips of water, just about anything to make you feel more comfortable, I can adjust the lights, water temp, whatever, as we go along, and Cassie is...” He looked at Cas and smirked, “...moral support.”

Gabe stood up when Dean exhaled heavily with the start of another contraction, and pulled Castiel and Sam to the side, speaking in a hushed voice, “Listen guys, he's almost there, and it's important that you both stay calm, speak softly, and just focus on keeping Dean on track. AKA: if one of you yells or faints, I will personally ensure that your death is slow and painful, got it?” Both of them nodded.

Dean was surprised as he watched Gabriel, his usually cheerful, sarcastic demeanor, gradually being replaced with one of solemnity and careful resolve, it reminded Dean of how Gabriel had been when they faced down Lucifer, and fuck, if that fact alone didn't make Dean feel more than a little apprehensive.

After a few more contractions that didn't feel any different, Dean was done with this, he was embarrassed, sitting naked, surrounded by three other guys, who were all just standing around waiting. He wanted out right then and there, “This is stupid.” He said, as he moved towards the edge of the tub, “I'm tired of being in this fucking pool.” Just as he reached the side and started to pull himself up, another contraction hit, but this one was definitely different. A pain ripped through him that was unlike anything he had experienced before, he quickly lost any sense of dignity or modesty that he might have had. Letting go of the towel, he struggled to keep a grip on the lip of the pool, and called for Cas, who instantly appeared behind him, catching him around the chest, just as he dropped backwards, his mind going blank with the pain. It was safe to say that it felt EXACTLY like someone was slowly digging a hole into his body. When the contraction finally broke, he went limp, melting back against Cas' solid weight, grateful for the angel's arm holding him up like a steel girder.

“A _BIT_ worse!?” Dean spat, panting and still leaning heavily against Cas.

Gabriel shrugged, “What? Would you've preferred 'agonizing', 'torturous'? How about 'brain searing'?"

An hour and a multitude of horrible, 'dear god, please let me die', contractions later and Dean had found the position that was the most comfortable—or perhaps the least uncomfortable—he was on his knees, facing the wall of the pool, his arms folded against the edge. After getting through another contraction, he was sweating profusely and trying to get his breathing to even out. When he rested his head down on his arms, Sam draped a cool towel across his neck. “More ice chips?” Dean grunted his assent and Sam picked up the little cup next to him. Dean tilted his head back and took a couple of sips, then settled back against his arms and sucked on the ice. Sam was sitting cross-legged in front of Dean, trying to force him to suck on ice, as he refused to drink any water, while Gabriel, who had dimmed the lights a little at Dean's request, was sitting on a bench behind Sam, reading a magazine.

Cas was by Dean's side in the water, keeping a comforting hand on his back. He was struggling more and more with every contraction, he felt guilty and he had so much that he wanted to say to Dean. He wanted to beg his forgiveness for this whole mess, he wanted to tell him that he is the most amazing man who has ever walked the earth, he wanted to tell him how beautiful he is, how much he has taught him, how much he means to everyone, how much he deserves happiness, and how much he wants to give him that, but more than anything he wanted to thank him for going through all of this, for enduring so much to bring their child into the world, but he had no idea where to even start. Cas was shaken from his thoughts as he felt the muscles in Dean's back tightening again.

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, as another contraction began. He scooted back, so he could lean over slightly, but still keep a hold on the edge of the pool. Cas moved away, but kept his hands up, ready to catch him again if needed. However, the contraction broke fairly quickly, as a white light flashed through the water. “What the fuck was that?!” Dean said, looking up.

Gabriel was already standing, “That would be the grace finishing up. Sit down, cause you're not gonna have long before this party gets started, and I need to find the birth canal and make sure everything's cool, okay?”

Dean was mildly horrified on principle alone, but nodded and turned to sit anyway, he was just too tired to give a shit anymore. Gabe stood in front of him, in the water, put on medical exam gloves, then felt around cautiously till he found the now present birth canal. After he found it and seemed satisfied that everything was good, he moved his hand over Dean's abdomen and closed his eyes. A second later he ordered Cas to help get Dean ready. Cas silently positioned himself behind Dean, with Dean sitting between his legs and leaning back against his chest. Gabe snapped his fingers and immediately there were two places for Dean to position his feet, pushing his knees slightly up and apart. When Gabe spoke again, his voice was commanding, “Okay, Dean, when the urge to push hits, do not try to fight it.”

“The what?”

Gabriel never answered, but it didn't matter, a few seconds later, Dean knew exactly what he meant, and holy shit, he wasn't kidding. The urge was incredibly powerful and the pain was excruciating. He could feel Sam slide down into the water next to him, but it took him a minute to register his brothers voice, “Dean, breathe, breathe, you have to breathe.” He hadn't even realized he was holding his breath, but when he tried to inhale it didn't work, he was just gasping, the pain was too intense, soon the world started to spin, this was too much, he couldn't do this. Suddenly Dean felt now familiar hands slip into his own, grasping them firmly, “Dean, stay with me. Breathe.” The gravelly voice cut through everything and stilled him for a moment, he knew that voice, “Cas...” He heaved in a deep breath, as his world came rushing back into focus, he lurched up, gripping Cas' hands like life preservers, and screamed at the top of his lungs, “I... HATE... YOU!!”

If Sam hadn't been so consumed with worry right at that moment (and if he'd been sure that Dean wouldn't reach over and disembowel him with his bare hands), he would have laughed. Dean was trying desperately to control his breathing, really only sufficing to suck air into his lungs in between screams, his face and chest were red, and he was holding onto Cas' hands with a death grip that Sam was sure would have broken them if Cas weren't an angel. All the while Castiel was a rock, staying quiet and still, carefully keeping Dean in the proper position. _These two._ Sam thought with a smirk.

“Here we go, almost there, PUSH!”

Dean pitched forward, gritting his teeth, and digging his fingers into Cas' hands, and just when he didn't think he could take another second, it happened, a glimmer of light danced through the water and the pain fell away. Relief swept over Dean like a wave, breathing hard, he dropped back against Cas, letting his eyes close and his head fall back onto Cas' shoulder. When he heard Gabe moving around, his head shot back up and he looked around frantically, “Wh... where?” Then Gabriel was crossing back to him and he heard Castiel gasp softly. Gabe was holding a tiny, wrinkly, squishy looking thing, covered in goop. He carefully set the baby in Dean's arms and smiled in a gentle way that Dean had never seen before, “Dean, Cas, meet your daughter.”

“Daughter? My... Cas... our... it's a girl...” Dean's voice broke. “God, look at her.” He felt so overwhelmed that he wanted to cry, or maybe he was already crying, he didn't care, because look at her, she was real, she was chubby and pink, and already had a mop of dark hair just like Cas. He smiled, feeling the tears on his face, everything about her was perfect.

* * *

 Bobby was waiting restlessly in the hallway outside. He had moved a chair so he could sit while he waited, but that only lasted for a while and for the last twenty minutes he had just been pacing up and down the length of the hall. He'd thought a few times about going in, but knew that he would probably only be in the way. Too many cooks and all that. For a long time there was nothing more than the muffled sounds of talking and movement, but then there was a lot of screaming, a LOT of screaming, and then silence. He hurried over when the door opened and Sam slipped out, grinning like an idiot. “Well?” he asked eagerly. Sam just grinned even wider, his eyes glassy with tears, “It's a girl.” Bobby pulled his hat off and slapped it against his leg, before wrapping up the soaking wet Sam in a hug. When he stepped back, he looked over at the door, “Everything good? Dean okay?” Sam nodded, “Yeah, she's good and Dean's good, Gabe is fixing him up right now.” As Sam was talking, they heard a baby start crying.

Dean was still in the pool, still leaning against Cas, still holding his daughter, she had started crying, but Gabriel said it was good, that she was just exercising her lungs, and Dean didn't mind anyway. As Dean held her close and softly shushed her, Gabe put his hand on Dean's stomach and white light spread through the water again. It took a couple of minutes, but after repairing Dean's body to the extent that he could, Gabe snapped his fingers and the four of them were in Dean's bedroom, everyone was clean, dry, and dressed, including the baby, who was swaddled in a soft plaid blanket with a little white hat on her head. Dean was sitting on the bed, leaning back against a bunch of pillows, he didn't feel any more pain, just an intense soreness and an incredible exhaustion. The baby had stopped crying, she was just wriggling around a bit, then seemed to settle and fall asleep. Even as exhausted as he was, Dean was mesmerized.

“You need to get some rest.” Gabe said, with a smile, holding out his arms for the baby. “Don't worry, she'll be here when you wake up.” Dean reluctantly nodded and gingerly handed the baby over. Cas helped Dean get situated and comfortable in bed, then cautiously approached Gabriel, staring wide eyed and silent at his new daughter. Gabe looked at Cas warmly, then shifted the baby over and gently arranged her in Cas' arms. “Congratulations little bro.”

Dean watched the smile form on Castiel's lips and saw the glint of tears in his eyes, as he gazed down at his daughter with a look of such unspeakable adoration. _Like she's the most miraculous thing he's ever seen._ Dean thought, with a smile. He watched them, until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore and finally let himself drop off to sleep.

“Here.” Gabriel snapped his fingers and a rocking chair appeared in the corner of the room, next to the bassinet. “I'll check in and keep the others out for a bit.” He patted Cas on the shoulder and then disappeared. Reappearing outside Dean's room, where Sam and Bobby were waiting. “How is he? How's the baby?” Sam asked anxiously. “They're fine, everybody's good.” Sam started for the door, but Gabriel stopped him, “Hold up there samsquatch, mommy dearest is asleep and needs to stay that way, so Cas is gonna keep an eye on him and the tiny one, and you're gonna have to wait.”

Sam and Bobby both looked disappointed, but let Gabriel herd them down the hall to the library, where they all sat at the big table. "It's hard to believe, Dean and Cas are parents." Sam said, leaning back in his chair.

"Oh, balls!" Bobby exclaimed, standing quickly and pulling out his cellphone. "I was supposed to call Jody!"

Sam smiled, "She's gonna kill you."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

He flipped open his phone and dialed. Gabriel and Sam both started laughing, when they could hear Jody yelling all the way across the room. Bobby walked back and set his phone on the table. "Well, she's a little excited, but she can't get off work for at least a week, so we're supposed to send lots of pictures and call the second they decide on a name."

"Dean and Cas... parents." Sam said again, blowing out a breath. "Parents."

* * *

Castiel had barely heard a word his brother had said, he was too absorbed with the bundle sleeping soundly in his arms, spellbound by every little noise she made, every little movement. He only glanced up when he heard Dean sigh in his sleep, he was glad to see his hunter could get some much needed rest, it had been a long couple of days, especially for Dean.

It was amazing and wonderful, holding his daughter, he could feel traces of his own grace in her, a subtle glow, like an angelic fingerprint, and just standing there with her, he felt whole, like she was a piece of himself that he had never known was missing. It was the same feeling that he had gotten the day he met her father. He walked over to the rocking chair and sat down, then pulled her closer and kissed her tenderly on the forehead, he smiled when she made a little noise and stretched, opening her eyes for just a second. As he rocked slowly back and forth, Cas wondered how he could have never wanted this before, how he could have possibly not known that this was exactly how it was supposed to be, right in this moment, looking down at his beautiful daughter, he felt ridiculous for ever wanting anything else.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little note at the end of the chapter, but don't skip there, cause spoiler warning! 
> 
> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

When Dean woke up, Castiel was still holding their daughter, sitting across the room in a rocking chair that Dean didn't remember owning. He kept still, taking in the sight of Cas, who had their daughter curled lovingly against his chest and was still staring at her, like he was trying to memorize every little detail. The whole pregnancy felt like a big, crazy dream, but this, right here, this was definitely something he could get used to waking up to. It felt strange to even let himself think like that, think about a stupid, mushy, happy ending, the kind of ending he always pretended to hate. When Dean finally shifted, Cas looked up. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. How's she?”

“Sleeping, mostly. I believe she was tired as well.”

Dean smiled, “How long have I been out?”

“About an hour.”

When Dean sat up, he winced at the soreness, and instinctively rested a hand on his stomach, but there was no more bump, in fact, thanks to Gabe, it felt almost entirely like it always had, he couldn't explain the empty feeling or the twinge of loss. “Hey, can I?” He gestured to the baby. He was anxious to hold her again, to have her in his arms, to see her face. Cas nodded, “Of course.” He stood, crossed to the bed, and shifted her into Dean's arms.

“Hey...” Dean said with a smile, stroking her cheek lightly with his thumb. “Guess we need to decide on a name, huh?”

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“Well...” Dean was embarrassed, they had only really talked about names once and he had never even mentioned to Cas any of the names he'd thought of. “I don't know. I was kind of thinking maybe... I mean, it's okay if you hate it, we can come up with something else... but I was kind of thinking, Lina.”

“Lina.” Cas repeated, “Arabic, meaning 'tender'...”

“Yeah, um...” He licked his lips and looked down at their daughter, “My Mom used to love that name.”

Cas tilted his head thoughtfully.

“I wasn't sure about a middle, but I thought maybe since we've always called her a grace baby, we could just go with Grace. So... Lina Grace. What do you think?”

“Lina Grace Winchester.” Cas said carefully, his face softening into a smile, “I think that would be perfect.”

Dean tried not to give away how happy he was, but he couldn't contain his smile. There was a knock at the door and Sam's head popped in. “Hey, oh good, you're awake! Is it okay if we come in?” Dean nodded and Sam walked in, with Bobby close behind.

“You okay, boy?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah, I'm fine.”

“And how about this little thing?” Bobby said with a smile. Dean let him scoop up Lina, and Cas moved next to him quickly, still trying to keep close to her. Sam smiled down at Lina, looking over Bobby's shoulder, before turning and noticing Dean's hand resting over his stomach, “How're you feeling?” He asked.

Dean just smirked, “Don't start. I'm fine, Sammy.”

Sam raised his hands in surrender, “Okay, I get it. Sorry we kinda barged in, Gabe was keeping us out, but we couldn't wait any longer.”

“It's fine, I was up.”

Sam turned back to Bobby and Lina, “Okay, tired of waiting, it's Uncle Sammy's turn!” Bobby made a grumpy face, but passed her to Sam anyway. Cas was looking on anxiously, like he was preparing to snatch her away. _Already mister overprotective._ Dean thought fondly. Lina looked extra tiny cradled in Sam's long arms. “She's really beautiful.” He said, smiling brightly, “You two decided on a name?”

Dean looked at Cas, who nodded his approval. “Lina Grace.” Dean said, proudly.

“Lina... Hi, Lina.”

“Damn, I was gonna suggest Gabrielle!” Gabriel said from behind them, startling everyone. Dean rolled his eyes. “Well, if we're done with the obnoxiously sweet family moment, I need to have a word with the new parents.” He stepped out of the doorway and made a shooing gesture out into the hall.

Sam shot Gabe an annoyed look, as he passed Lina back to Dean.

“Hey now, don't give me that face, handsome. Mini Winchester isn't going anywhere, now scoot.”

Sam and Bobby filed out and Gabe pushed the door shut behind them. Castiel sat down next to Dean, still watching Lina and mostly ignoring his brother. Lina stirred and started to cry, Cas and Dean both looked momentarily panicked. “Wow. Relax, you two, she's just hungry.” Gabe said, with a laugh. He snapped his fingers and a bottle appeared in Dean's hand.

As Lina ate for the first time, with Cas observing closely, wearing the same look of awe and wonder that he seemed to get whenever she did anything, Gabriel explained to Dean about the soreness, which was just a product of his body recovering from the presence of the grace and would dissipate with time. He also gifted them with a book about infant care and some paperwork (including a birth certificate, filled out and signed by Dr. Gabriel Hermoso).

“Well, Balthazar needs me back upstairs, so call if anything crazy happens.” He stepped closer, smiling in that soft way that was so unusual for him—Dean thought he almost looked sort of sad—and wiggled Lina's foot through the blanket, “See ya later... little Lina.” Then he nodded at Cas and vanished.

* * *

Two weeks later Jody visited and she brought with her more baby things, Sam laughed as she set the three shopping bags full of clothes on the table, then turned to start hugging everyone. “Each bag has a different size, so you'll have stuff as she gets bigger. I know, I know, I went a bit crazy, but as soon as I found out it was a sweet little girl, I couldn't help myself!” She stopped and clasped her hands together when she got to Dean, who was holding Lina. “Hi, sweetie.” She said softly, “Can I hold her?” Dean shifted her over to Jody's arms and she immediately started to cry.

“Oh, it's okay, honey, it's okay, I know, I'm not daddy.”

“Yeah, she doesn't seem to like being with anyone else.” Dean said, smoothing a hand over Lina's head.

“That's normal, you were her home for nine months, and now everything's so bright and new, huh? Isn't it, sweetie? Yes, it is. So you just wanna be close to home.”

Jody proved to be a great resource, which Dean was very thankful for, he had Gabriel's book and was getting the hang of the basics, but he still felt otherwise pretty useless. She suggested that they start using the baby carrier that had been purchased in the great baby necessity expedition, she showed them how to adjust it, so Lina could stay snuggled against Dean when she needed it, or ride around with Cas. She also suggested that Cas lose the trench coat and suit jacket, so that Lina could be closer to him when he held her. He took the advice very seriously and it took Dean a while to get used to seeing him in just his white button down and slacks.

One early morning, Dean was in the kitchen alone, getting a bottle ready for Lina. Jody walked in and nudged him, Dean smiled, but she didn't say anything, she just kept watching him intently.

“What?” Dean asked.

“I'm just... I'm happy for you.”

“Heh... thanks. Whole thing still feels kinda surreal, but Lina is great.”

“Yeah, she is... and Cas... you know, he's pretty great too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing.” Jody said, smiling knowingly, as the tips of Dean's ears started to turn red. “Absolutely nothing.” She squeezed his arm, “Just know, I'm happy for you.”

Dean didn't respond or even look at her, he just nodded, grabbed the warmed bottle, and headed back to Cas and Lina. It figured that Jody would notice the way things were changing between him and Cas, he briefly wondered if Gabriel was right, if one of his most closely guarded secrets already wasn't really a secret.

Jody was only able to stay for a week and when she finally had to leave, she hugged Lina close and kissed her on the forehead, then settled her with Bobby, leaned in and pecked him on the cheek, “I guess I'll be seeing you back around pretty soon.” Then she hugged Sam and Dean, as tightly as she could. “Take care of yourselves and that beautiful baby girl, okay?” She was already starting to tear up, “God, you boys better keep me updated... and visit... a lot. Hear me?” They both smiled, “Yes, Ma'am.” Then she turned and looked at Cas, “Come here.” She said, as she stepped up and hugged him, “You take care of yourself, too.”

Bobby left a couple of weeks after Jody did, which was surprisingly emotional. They all loved having him around and he was wonderful with Lina, to whom he had become quite attached. After Lina was born, Bobby would hold her and sit or walk around the library, talking to her about nothing in particular. Before she was even a month old, she already had him wrapped around her fingers, well, not that she didn't already have all of them wrapped around her fingers, with her cherub cheeks and bright blue eyes, everyone was powerless to resist her.

After Bobby left, things slowly began to settle into the circus of what was to be their normal everyday lives. Dean had to work with Cas, to help him get used to other people helping with Lina, to get used to not being with her every second of every day, but he was patient, because it was hard for him too, having a baby made everything different. Some of the adjustments were easier for Dean than they might be for most new parents—there were definite benefits to having help from someone who doesn't require sleep—but it was still a substantial change. Dean started going on walks with Cas or occasionally driving into town for a meal, as a way to get out and force himself and Cas away from Lina for a while, it also provided the perfect opportunity for Sam to bond with his niece. Their whole world still pretty much revolved around Lina and the bunker, Dean didn't even bring up the idea of hunting again, until Lina was over 3 months old.

* * *

It was a simple job, but Dean was worried about leaving Lina and Cas was equally worried about Dean going without him.

“I'll be fine, Sammy'll be with me.” Dean worked his jaw, “But you're sure she'll be okay?”

Cas was holding Lina and still looked concerned, but he smiled anyway, “I won't let anything happen to her.”

The front door opened and Sam called down, “Ready whenever you are!” Dean sighed, “Okay. It shouldn't be more than a couple days, I'll check in.” He kissed Lina on the head, as she wiggled and cooed, playing with the collar of Cas' shirt. Just as Dean turned to head up the stairs, Cas caught his arm, “Please... be careful.” Dean touched his hand for a second, nodded, and then continued up the stairs.

Almost three days later, it was late at night when Dean and Sam returned. Dean was filthy, as he had refused to spend the extra time necessary to shower, he was angry that the job had taken longer and was eager to get back. He walked quickly down the hall to his room, but as he got close, he slowed, because he could hear Castiel's voice, singing something very softly. He paused for a moment, then crept quietly up to the door and peered in. Cas had Lina in his arms, with his back to the door, he was swaying gently and singing something that Dean couldn't understand. It took him a minute to realize that Cas was singing in Enochian. He had heard Cas sing little things before, but never anything like this, he didn't understand the words, but it was beautiful anyway. He leaned against the door frame and just listened. Finally, Cas laid a soundly sleeping Lina back into her bassinet and turned, “Hello, Dean.” He said quietly, taking in his hunters dirty, disheveled appearance with nothing more than slightly raised eyebrows.

Dean didn't know why he did it, he didn't remember thinking about it or making any kind of decision, all he could remember was striding forward, taking Cas' face in his hands, and pressing their lips together. When he pulled away, Cas looked like a deer in headlights, his face flushed a soft shade of pink. _Now that's new._ In all the years he had known Cas, he had seen him embarrassed, but he couldn't remember ever seeing him blush. “Beautiful.” Dean muttered, and Cas grabbed his jacket and pulled him forward again. Dean leaned into Cas, kissing him harder, and working to undo the buttons of his shirt. Cas waved a hand and the door clicked closed behind them. It was a frenzy of movement after that, clothes coming off, hands and mouths finding skin, feeling, exploring, and at some point—Dean honestly wasn't sure when—they ended up on the bed.

It was sort of inexplicable, but somehow, being there with Cas, every intense sensation, every sigh of pleasure, it was not just good, not just enjoyable, it was... _perfect_ and Dean hated himself for every second that he had wasted worrying about what other people might think, worrying about keeping up some ass backwards idea of what was acceptable, he hated himself for waiting so many fucking years to do this.

* * *

 In the early hours of the morning, after Dean had long since fallen asleep, pressed tightly against Cas' back. Castiel just laid there quietly, wrapped up in Dean's arms, listening to his breathing, and relishing the feel of the steady rise and fall of his chest. He had not known if sex was going to be a part of their... whatever they are and it had never really mattered, he loved Dean Winchester and he was prepared to stand at his side, regardless. _Though,_ he thought with a smirk, _I can now fully understand the appeal of physical intimacy._

He lifted his head when Lina started fussing, but waited to see if she would drop back to sleep, when she didn't, he carefully disentangled himself from Dean's arms, slipped on a pair of Dean's sweatpants, and picked up Lina just as she started to full on cry. Dean stirred and opened one eye. “She's fine, I've got her.” Cas whispered, as he headed out into the hall to walk with her for a while. When he came back, he put Lina down and watched her for a few minutes to make sure everything was good. Then he walked back to Dean and was about to sit in his usual spot at the edge of the bed, when Dean stirred again and lifted the blanket a little, indicating a space for him. Cas laid down cautiously, but Dean immediately scooted closer, curling an arm around his waist and relaxing against him. There was a warmth in Cas' chest that he couldn't really explain, it made him want to smile and cry at the same time. He thought about all of the confusion he had felt over this man, as new and often frightening human emotions broke down his angelic facade, but he didn't feel confused anymore, this was his life, this was his family, and in all of his centuries, he had never been so happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note:  
> Lina, as I have written it, is pronounced with a long E sound, like: LEE - nuh in case anyone was confused or curious.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I just want to say thank you. I am fast approaching 300 kudos on this story and all of the comments from you guys, my word, you guys are just so awesome and have been so supportive. Thank you SO much!
> 
> Second, after reading all of your input and spending some time deliberating, I have decided to continue adding chapters to this story... AND create a series. HA! I haven't yet decided the exact how's or when's for the series, so I will keep you posted. 
> 
> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Dean stood under the warm spray of the shower, letting it flow over his head as his thoughts raced in all different directions. _Did last night really happen? Was that a mistake? It doesn't feel like a mistake. Maybe it was mistake. What if Cas thinks it was a mistake? Did I just ruin our friendship? I probably ruined it. I always ruin everything. Why did I do that? But what if he doesn't think it was a mistake? God, did that really happen?_ He had woken up late, to an empty room, and was, honestly, a bit relieved to not have to see Cas right off the bat. Plus he was still dirty from the hunt and in desperate need of a shower, so he pulled on a pair of boxers, and made for the bathroom.

He really didn't know how Cas was feeling—neither of them was very good at the whole talking thing—he had definitely seemed to enjoy what they did and he hadn't seemed upset when he got up with Lina. Though sometimes it was hard to tell with Cas and within ten minutes of waking up, Dean had convinced himself that he was a complete idiot and that Castiel would probably smite him.

Of course, putting aside everything else, Dean still didn't even know how _he_ was feeling. This wasn't the first time he'd been with a man, but this was the first time he wasn't sure how to react. Normally he would just say nothing, move on, and pretend it never happened, and there was still a part of him that wanted to do just that, but this time there was something else too, a larger part of himself, that wanted to go out and scream his feelings for that ridiculous angel from every rooftop in the country. _Or at least march back to my room, pin him to the bed, and do a little making up for lost time._ He quickly shook off the thought, it wasn't time for that, especially since there was every chance that he had angelic wrath in his very near future.

Cleaned up and dressed in fresh clothes, Dean padded down the hall to the kitchen, but when he caught sight of Cas he stopped short. Castiel was still wearing Dean's sweatpants and one of his t-shirts, he had Lina in one arm, and was shaking a bottle with his other hand. His hair was flattened out on one side and sticking up wildly on the other. For a moment, Dean forgot every reservation that he'd been wrestling with, every concern that had been eating him since he first woke up. He started chuckling and Cas smiled at him. “I borrowed some of your clothes, I hope that's okay.” Dean couldn't stop chuckling and Cas just tilted his head questioningly. “No, no, it's fine. I don't care. You just...” Dean motioned to his hair, but Cas still just looked confused. “Just... never mind, I'll get it.” He walked over and ran his fingers through Cas' hair, “You've got a serious case of bed head goin on.” When he was finished it still looked a little unkempt, but better. Cas smiled again and they just stared at each other silently for a moment, as Dean slowly realized exactly what he had just done. Thankfully, Lina started fussing. “I can feed her.” Dean said quickly, opening his arms to pick her up. “Alright.” Cas said, letting Dean take her and then checking the temperature of the formula on his arm, before handing the bottle to Dean.

Dean snatched a couple of burp cloths off the kitchen counter and then took Lina back to the den. He sat with her in his chair—yes, he still considered it _his_ chair—and snuggled her into the crook of his arm. Lina nursed on the bottle happily, holding onto his fingers with both of her hands, and gazing up at him, studying his face. She seemed contented just being able to see him. Dean smiled. “Pretty good, huh? Smells like ass, but you seem to like it. Besides, sometimes you gotta eat crap, just because it's good for you.” He paused, mildly horrified with himself, “Don't ever tell uncle Sammy I said that.”

When Lina was finished and Dean was burping her, Sam stopped at the door. Lina smiled and cooed when she saw him, while she also worked on a rather impressive spit bubble. “Hey Lili, did you have a good breakfast?” She burped loudly. “I'll take that as a yes.” Sam said, with a laugh, then he looked at Dean, “Bobby called, he's working on something, I'll be in the dungeon for a bit pulling some papers. Maybe give me a hand when you're done?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Cas was standing in nothing but his underwear, in front of Dean's dresser, looking through the drawers, when Dean opened the door. He turned and Dean just froze, feeling his ears start to burn. He adjusted Lina, who was happily wiggling around, “Uh... hey.” He was desperately trying to form more words, begging his brain to make sound come out, but instead his mouth just hung open, as his eyes lingered on Castiel's body.

“Hello.”

Dean cleared his throat suddenly, feeling like he'd just been snapped out of a trance. “Diaper! Yeah, oh, hi, yeah, sorry, I just... um... I just need... she needs a change, so I needed a... thing.” He walked awkwardly across the room and grabbed a diaper, then laid Lina down on the bed to change her. “I can do it.” Cas said, touching his shoulder. Dean flinched away, “Oh, yeah, sure, okay. Actually, Sam needs some help for Bobby, so if you could... okay.” He turned and hurried out of the room.

Cas knelt down and tickled Lina's belly, making her smile. After he had changed her, he leaned in close and she reached up and grabbed at his nose. “I promise,” He said quietly, “your father is not normally like that, he is really very smart.” Lina just smiled, as she chewed on her other hand.

* * *

Dean spent the day helping Sam and ended up going to bed late, at which point he found himself standing outside his bedroom door, silently freaking out. His stomach had been all twisted up in knots for the last hour and he couldn't bring himself to go in. He didn't even know what exactly he was so worked up about, but he still somehow felt overwhelmed and kind of wanted to run away, but instead he just stood there, rooted to that spot. Finally, after several minutes of mental deliberation, he took a deep breath and opened the door. Cas was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing a different pair of his sweatpants and his old AC/DC t-shirt. Lina was already asleep, so Dean closed the door quietly, walked over and kissed her on the head, then slowly moved to the bed and sat down next to Cas.

“I hope it's alright that I borrowed more clothes.” Cas whispered, fiddling with the hem of the t-shirt. “I... I like that they smell like you.”

“Whiskey and skeevy motel rooms?”

Cas ducked his head and sniffed the shirt, “And grease.” He said, with a smile.

Dean chuckled.

They sat quietly for a while, until Dean could sum the courage to speak, “Cas, are you...? I mean, are we...? What is this exactly?”

“Whatever you want it to be.” Cas answered without any hesitation. He paused and exhaled, then looked at Dean, with the most earnest and vulnerable expression that Dean had ever seen. “But, if you'll let me, I would like to stay here... with you.”

Dean could have sworn the whole world just melted away right at that moment, as all the thoughts that had been racing through his mind came to a screeching halt and then vanished. He touched Cas' chin and leaned over, kissing him softly. When he broke the kiss, he pressed their foreheads together, and said the only words he could think of, even though they weren't nearly enough to describe what he was feeling, he hoped Cas would understand.

“I'd like that.”

When Cas smiled gently, Dean kissed him one more time, then climbed into the bed and settled on the right side. He lifted the corner of the blanket, letting Cas lay down on the left side. They stared at each other for a minute, until Dean reached over and pulled him close. Cas rested his head against Dean's chest and wrapped his arm around his waist. Dean carded his fingers through Cas' hair, then kissed the top of his head and sighed, “G'night, Cas.”

Cas was grinning, he was actually outright grinning, he kind of wanted to explode, but instead he just nestled a little more against his hunter. “Goodnight, Dean.”

* * *

“Lina! Lina! LINA!" Dean was running down the hall, "Oh my god. LINA!”

“Got her!”

Dean came tearing around the corner and heaved a sigh of relief when he saw Lina trying to struggle away from Sam. “Don't do that to me.” He said, as he picked her up.

“She got away from you... again?”

“Hey, she's really damn fast for someone who can't even walk yet!”

“This is the third time, Dean.”

“Yeah, well, she's also... sneaky... you know, for a baby.”

Sam shook his head and laughed, “Of course she is. Text me if she ducks you again.” Dean glared at his little brother as he walked away continuing to laugh, while Lina just squirmed in Dean's arms, whining for him to let her back down.

Upon Gabriel's request, Cas had gone back to heaven for a few days. He was incredibly hesitant about leaving Lina for so long, but Dean, in his infinite wisdom, had assured him that it would be easy, that they would be perfectly fine, and so far, well... let's just say it had been a long two days. It wasn't that he couldn't handle everything, he just hadn't realized how nice it was having Cas around to share the burden.

He and Sam had only gone on a few hunts together in the past several months, sticking to jobs that popped up fairly close to home. Every time he left, he always thought back to all those times that his dad would disappear for weeks, leaving him and Sam alone. Dean knew that he was just doing the best he could, but he honestly wondered how his dad could have ever done that, as he could barely stand to be away from Lina for more than a couple of days—and that was when he knew she was safe and sound in the bunker, under Castiel's watchful eye.

Regardless, he was ready to have his angel back at his side, he had gotten used to having him around, and he didn't care much for the separation. Or maybe... he just really... kind of... missed him.

* * *

About a week after Cas got back from heaven, Sam suggested that he and Dean go get some coffee or something. “Come on, it'll give you guys a baby break and give me a little time to hang out with my favorite niece.” Sam said, holding Lina in one arm, as she happily chewed on his hair.

Dean was a little nervous and a little excited, it wasn't like they hadn't been out for walks and meals just the two of them before, but now these times felt much more distinctly like dates. He and Cas had not said anything to Sam yet about the way that things were changing between them and were careful to be reserved around him, not touching or even standing too close together, so they were both glad for the times when they could be alone. After they said goodbye to Lina, they drove into town to a little diner that made decent coffee and an awesome cherry pie. Dean slid into the booth, but Cas stood for a second, staring at the opposite side, Dean just smirked and scooted over and Cas sat down next to him with a contented little smile. They both ordered coffee and Dean ordered a slice of pie.

After that they talked about Lina, the bunker, hunting, the angel war, visiting Bobby and Jody, and a lot of nothing in particular. Then Dean looked over at Cas, smiling as he reached under the table and linked their fingers together. Cas smiled back at him and then they just sat shoulder to shoulder, sipping their coffee in silence.

* * *

When Dean and Cas had left for the diner, Sam played on the floor of the library with Lina, letting her crawl around. He picked her up and lifted her over his head, making her squeal and giggle. "Your dad's are pretty silly, huh? Thinking we don't know what's goin on, but we got it all figured out, don't we?" He lifted her and made her giggle again, "Yes, we do. Yes, we do." It had become downright hilarious for Sam, watching the two of them trying to be secretive, I mean, did they really think that he hadn't noticed? Even someone without a lifetime of training, who doesn't know and live with both of them, would have picked up on the hints, and Sam had suspected for quite a while, noticing Cas suddenly wearing Dean's clothes, the fact that Dean's bed now looked slept in by two people. Though, honestly, for Sam the most significant thing was the change in Dean himself, he was still the same loud mouthed, quick tempered brother that he had always known, but there was also a flicker of something different. Maybe it was just obvious to him, but he couldn't help noticing the way his brothers face had softened just slightly, the way his smile was just a little wider, and his eyes just a little brighter. (Of course, even if he had managed to miss all of those signs, there wasn't much left to the imagination after he nearly choked on an apple, when he walked past Dean's room one night three months ago and heard a chorus of stifled grunts and panting, followed by Cas moaning Dean's name.)

Sam was thrilled that they were finally together, but he wasn't going to force them to talk about it, especially since it had taken such a long time just to get here. He understood that this whole thing was still pretty new, perhaps even a little fragile, and he knew that Dean would talk to him when he was ready, until then he wasn't going to do anything to disturb their budding relationship. Sometimes when they didn't know that Sam could see, Dean would touch Cas, nothing dirty and nothing overt, he would just link their fingers together for a second, tug on the end of Cas' t-shirt, smooth a finger over his jaw, or flick his arm. Like he just needed that split second of connection, almost like he was reminding himself that Cas was really there. After Sam noticed this, he started trying to give them space, going on a couple of hunts with Garth and suggesting that they step out on occasion for coffee or a walk, to offer them a chance to just be around each other without worrying about keeping it from him.

If he could, he would hug his brother and tell him that he's insanely happy for him, that Dean is the toughest son of a bitch that he has ever known, and that admitting the way he feels about Cas had only solidified that for him. Dean, however, was still Dean: no chick flick moments, stuff everything down, let's not talk about our feelings, in fact, let's bury them under ten feet of dirt and two feet of cement, and then pretend that nothing ever bothers us. Sam smiled, as Lina leaned against his legs, chewing on one of her toys. He smoothed his hand over her head, "Guess I have you to thank for getting him this far." She looked up at him, slobber dribbling down her chin, when Sam suddenly felt a rush of air. There was a loud crash and he quickly pulled Lina against his chest, covering her as the room exploded with debris. He jumped up and spun around, drawing his demon knife, but keeping Lina tight against him, covered by his jacket, as she started to cry. The big table in the middle of the room had been completely destroyed and was now just a heap of splintered wood. The air was thick with dust, and there were books scattered everywhere. Sam scanned the room, until he heard a groan from the middle of the destruction. He stepped forward cautiously, prepared to run if need be, his priority was protecting Lina. The pile of what was left of the table shifted a little and Sam noticed a hand reaching out. "Who's there?"

"Ss...sam..."

The voice was weak, but Sam recognized it. "Gabriel?!" Still keeping Lina covered, he used one hand to pull back part of the table, revealing a barely recognizable Gabriel underneath, he had obviously been beaten badly, and there was blood seeping through his shirt and pooling onto the floor next to him. "God, Gabe, what happened?"

"Sa... Sam..." He started to choke and cough, blood dripping out of his mouth. "Don't talk, don't talk. Hold on. CASTIEL! CAS! HELP!" Sam bellowed at the ceiling. A moment later Cas and Dean both appeared, looking panicked. "Help me!" Sam said, handing Lina to Dean, and then turning to start pulling the rubble off of Gabriel. They cleared Gabe and Cas knelt down at his side, "What happened? Why aren't you healing?"

Gabriel grabbed Cas' shirt and pulled him down, he moved Castiel's hand to the pool of blood next to him, and choked out a few words, "Ward... angel ward..."

"What? What do you mean?"

"NOW!" Gabriel snapped and then started to choke again. Castiel stood quickly and used Gabriel's blood to put up angel warding sigils on every entrance to the bunker. He could feel the weight of their presence, but he was much more concerned with his brother. They moved Gabriel carefully to a bed and Castiel set to work healing his injuries.

Dean stood with Sam in the hallway, trying to comfort Lina, who was still crying. "What the hell happened?"

Sam scrubbed a hand over his face, "I don't know, he just kinda dropped out of the sky."

"How is he?" Sam asked, as Cas stepped out of the room. "Not well, his injuries were severe, I healed them to the extent that I could, but I don't know why he isn't healing."

"Raphael..." They all turned when Gabriel spoke. He was sitting up, but still looked bad, and his voice was painfully hoarse. "He wants her." Gabriel coughed again and took a deep breath, struggling to keep himself upright, "He wants Lina." 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to mention that if any of you have things that you would like me to elaborate on or questions that you would like answered within the story, please do not hesitate to drop me a comment! 
> 
> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

The angel war had begun almost immediately after Castiel, Gabriel, and the Winchester brothers (also known as 'Team Free Will'), faced off against Michael and Lucifer, eventually banishing both of them to the cage. At first things in heaven had descended into chaos, angels who were used to having missions and following orders were running around confused and panicked, trying to understand their purpose. That was when Raphael rose up and quickly established himself as the new leader. He was a cruel tyrant, whose only desire was power, he wanted to be God, and the angels were so desperate for a voice to listen to that they fell in line behind him. Until Gabriel returned and stood against Raphael, denouncing his leadership. Gabriel never had any desire to be God, he just wanted a fair and peaceful heaven, he wanted his brothers and sisters to know freedom, to have the chance to understand morality and choice. Raphael tried to quash the rebellion, but Gabriel's name and reputation still carried weight, and Castiel's allegiance to him only added to that, some also believed that since Gabriel now stood as the eldest his word was law (much as they did with Michael). The legions of angels began to fracture, until there were only two groups, the followers of Gabriel and the followers of Raphael.

It was incredibly painful for Gabriel to lock his elder brothers in that cage, so from the very first time he challenged Raphael, Gabriel had been seeking a treaty, working towards and desperately hoping to prevent all out war, but when Raphael began preaching that humanity was the downfall of heaven and the destruction of angels, a mistake that needed to be wiped from the universe, war became inevitable. Gabe hated the war, he hated the bloodshed, watching his family tearing each other apart, but there didn't seem to be any hope of changing Raphael's mind. Gabriel had been able to push back hard enough to effectively prevent him from either striking out at humanity or completely enslaving the angels. The war could have easily gone on for a millenia or two, but that changed with Lina, in fact, everything changed with Lina. Gabe never told Cas or Dean just how significant her very existence was, a child born of a pure grace and soul connection, she was rare and special in a way that few outside of Gabriel himself could even begin to understand.

Gabe had struggled tirelessly to keep Lina's existence a secret from Raphael, but the news eventually reached him and it wasn't long before Gabe started hearing whispers of a plan to try and kidnap her. At the first sign that the threat was imminent, he prepared a group of his followers to prevent it, but just as they intercepted the opposing force, one of Gabriel's trusted soldiers betrayed him, hitting him with an incredibly powerful spell before he had a chance to deflect it. Raphael had taught her the spell, which would for a short time limit the full extent of his power. The traitor convinced most of the angels to surrender or flee and she told Gabriel that if he bowed to Raphael now and told him where the bastard half-breed was, she would ensure that he died quickly. Gabriel stood tall and refused, and with only two angels left standing at his side, he faced off against three garrisons of Raphael's soldiers. In the end, the spell that bound his power actually ended up having what was probably an unintended benefit, namely that being stabbed by an angel blade did not kill him outright. After both of his loyal followers had fallen and Gabe knew that he couldn't last much longer, in the span of a breath he fled to the only safe place he could think of. He knew that Raphael's soldiers would try to follow, but thankfully being a six winged Archangel made him a good deal faster. However, flying is exhausting regardless and in his weakened state, he was only barely conscious when he finally dove for the bunker, which is why he ended up crash landing in the library.

“But I don't get it, what's so special about her?” Dean interrupted. “Why would he want her?”

“Because she's hope! A sign that humans and angels are capable of coexisting peacefully, the ultimate sign that angels _can_ have free will and that it was actually part of our Father's original creation.”

“And why is that such a bad thing?” Sam chimed in, leaning against the desk in the corner.

“I'm sorry, have you met Raphael? The last thing he wants is a free heaven! He wants to rule with absolute power and in his kingdom, there will be no place for angels who can think for themselves and no place for humanity. So that perfect little angel human mix,” Gabe gestured at Lina, “born out of a God created instinct of grace undermines his whole message.”

“So he's just gonna kill her?! She's a baby!”

Gabe shook his head, “It was never about killing her. He wants to take her, to try to twist and pervert her, so that he can show all of heaven that humanity has no place among angels.”

* * *

Dean was pacing the length of his room anxiously, he couldn't sit still and he'd already hurt his hand punching a wall. He'd never before felt such a potent mixture of fear and rage, the only thing that came close was the way he felt when Sam was in danger. Of course, he would never allow this to happen, of that much he was sure, he would burn the world and all of heaven down before he ever let anyone hurt Lina. He was ready to storm Raphael's stronghold right then and there, and put an angel blade through that evil son of a bitch's chest... ten... maybe fifteen times. It just figured, the moment any of them started to get a little peace, a little normalcy in their messed up lives, some supernatural douchebag just had to come in and try to rip it away.

After spending quite a while crying, Lina was finally asleep, tucked into her crib, with Cas standing nearby, looking down at her. Even though he was quiet, his silence spoke volumes, his face betraying his fury. Dean had seen Cas angry before, but nothing like this, he was positively... _seething_. It reminded Dean of that night in the alley when the little nerd angel had beaten him senseless. As Dean walked up to him, he took a mental note to make sure to never be on the wrong side of that particular look ever again. He touched Cas' forearm, then took his hand, “He's not gonna get to her, we won't let him.” Cas squeezed Dean's hand, but didn't look away from Lina, “I need to check on Gabriel.” He said absently, not moving until Dean nudged him. “Go. I'll keep an eye on her.”

Cas sat in the chair positioned next to the bed where Gabe was resting. “How are you feeling?” He asked, examining the almost, but not quite healed wounds to Gabriel's face.

Gabe brushed Cas' hand away and sat up, “I'm getting there. Can already feel my body starting to finish healing on its own, good thing Ol' Raph never was good at spellwork.” Gabriel laughed hoarsely and Cas just stared at the floor. “Oh come on Cassie, what's wrong?”

“I wanted to say... thank you. You were protecting Lina and you could have been... I mean you were almost...”

“No. No. Don't you dare start with the sap fest! I'm fine.”

Cas smiled, “Alright, I'm sorry.”

“So how long has he been here?” Gabriel asked, motioning to Sam, who was sitting on a chair in the corner, sound asleep, propped up against the side of the dresser.

“He said someone should stay in here just in case something happened.”

Gabriel tilted his head thoughtfully, “Huh.”

“You didn't notice him?”

“He's surprisingly quiet for a giant.”

Castiel laughed lightly, “Yes, he is.”

* * *

They called Bobby to warn him about what was happening and called Jody to tell her to get to Bobby's ASAP, because Gabriel was afraid the angels would seek out anyone who knew where Lina was. Still on the phone with Dean, Bobby started digging out his references for warding sigils, then in a very calm voice, he suggested deep frying Raphael in a vat of holy oil and then using his charred remains for target practice. Dean wholeheartedly agreed.

Gabriel was regaining his strength and beginning to fully heal, but his behavior was unusually restrained, which only made everyone feel more on edge. He was standing at the bottom of the stairs, watching as Sam refreshed one of the sigils. “So what's the plan?” Sam asked.

“Why do you assume I have a plan?”

“Well, you were betrayed, beaten nearly to death, and they're still threatening your niece. So judging by the distant and slightly murderous look in your eyes and the fact that your mojo's coming back, I'm guessing you're ready to kick some ass.”

Gabe smirked. “Oh my gloriously maned Samsquatch... you know me so well.”

* * *

“You can't do this!” Cas said angrily, grabbing Gabriel's jacket to stop him. “We can help. It's my daughter he threatened!”

“Exactly. That's your daughter and she needs you... and Dean needs you and I need to know that someone is out here keeping these morons safe. I still have plenty of angels backing me up.”

“But, Gabriel...”

“No. You're staying, they're staying. End of discussion. Now I'm gonna go handle things, then you and me are gonna have a little talk about your new wardrobe,” He pointed at Cas' t-shirt, which was another borrowed one of Dean's. “Cause seriously little bro, could you be any more obvious.”

“I don't understand what you mean?”

“Oh, come on, don't play Mr. Innocent, I know you've started tapping that freckled maple tree.”

"What?" Cas said, looking utterly confused, but Gabe just laughed, as Sam came around the corner, followed by Dean who was carrying Lina. “We'll talk about it later.” 

“You're not gonna let us help, are you?” Sam asked.

“Not your fight, kiddo. I should have put Raphael down in the beginning, it's time to correct that mistake.” He paused, clearing his throat and looking a little uncomfortable, “Thanks for... everything and sorry again about the table. You guys should probably stay holed up for a bit, till you get the all clear from either me or Balthazar.” They all nodded and Gabe sighed, then he lifted Lina away from Dean and bounced her for a second, which made her giggle. “See ya mini winnie.”

“They're going to be waiting for you.” Cas said, anxiously, trying one last time to convince his brother to let them help. Gabe handed Lina back to Dean and patted Cas on the arm, “I know and don't worry, I got that covered.” He stepped back, planted his feet and manifested two angel blades, as a searing white light began emanating from him, exposing the shadow of six enormous wings, two extended out preparing for flight and four arched around him defensively. Dean pulled his jacket over Lina, as he and Sam stepped back, squinting and shielding their eyes. Cas' eyes began to glow, as he started partially transforming purely in response to the immense power radiating from Gabriel. Gabe smiled and winked, then in a single flash he disappeared.

* * *

It was a week later and they still hadn't heard anything. “I'm sure Gabriel's fine, we all knew that Raphael wasn't going to go down without a fight, so it's probably just taking a while. Either that or he got so caught up celebrating his victory that he forgot to let us know, he's kind of an asshole like that.”

“Yeah, you're right...” Cas said, smiling, but it was obvious that he was still worried. "I just wish that he had..." Cas paused and winced, then started rubbing his temples. Dean stood and hurried to him, “The warding again?”

“I'm okay, I'll just be glad when we can take them down.”

“Me too. Why don't you lay down and try to rest.” He guided Cas to the bed.

“I'm fine.”

“I know, now lay down and get some rest.”

Cas looked at Dean fondly, then obediently laid down and pulled the blanket over himself. Dean leaned over and swept Cas' hair back, then kissed him lightly on the forehead, “I'll be back in a minute, I'm just gonna check on Sam and Lina.” Cas grunted, but was already starting to drift a little. _Damn it, Gabriel, where the fuck are you?!_ Dean thought, as he slipped out the door and down the hall. The warding sigils were taking a serious toll on Cas, he'd been relatively unfazed for a while, but the longer they were up, the more his power was hampered, which left him weaker and in more and more pain. Watching the effect the sigils were having on Cas, also made Dean concerned about Lina. He still didn't fully understand exactly how much of her was angelic, all he could hope was that the human part would cancel out anything negative for as long as they had to stay stuck in the bunker.

Dean found Sam stretched out on the couch in the den, snoring softly, with an arm draped over Lina, who was sleeping on his chest tucked under a blanket. Dean smiled, “Come on sleepy head.” He said quietly, as he carefully lifted Lina into his arms. She barely stirred and Dean used one hand to pull the blanket back over Sam. He flicked the lights off and walked back to his room. Cas was asleep too, which made Dean more worried than anything else. He covered Lina with the blanket from the side of her crib and sat on his side of the bed, leaning against the wall and keeping her snuggled against his chest. It was calming in the heavy silence, to be close to both of them. Dean sighed and tilted his head back, he never would have imagined that he would ever be sitting up at night holding his sleeping child, missing the feeling of Cas watching over them.

* * *

At two weeks Dean was really starting to worry. Cas looked like someone with an extremely bad flu, Lina was crying constantly (which was very unusual for her), and he and Sam were conferencing on and off with Bobby, hoping to come up with a back up plan. Trying to figure out what they would even do if Gabriel failed, if Raphael took control of heaven and tried to wipe out not just Lina, but all of humanity.

“Hey, how are they?”

Dean sank into the chair next to Sam, “I don't know. Lina is _finally_ down for a nap and Cas can barely move. What are we supposed to do here?”

“I don't know.”

“Those sigils could be killing Cas, hell, they could be killing both of them!”

“I know, we'll figure...”

Before Sam could finish speaking they heard a loud banging sound and jumped up, they had angel blades in hand, as they looked in on Cas and Lina, who were both still asleep. The banging noise sounded through the bunker again. “Is that the front door?” Sam whispered. They hurried to the atrium and crept silently up the stairs. The front door shook with the force of the banging. Dean and Sam were readying themselves and trying to decide what to do, when they heard someone start yelling, “DEAN! SAM! CAS! OPEN THE DOOR! HEEEELLLLOOOOO!” The voice was Gabriel's, but they were both still on edge. “It could be a trick.” Dean whispered. “Only one way to find out.” Sam said and Dean nodded, raising the angel blade, ready to strike, as Sam cracked the door open. They both relaxed at the sight of a smiling Gabriel. Dean wanted to hug him and punch him simultaneously. “WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN!?” He yelled. Gabe raised an eyebrow, “Fighting the bloodiest angelic battle since Lucifer first smacked down with Michael, you?” Dean deflated a little at that, shut the door and scraped off part of the warding sigil, as Sam bolted down the stairs and across the bunker to scrape off the others. Within minutes, Gabriel was standing next to Cas in Dean's room. “Oh man, you look like crap.” He said, looking over the weakened angel. He lifted Cas out of the bed and nodded at Dean, “Bring Lina and meet us outside.”

Despite the summer heat, it felt unbelievably amazing to step out into the open air, Dean had been too worried about everything to even notice how claustrophobic the bunker had become. Lina was still unhappy, cradled in Dean's arms, sticking out her lip and sniffling. Gabe had laid Cas down on the ground outside and was kneeling beside him, pressing a hand to his chest when Dean and Sam walked up. Castiel suddenly gasped and his eyes flew open, as he shot upright. “Gabriel?!” He said, incredulous, then he grinned and threw his arms around his brother. “Yeah, I'm okay.” Gabe hugged him back and then pushed him away, “Now get off me.” Gabriel stood and turned to Lina, “Hey there sweetie, aw, why the pouty lip?” He pressed two fingers to her chest and Lina immediately settled. “There we go, no harm done.”

“Why couldn't you have just done that inside?” Sam asked.

“I just figured you guys could use a little fresh air.”

“So everything is straightened out in heaven?” Cas said from behind them, still sitting on the ground. “Oh hardly. Raphael has been... _handled_ , but there are still a few of his loyalists that we're gonna have to track down and it's gonna be a long time before our siblings really understand freedom, but it's a start.”

“And Lina's safe?”

“As safe as she can be, I've made it abundantly clear that she is not to be harmed or bothered, and anyone who feels differently will have me and you to deal with.” Cas smiled and nodded. Then Gabe looked around at all of them, “Well, this has been nice, but I've got a lot of mindless sheep to tend to, so...”

“Thank you, for everything.” Sam said, shaking Gabriel's hand. “Yes, thank you.” Cas said.

Everyone stopped and looked at Dean, who was fidgeting and looking uncomfortable, “Yeah. Um... thanks.”

Gabe made a face and rolled his eyes, “Geez, you people are so mushy!” Then he snapped his fingers and disappeared.

“I kinda don't wanna go back inside.” Sam said, looking glumly back at the entrance to the bunker.

“I know, me too.” Dean said, as he set Lina in Cas' lap and then stretched his arms over his head.

Cas grabbed a leaf and showed it to Lina, she crunched it in her hand and made a delighted noise. “Perhaps we should take this opportunity to visit Bobby and Jody.” Cas said, smiling as Lina continued to crunch the leaf. “Actually that's not a bad idea.” Dean said, dropping down to sit cross legged on the ground next to them, handing Lina another leaf. “It'd be nice to have a change of scenery for a bit.”

“I'm game.” Sam said, fishing his phone out of his pocket. “I'll call Bobby and let him know.” When Sam had walked a little ways down the path and turned his back, Dean tapped a finger on Cas' hand. They stared at each other for a second, then Dean glanced over at Sam to make sure his back was still turned, before leaning forward and kissing Castiel softly. “I'm glad you're feeling better.” He said, the tips of his ears turning a subtle shade of pink.

Cas smiled. “Me too.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

_Okay, angel blades, car seat, extra blankets, diaper bag, extra diapers, snacks..._ Dean mentally checked off everything, as he looked over the contents of the Impala's trunk. He was used to doing this before a hunt, though it felt a bit strange to be counting diapers along with ammunition. He finished the inventory and then patted the car and circled it, checking one more time that having it sit for two weeks in the parking lot of that diner didn't do any damage.

“Did you grab the diaper bag?” Cas said, walking into the garage with Lina in one arm and the blanket from her crib thrown over his shoulder.

“Yeah, it's packed and in the trunk.”

“And snacks?”

“Next to the car seat.”

“What about the extra diapers?”

“In the trunk. Cas, relax, we've got everything and we can stop on the road if we don't.”

Cas still looked around for a few seconds, like he was trying to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything, before slipping into the back of the Impala and buckling Lina into her car seat. Sam strode into the garage a few minutes later with his backpack and messenger bag. “Sorry, I promised Bobby I'd bring a few lore books from our collection.” He said, tossing his bags into the trunk and shutting it.

“Yeah, whatever, let's go.” Dean said, from the drivers seat.

The drive took a little longer than usual, as they had to take breaks for Lina to get out and move around, but leaving early in the morning helped. When they rolled up to Bobby's it was just a little after two in the afternoon. As they pulled up, Dean thought back to the last time they'd made the drive up here. He remembered still being angry and uncomfortable, trying desperately to hide a baby bump under a baggy t-shirt and jacket. Of course, he also remembered the other thing that happened here, knives and black eyes flashed briefly through his mind and made him clutch the steering wheel a little tighter.

Before Dean had even cut the engine, Jody was on the porch grinning and waving at them excitedly. Bobby came up behind her, and Jody hurried to the car, just as they were all getting out. She wrapped Sam in a hug, then Dean, “It's so good to see you boys!” The brothers went to hug Bobby, as Cas freed Lina from her car seat. “Oh my god! Look at you! She's gotten so big!” Jody said, as she half hugged Cas. “Hey there, little miss Winchester.” Lina clung to Cas' shirt and tried to hide her face in the crook of his neck. “Aw, I know, honey, you don't really know us yet.” Jody said, as she patted her on the back. “That's okay. You've got plenty of time.”

After everyone had greeted each other, they brought all their stuff into the house. “Woah.” Dean and Sam said in unison, as they walked into the living room. Bobby raised his eyebrows, “What?”

“Uh, nothing, this place is just... really... clean.”

“And pretty well baby proofed too.” Jody said, setting the diaper bag down on the little kitchen table.

“You did this?” Dean asked.

She laughed, “Yeah, it's amazing what you can accomplish when you're trapped in a house for two weeks. I'll tell ya, it's a good thing I have a lot of vacation days saved up, otherwise, being friends with you people could seriously hurt my career.”

“Sorry about that.” Dean said, with a smile.

“Nah, my life would be way too boring without all of you.” She tickled Lina's foot, but Lina ducked away again, still being shy. “Besides, it was nice to have some time to get things situated before I moved in.”

Sam and Dean both paused for a second and then did a double take, “What?! Moved in?”

Jody grinned and patted Bobby's arm. “Yeah, we've been talking about it for a while and I already spend most of my time here, so we figured we'd just go with it. I actually had everything packed up to go either here or my storage unit, but then you called about this angel mess and we had to put things on hold.”

“And you two can wipe those stupid looks off your faces.” Bobby said. “You're gonna be movin her in.”

Sam and Dean both laughed and congratulated them, while Cas just stood back, absorbing everything.

The rest of the afternoon was spent sitting around the house, talking, catching up, and playing with Lina. She actually settled in faster than Dean thought she would, even though she was still a little shy of Jody. Dean was more amused by the way she took to Bobby again, in fact, by dinner time, she seemed completely comfortable around him. After dinner they were sitting at the dining room table, Lina was in Bobby's lap, playing with a couple of spoons, Dean was sitting next to them, working on his second slice of pecan pie, and Sam was sitting at the head of the table, sipping a beer and discussing lore with Bobby, while Jody and Cas were in the kitchen working on the dishes.

“You don't have to help you know.” Jody said.

“I know, but I don't mind. I help with the dishes at home too.”

“Home?”

“The bunker.”

Jody smiled, “Ah. That's what I thought. So things are good living there?”

“Yes, I'm quite happy with the arrangement.”

“Good. I'm glad.”

“You seem happy to be living here.”

“I am. Bobby's a good man and I love the old codger.”

Cas glanced over his shoulder at Dean and smiled.

Eventually, after they had all moved to the living room, Dean was sitting on the couch, with his feet propped up on the coffee table, and Lina, who had dropped off to sleep wrapped up in her blanket, was resting on his stomach.

“So are we all crashing in here like usual?” Sam asked.

“Actually we got the extra bedroom cleared out, so...”

“You should take that,” Sam said, gesturing to Dean, “So you have a place to put Lina down for naps and stuff. I'm cool with the couch.”

Dean glanced instinctively at Cas and then nodded. “Okay, thanks.”

The extra bedroom was fairly small and still had several boxes stacked against the wall, but Dean smirked when he saw the crib in the corner, brand new and all set up, with clean bedding and everything. He kissed Lina on the head and laid her down, then slipped out of his plaid shirt and sat on the bed, staring around the room and feeling awkward. Normally, he could sleep anywhere, a skill mastered during a life on the road, but right then he just felt like something was missing. He kicked off his shoes, took off his watch and set it on the nightstand, then clicked off the lamp and laid down. He struggled with the blankets for a couple of minutes, until he felt a rush of air and then a familiar body pressed against his back. Cas slipped an arm around Dean's waist and sighed against his neck. Dean immediately relaxed, as a warmth spread through his chest. _There it is._ He thought. _That's what was missing._

* * *

Dean woke up early in the morning and found Cas sitting on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed, and looking at a book with Lina. He smiled and propped himself up on his elbow, “Just had to be a morning person didn't you.”

“I don't prefer any specific time of the day.” Cas said, very matter-of-fact. Dean chuckled and sat up, stretching out his back. “I was talking to Lina.” He said, patting Cas on the head. “I can take her if you need a break.”

“I'm fine, but I haven't started her cereal yet.”

“I'm on it.” Dean padded quietly down the stairs and into the kitchen, passing Sam who was still asleep on the couch. He got Lina's breakfast ready, grabbed a couple of towels and her bib out of the diaper bag, then went back upstairs and helped Cas get set up to feed her, in his spot on the floor. “Okay, I'm gonna go grab a shower before everyone else wakes up.” Cas smiled at him and Dean leaned down and pecked him on the cheek.

Dean had actually always been a very physically demonstrative person, he'd just gotten used to hiding it, worrying that it didn't fit with his image. Every once and a while it would sneak out, but usually only with family and close friends. So really it felt nice, allowing himself to show his affection for Cas, so much so that occasionally he had to stop himself from just grabbing Cas and kissing him out in the middle of everything, for his family and all the world to see.

It was clear that eventually he was going to need to talk to Sam and everyone else, but honestly, it terrified him. Their dad hadn't been very open minded about certain things—which is still kind of surprising given the open mindedness necessary to do what he did for a living—He wasn't really hateful, in fact, most of the time he was fine with it, just as long as _it_ was _over there_. So when Dean was young and realized that he was noticing boys, just as much as he was noticing girls, he hid those feelings and put all of his focus on his attraction to women. He met and fell in love with a couple of women in his time, but neither of those relationships ended up working out, and he just assumed that he wasn't meant to be a settle down type or maybe he just hadn't met the right woman, then somewhere in the middle of all the craziness, life happened. And life turned out to be a scruffy, trench coat wearing angel, with the bluest eyes Dean had ever seen.

He got dressed and stared at himself in the mirror, scrutinizing his features. He knew that Gabriel already knew about everything and couldn't care less, and he was pretty sure that Jody already knew and was supportive, which helped, but somehow he still had to summon the courage to tell the rest of his family. It wasn't fair, he didn't want to lose his brother and surrogate father, just because the person he was in love with happened to be a guy.

Thankfully, Dean didn't have much time to dwell on his anxieties, as they spent most of the day helping Jody move. Lina seemed to think the whole process was the most awesome thing ever, with so many boxes to pull up on and try to push around, and lots of brown wrapping paper to tear up and crunch in her hands. They all thought it was pretty hilarious that, while they were unpacking, she was just repeatedly squealing with delight sitting in the middle of a pile of ripped up paper. Lina was also finally beginning to warm up to Jody, allowing her to hold her that evening when Jody treated the group to a dinner out as a thank you.

* * *

The next day Sam snagged Bobby's truck and headed into town to check out a new bookstore—Dean still doesn't understand why anyone would willingly go to a bookstore, but that's beside the point—then Bobby and Jody borrowed the Impala to take Lina to a local park. “We'll be back in an hour or so, you two just take a break from daddy duties and relax.” Dean caught the sly look Jody gave him as they were leaving and felt his face heat up. He grabbed a beer out of the fridge and sat on the couch. God, they weren't animals, this was Bobby's house, doing anything here would just feel wrong.

Cas came down the stairs a few minutes later and leaned against the fire place, _Oh come on!_ Dean thought, as he tried hard not to stare when he saw that Cas had switched out his white button down for one of Dean's plaid shirts, though one of the buttons was askew making the shirt sit funny. “I think you missed a button.” Dean said, as calmly as he could, gesturing to the shirt. Cas looked down and scowled, “Oh, I thought it didn't feel right.” He started undoing all of the buttons and Dean bit his lip, squirming in his seat. _OH COME ON, that's not fair!_ When Cas had all of the buttons undone, he adjusted the shirt and slowly made sure each button was lined up before he started redoing them. “Fuck it.” Dean said under his breath, as he set his beer down on the coffee table and jumped up. He practically launched himself at Cas, grabbing the shirt and yanking it open again, a couple of buttons flew off, but neither of them noticed. They were kissing furiously when Dean felt a now somewhat familiar rushing sensation and then they were laying on the bed upstairs. “You know...” Dean said, as Cas started kissing and nipping at his neck, “wearing my stuff is cheating.” Cas mouthed at Dean's jaw and chuckled. Dean laughed and shoved him back against the bed, “You fucker! I knew it!” Cas looked up at him innocently, “I don't know what you're talking about.”

When Bobby and Jody got back, Dean and Cas were both dressed like normal and sitting in the living room, acting like nothing had happened.

Later that afternoon, after Lina's nap, Jody left with Lina and Cas, insisting on taking Cas shopping, saying something about expanding his wardrobe. Dean and Bobby went out to work on the Impala, trying to figure out the source of a mystery noise, and while they worked, Sam sat on a lawn chair nearby, sipping a beer and reading a book.

“Glad to see you workin so hard, Sammy.”

“Always happy to help.” Sam said, grinning and raising his beer.

Dean shook his head and leaned back under the hood. It felt kind of like old times, hanging out with Bobby and his brother, drinking, arguing about nothing, though admittedly it was nicer now that they didn't have the apocalypse looming in the distance. Dean's phone buzzed, it was a text from Jody with a picture of Cas wearing an extremely brightly colored and extremely ugly Hawaiian shirt, **'Lina actually started crying when she saw him in it.'**

Dean chuckled and texted back, **'I don't blame her.'**

That evening was nice, Lina was happily playing on the floor, while everyone talked, but Dean was feeling anxious. They only had one more day before they were heading for home and he was trying to decide if now was the right time to talk to everyone, he wanted to get it over with, but he also didn't want to ruin the visit. After a while he got up and went out on the porch, taking a deep breath and gazing out at the scrapyard. Sam came through the door and stepped up next to him a few minutes later. They stood in silence, even though Dean kind of wanted to scream, he had so much to say and not nearly enough courage to say it.

“Hey, do you remember that horrible little motel in Pittsburgh?” Sam asked, randomly. “The one we stayed at for those three weeks while Dad was on a job, I think I was about 13 and you were 17.”

Dean thought about it for a minute and then made a face, “The pirate themed one? When Dad was trailing that werewolf pack?”

Sam laughed, “Oh my god, I forgot about the pirate theme! I was distracted by the pervy owner with the toupee, who kept trying to buy me a soda.”

“Thought for sure I was gonna have to kill that guy.”

They both laughed and Sam leaned on his elbows against the railing, “But, yeah, so you remember that place?”

Dean nodded, “Why?”

“Well, there was this one day, after we'd been there for a couple weeks, that you went out and you told me to stay in the room, but I snuck out anyway to get a snack.”

“So?”

“To get a snack from the vending machines.”

“Okay... Is there a point floatin around somewhere?”

“I went to get a snack from the vending machines... that were across the street, in the weird little alley next to that grocery store.”

“Sam, what are you getting at?”

“I'm just saying that... it never bothered me.” Sam straightened and put a hand on Dean's shoulder, “You're my brother and that isn't gonna change.” Dean just stared at him, confused. He was about to say something else, when he suddenly remembered the little grocery store, where he would go to hang out and take a break from the motel, and watch a certain cute blond boy with glasses, who bagged groceries. That blond boy was actually the first boy that Dean ever kissed, in fact, they made out one time after he got off work, outside the store, against... the side of a... Dean's face flushed red and he stared at the railing, wanting to disappear, or evaporate, or just melt into the cracks between the floorboards, anything to escape. “So..." He croaked, "So you... uh...”

“Yeah, but like I said, Dean, I don't care, I never cared. It doesn't change anything.”

“But you never... why didn't you ever say anything?”

Sam shrugged. “I just figured if you wanted to talk about it, you'd talk about it, besides I knew how Dad was about that stuff.”

“So why are you bringing it up now?”

"Jody." Sam said, chuckling, "She said if I didn't put you out of your misery, she'd find a step ladder and kick my ass.”

Dean huffed a laugh, "She would too."

Sam patted Dean's shoulder and then turned to go back inside.

“Sam... so you _know_... right?”

“About you and Cas? Yeah, for a while now.”

“And you're...?”

Sam looked at Dean with those kicked puppy eyes and smiled. "Yeah, Dean, I'm okay with it.” Then he opened the door and went back to the group.

Dean scrubbed a hand over his face. He was relieved and embarrassed and happy and felt like a complete idiot all at the same time. Somehow he always managed to underestimate his little brother.

When he went inside, Sam was sitting on the couch, covered up with a blanket, and clicking on his laptop. "Cas took Lina upstairs." He said.

"Okay, thanks."

They nodded at each other and Dean went up the stairs. Cas was just laying Lina down when he walked into the room. “I talked to Sam.” He said in a rush, needing to get the words out before they smothered him.

“Oh?”

"I mean, about... us. I guess he's known for a while.”"

“I thought he might.” Cas said, sitting on the bed. “He is, after all, an excellent hunter and he does know you better than probably anyone. I'm assuming he's alright with the situation?”

Dean shrugged off his jacket and sat next to him, sighing deeply, “Yeah, he is. Now I just have to talk to Bobby.”

* * *

After spending most of the night racking his brain, trying to come up with a way to tell Bobby about everything, Dean wasn't even half awake when he heard the door open. “She okay?” He said, sleepily, to the blur in the doorway, but Cas didn't respond. “Kay... whatever.” Dean mumbled, pulling Cas' arm tighter around him and snuggling back against his warmth. It took a full second for the pieces to click into place. _Wait._ Dean's eyes flew open and he shot upright, just in time to see Bobby walking back out into the hallway. He clamped a hand over his mouth and when Cas sat up looking alarmed, he turned and smacked him on the arm. “Why didn't you hear him come in?” He said, in an angry whisper.

“Who?”

“BOBBY!”

“I'm sorry, I was praying.”

"Son of a bitch!" Dean groaned, dropping his head into his hands, “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?!”

Cas tried to calm him down, but it was still a solid 20 minutes of freaking the hell out, before Dean had gathered himself enough to get dressed and go downstairs. He descended the stairs slowly, with Cas trailing behind him, carrying Lina. Maybe it was fate, maybe he was just supposed to get all of this out of the way in one shot, though that thought did little to loose the knot in his stomach. He felt something like an animal heading for slaughter. Cas went into the kitchen, but kept his eyes on Dean, Sam was sitting next to Jody on the couch, both of them sipping coffee, and Bobby was sitting at his desk, taking notes on the book open in front of him. Dean stopped in front of the desk and waited, quietly hoping that a meteor might crash through the ceiling and kill him right where he stood.

“So...” Bobby said, setting down his pen and looking up at Dean, “you and Cas?”

Sam made a choked noise and everyone froze. This was it, the moment of truth, there was only one other person, next to Sam, whose opinion Dean was truly afraid of knowing. Bobby had been a father to him for a very long time and he didn't know if he could handle being rejected. He felt as vulnerable as he had the day he showed Bobby his pregnant belly. “Yeah.” Dean said, bracing himself.

Bobby watched him silently for a moment and then snorted. “Bout damn time.” He muttered, returning to his book.

Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to shout, or laugh, or just throw up, before he could say anything Jody stood and clapped her hands together, “So, we goin to breakfast or what?”

At the restaurant, Dean and Cas were sitting next to each other (something they had avoided over the past several months, when others were around) and everyone was discussing Lina and the angel war—Dean was truly grateful for the lack of focus on what happened that morning—when he felt Cas take his hand under the table and link their fingers together. _There it is_. Dean thought again, smiling to himself. _That's what was missing._


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

After returning from Bobby and Jody's things were good, a little weird, but good. Gabriel eventually replaced the table in the library. Sam was keeping up with Garth and Bobby and leaving pretty regularly to hunt. Bobby would set him up with other hunters that needed backup or that he felt needed a more experienced hunter to guide them. Sometimes Dean went along, to keep his skills sharp and satisfy the occasional need to gank some evil sons of bitches, but everyone recognized that his priorities had shifted, for once in his life he had somewhere and someone that he wanted to get back to.

Dean was happy, but still adjusting to the fact that he and Cas were not a secret anymore. Most of the time he was still reserved around Cas, not sure how to behave, not sure what people were expecting. He had spent so many years worrying constantly about maintaining a certain image, that it was a challenge to expose a side of himself that he never thought would fit. Thankfully, Castiel was patient and didn't seem to mind the random moments when he would pluck up enough courage to show affection in front of others or the equally random moments when he would quickly shove him away anytime someone walked into the room. It wasn't until almost two months after the visit to Bobby and Jody's that Dean finally managed to kiss Cas in front of his brother. He didn't exactly plan anything, one afternoon when he and Sam were getting to ready to leave for a hunt, it just sort of happened.

“Be careful.” Cas had said, smiling slightly and—if Dean wasn't mistaken—almost a little expectantly. Without thinking about it, Dean leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the lips, then paused, suddenly remembering that Sam was standing only a few feet away, watching them. He felt his face flush as he straightened, glancing at Sam, who looked both amused and smug. The kiss had barely been anything, just a peck, but it still felt strangely special, being the first time that Dean had ever kissed Cas in front of anyone other than Lina. “Let's go.” Dean said gruffly, striding for the stairs that led to the garage. “You guys are so cute.” Sam said, teasingly. Dean shoved him with one arm, “Shut up, asshole.” Sam just laughed and Dean kept walking, unable to hide a little smirk.

Cas never said anything to Dean, because he was content to do whatever was necessary to keep Dean by his side—even if his behavior was sometimes intensely confusing—but he was actually quite happy that everything had come to light. He also rather enjoyed the affection when Dean offered it, because it was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. Throughout his life, Cas had more than once been heralded as a devout follower, a fearsome warrior, a respected leader, even a war hero, but every accolade paled in comparison to the simple knowledge that a man, who values family above all others, had been willing to risk those relationships just to be with him. And every gentle touch in passing or tender kiss goodbye made him glow, basking in the warmth of a love that he couldn't believe was his.

* * *

With Lina on his hip, Dean stopped at the entrance to the kitchen, finding Cas sitting cross-legged on the floor, closely studying a cookbook, with at least a dozen others laying open and spread out around him. “What are you doing?”

“Learning to cook.” Cas said, excitedly.

“Why? You don't eat.”

“I know, but I rather enjoy the process required in food preparation, it's fascinating.”

“That's weird, but okay.” Dean said, carefully stepping around the books, as he made his way to the fridge to grab some juice for Lina. “Just try not to burn the kitchen down.” Cas looked up at him, his face turning very serious. “I assure you that won't happen.” Dean chuckled, “I was just... never mind.”

Sam came around the corner a second later and raised his eyebrows, questioningly. “He's learning to cook.” Dean said, giving him a 'don't ask' expression.

“Okay...? You guys ready to go?”

“Yeah, I am. Cas?”

Cas set down the book he was reading, pressing on it to make sure it stayed open to the page he was on, and then stood up, “Yes, of course.”

Dean just shook his head, as he moved back through the minefield of cookbooks.

The grocery store was crowded with people buying Thanksgiving foods. “Damn holidays.” Dean muttered, as he steered the cart around a group of people swarming a display of boxed stuffing. “Hey, you're the one who had a kid on November 26th.” Sam said with a smile, heading for the party supplies.

“I don't even understand why were doing this, she's one, it's not like she's even gonna remember a fucking party.”

“Come on, Dean, it's her first birthday.”

“Hey, we never had any stupid parties and we turned out fine.”

“Oh yeah, right, cause our childhood didn't screw us up _at all_.”

Dean rolled his eyes, but let it go. Lina was bouncing in the toddler seat of the cart, “Dada. Dada.” She said, reaching for Dean, who lifted her out and set her down, then held onto her hands and helped her walk over to the decorated tablecloths. He squatted down next to her, as she pulled a brightly colored one with sesame street characters off the shelf. “You like this one?” He asked. She held up the tablecloth showing it to Sam and Cas and started babbling happily.

“Guess we have a winner.” Sam said, grabbing the matching paper plates and napkins.

Dean stood up, lifting Lina with him, letting her hold the tablecloth “Okay, now what?”

“Just need a cake and a few non birthday related things.”

Sam and Dean took the cart and went to grab the other things on the list, while Cas took Lina to look at cakes in the bakery section. “No Li, you cannot have a donut.” He said, as she squirmed in his arms, whining and pointing at the glass case. “Those donuts are treacherous.” Someone said over his shoulder, Cas turned and a tall brunette woman was smiling at him, “They do offer cookie samples over by the counter, if that helps.”

“Thank you.” Cas said, smiling back.

“Now who is this lovely young lady?” The woman said, smiling at Lina, but Lina just curled away and buried her face in Cas' neck.

“I'm sorry, she's shy. This is my daughter.”

“She's really beautiful. How old is she?”

“Almost one.”

“Oh, that's such a fun age! So are you picking up some last minute Thanksgiving goodies?”

“No, we're going to look at cakes.”

“For your wife?”

“I don't have a wife.”

The woman smiled sweetly, “Girlfriend?”

“I don't understand, why would a relationship be necessary for purchasing a cake?”

“So you do have a girlfriend?”

Cas furrowed his brow and squinted at her, confused, “No.”

“Oh, I'm sorry, I just figured. I mean you're so great with your daughter and looking like that...” She smiled sweetly again and looked him up and down, “it's hard to believe some woman hasn't snatched you up.”

“Some woman did!” Dean said loudly, as he hurriedly stepped up and planted himself right next to Cas. The woman raised an eyebrow, “Excuse me?”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, you heard me.” Dean said, putting a hand on Cas' back, “Now keep walkin.” He gave her his best 'fuck off' smile and she raised her hands and made a face, “Whatever.” She said as she turned to walk away. “

“Dean...” Sam said quietly, trying desperately to bite back a smile, “You know you kind of just called yourself a...”

“I know! Shut up!” Dean snapped, feeling heat creeping up his neck, but Sam just started laughing. Dean glared at him, as he grabbed the cart again and headed for the cakes. Cas didn't move for a second, as he watched the brothers walk away, trying to figure out what in the world just happened.

That evening, Sam was in his room, Lina was already asleep in her crib, and Dean and Cas were sitting in the den with the baby monitor, watching TV—well... they had the TV on at least, which totally counts. “May I ask you a question?” Castiel asked. Dean grunted his assent, as he worked his tongue over the mark that he'd just sucked into Cas' neck. “Why were you upset with that woman at the grocery store?” Dean sat back and looked at him, “Are you serious?” Cas just stared back, confused.

“She was flirting with you!”

“She was?”

“Yeah, only a lot!”

“And that bothered you?”

Dean's voice dropped and he blushed slightly, “Well, I don't want... other... I just mean... yeah... it did.”

“So does that mean that you... _snatched me up_?” Cas said, carefully enunciating the words. Dean's face softened and he smirked. “Guess so.”

Cas smiled and pulled him into a kiss.

* * *

Lina's birthday ended up being fun and relatively peaceful. Bobby and Jody came down for a couple of days, excited to find Lina starting to walk and talk. They decorated the eating area in the kitchen, the cake wasn't horrible, and after the little party, they all sat around the table in the library talking and catching up. However, in the middle of their conversation, a gold colored balloon drifted slowly down and landed on the table. Dean reached over and picked it up, “What the...?” Suddenly brightly colored balloons started raining down from out of nowhere. Lina was giggling and clapping, throwing them and trying to kick them around. Finally, she picked up one of the balloons and squeezed it, there was a loud pop, but instead of breaking apart, the balloon exploded into a bunch of bubbles. Lina squealed excitedly and squeezed another one until it popped, making more bubbles. Soon they all started popping the balloons, until there were none left and the whole room was filled up with bubbles, Lina was thrilled, grabbing at them and watching them float around. When the room cleared, they found a black teddy bear, with gold wings, sitting in the middle of the table, with a little note card that read: **Happy Birthday, Mini Winnie!**

A couple of hours later, Dean handed Bobby a blanket to cover Lina, who had fallen asleep against his chest, then poured himself and Bobby a couple glasses of whiskey and settled back in his chair. It was hard to believe that his daughter was already one year old. He still remembered all of the craziness and all of those little details that were so small, but meant so much. Like the afternoon when Cas came bursting into the library, beaming with pride, to tell them that Lina had said Dada, and the morning when she took her first wobbling steps from him to Cas, then the two of them spending the rest of the day trying to get her to do it again for Sam. Dean took a sip of his whiskey and sighed, it felt like her first year had gone by in the blink of an eye, in fact, Dean felt like his whole life had been put in fast forward the moment he found out he was pregnant, it wasn't a bad feeling, it was just overwhelming, he wasn't ready for her to grow up. 

* * *

Lina's second year was going by just as fast as the first, Dean felt like he had barely blinked again, and she was already just 3 months shy of her next birthday. Leaning against a pillar, he watched as Sam chased her around the atrium, making her shriek and giggle. He smiled when Sam collapsed onto the floor and Lina toddled over and squatted down to pull his hair back, checking his face. “Ammee?” She said, in her baby way, “Ammee?” Sam held perfectly still, then shot up and reached over, lifting and tickling her. Lina startled and then descended into uncontrollable giggles. Sam set her down and fell back against the floor with a sigh. “God, you got way too much energy for me kid. Why don't you go get Daddy? Yeah, go get Daddy!” He said, shooing her towards Dean. She giggled and ran over, crashing into Dean's legs. “Did you kill Uncle Sammy?” Dean said playfully, as he scooped her up and walked back over to Sam, who was still sprawled out on the floor. He nudged him with his foot and Sam started chuckling, “Yep, I think you did. What do you think, should we leave him here and go check on Poppy?” She smiled brightly and they headed for the kitchen.

A month before, Lina had unexpectedly settled the long standing debate over how she would refer to him and Cas. When speaking to her they had always referred to each other as Dad, Daddy, or Father, so no one knew exactly why it happened, but one evening when she was sitting in Cas' lap looking at a book, she turned to him and said very distinctly, “Oppy.” At first they thought it was just baby babble, until two days later when Cas left to grab some food for everyone and when he came back, she ran up to him squealing, “OPPY! OPPY! OPPY!” over and over. No one had any idea where it came from, but she seemed pretty settled on the term after that, and since they had agreed that they would go with whatever she came up with to call them, and since she still referred to Dean as 'Dada', thus Daddy and Poppy—or Dad and Pop—were established.

“Damn. That smells amazing.” Dean said, inhaling deeply as he walked into the kitchen. “What are you making?”

Cas smiled, “Chicken Parmesan. I found the recipe on the internet.”

Cas had changed a lot in the last year, sometimes it still took Dean by surprise. He held onto his trench coat, but only very rarely ever wore his old suit. His favorite outfit now was a pair of jeans and a button down (he had amassed a collection of at least 15 different colors in the same shirt), though he still occasionally liked to borrow Dean's clothes, and he almost always 'slept' in one of Dean's t-shirts. He held to his word and actually did learn to cook, which he seemed to genuinely love. Dean still didn't understand it, but after tasting a few of his dishes and being surprised with a fresh baked pie on his birthday, he had decided very quickly that he wasn't going to complain. Cas was happy and, really, for Dean, that (and the occasional homemade pie) was enough.

“Well, it smells delicious.” Dean said, as he sat at the table and started bouncing Lina on his knee. 

“Thank you. How's her arm?”

Dean pulled up one of Lina's sleeves and looked over her arm. “They're almost all gone.”

At first glance Lina appeared by all accounts to be entirely human. Getting her baby teeth had been miserable, she seemed to have a normal range of emotions and normal reactions to situations, her development was following a fairly normal and healthy pattern, and thus far she hadn't sprouted any wings that Dean or Cas could see. However, there were a couple of things that were a tad... out of the ordinary. The first was something that Jody brought up, which was the fact that Lina had never been sick, not so much as a case of the sniffles, ever. The second was something they had all noticed at one point or another and for a long time dismissed as their imagination. Lina would get hurt, she would get cuts and scrapes, bleed and bruise, just like any kid, but with observation they began realizing that her injuries healed more quickly. It wasn't instant, not really even fast enough to notice unless you were paying attention, but it was definitely faster than normal. For instance, they had taken her for a walk in the woods around the bunker and she had fallen and scraped up her arm pretty badly. Now just two days later the minor scrapes had already disappeared and the worst of the cuts were reduced to just a few red marks on her skin.

Castiel had consulted Gabriel on these changes back when they first started noticing them, but he was less than helpful. He told Cas that it made sense Lina would have a little angel mojo of her own, but that he didn't know how that mojo would reveal itself as she got older. Then before snapping Cas back to the bunker, he smiled in that frustratingly devious way, that made it obvious that he knew a lot more than he was saying. It always made Cas feel like he was still the puny tag-along little brother when Gabe did that, but eons of experience had taught him that there was no helping his brothers twisted sense of humor.

“She's fine, Cas.” Dean said, noticing the concern on the angel's face. Cas didn't say anything, he just kept stirring the marinara sauce that was on the stove in front of him. Dean stood and put Lina in her high chair, then walked up and put a hand on Cas' shoulder making him turn around. “Cas. She's fine. Gabe might be a dick, but he'd tell us if something was wrong.”

“I know.”

Dean slid a hand down Cas' arm and then linked their fingers together, “She's just taking after her _Poppy_ a little more than we thought.”

"That's good, I suppose."

"Definitely good."

Cas relaxed a little and glanced at the fridge. “I made an apple cobbler.” Dean burst out laughing at the peculiar segue, “Again?! You know I'm gonna get fat if you keep this up, right?”

“That wouldn't bother me.” Cas said, smiling. Dean stepped a little closer, kissed him softly, and then smirked. "Good to know."

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit darker than usual, but I promise that it is important to the story and I will make it up to you with fluffy goodness later on!
> 
> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> WARNING: little bit of disturbing imagery (contained in a nightmare).

Cas stirred from his meditation, feeling Dean tense up next to him. He rolled over and smoothed a hand over his arm, but Dean didn't relax. Cas tried to look into his mind, but there was something in the way, a darkness that was blinding him to the hunters thoughts. “Dean?” He said quietly, noticing the perspiration beginning to forming on his brow.

_There was black, just black. **Why is it so dark?** Sound was reverberating around him, not quite an echo, more like a whisper passing back and forth through a crowd. He tried letting his eyes adjust, but he couldn't make out any part of his surroundings. He dug in his jacket and was relieved to find the cool metal of a flashlight, he pulled it out and clicked the button, the light flashed on, but... **what the hell?** It was like the darkness was thick, sticky, something the light couldn't pierce. He stowed the flashlight again and took unsure steps forward, with his arms extended. He couldn't feel anything, except the heaviness of the air against his skin. The whisper fluttered around him again and he still couldn't pinpoint a source, but it sounded like it was saying something, or maybe, repeating something. He felt goosebumps rising on his skin and the hair on his neck stand on end. His hand came against a rough surface and he recoiled, waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, he reached out again, sliding his hand over what felt like maybe bricks or concrete, a wall? It was joined to the floor and very tall, _extending beyond his reach in height_. He started to turn and froze, he still couldn't see anything in the inky black void that surrounded him, but somehow he could feel it, and it felt like... the darkness... had moved. He opened his mouth to speak, but immediately shut it again, instinct told him that he shouldn't talk, that he shouldn't attract attention to himself. It almost felt like someone... or something... was listening. He put a hand against what he guessed—or perhaps hoped—was a wall, picked a direction, and started to follow it, moving as quickly and quietly as he could. The whispers floated around him again, the words were still distorted, but they were closer this time, louder. He moved faster, until the wall he had been following abruptly ended. He swung around, groping frantically in the darkness, but he couldn't find it again. He took a few deep breaths... **Why is it so hard to breathe in here?** As he tried to just listen, hoping to find some clue that might tell him where he was, but there was nothing, no points of light, no traces of sound, not even the whispers. It felt too open here, too exposed... **I have to get out of here, I have to get out of here now**. _

Dean grimaced and started muttering. “Get out... get out...” He swatted at the air and kicked at the blanket, tangling it around his legs. Cas sat up and pulled the blanket off of him, “It's alright, Dean. Shh... It's alright.” He said, soothingly.

_He took off running in what he hoped was a straight line, but he couldn't find the wall, for all he knew he was just running in circles. He slid to a stop and there it was again, that feeling, deep down in his gut, born out of years of hunting: he was not alone **.** He clapped a hand over his mouth, trying to stifle the sound of his breathing, as he turned in a slow circle, studying the darkness that surrounded him, until out of the corner of his eye, he saw it, the darkness... it was... it was moving, churning, circling him, like he was swimming in black ink. Then he heard the whispers again, all around him... **Is it talking to me?** The darkness was getting closer now, like it was reaching for him. The tendrils of black ink caressed his arms and his eyes went wide with fear. As it penetrated his skin and began seeping slowly into his veins, he could feel it, he could feel what it knew, all the things it should not know, this darkness, it knew everything, and it was inside him now, pulling him apart. He tried to run, but his body wouldn't move, he tried to scream, but the darkness just swallowed the sound, as it enveloped him. He couldn't struggle, he couldn't do anything, but feel. Feel, as his body evaporated, as he was consumed._

Dean was whimpering and sweating profusely, tossing his head from side to side, squeezing his eyes closed, and digging his fingers into the mattress. “Dean.” Cas said again, more forcefully, “Dean. Calm down.” He tried again to enter his mind, to shine a light into the dream, but the darkness held him back.

_**What's happening? Where am I? Am I dead?** He heard a noise and suddenly his world wasn't pitch black anymore, he could see, but it was like all of the color had been scrubbed off, leaving just pale traces of the vibrancy that he remembered. He could feel his mouth hanging open unnaturally wide and he couldn't close it, he couldn't move or turn his head, he couldn't even blink. Something passed in front of his vision, shrouded in a thick black fog. As it came closer, he realized with horror that it was a body, suspended, mouth gaping, staring right back at him, with wide eyes full of fear. More shapes began to emerge through the fog, more bodies, all suspended, all with the same grotesque expression. He heard the noise again, like footsteps on a stone floor, “Dean? Dean?!” The voice was nothing more than a harsh whisper, but he was sure that he knew it, like a thought on the tip of his tongue. He looked down when he noticed something moving through the fog below them, making it swirl around. The eye's of the other suspended bodies rolled down with his, watching a person crouched slightly, walking with their hand against a wall. A chill washed over him, as a thicker darkness poured around the suspended bodies, moving through the fog, rolling slowly toward... **SAM! Oh god, Sam!** He strained, trying to cry out, trying to do anything to warn him, but all that came out of his mouth was a muted rush of sound. The other suspended people began making the sound too, until it was reverberating around them, passing back and forth... like a whisper... through a crowd. The inky blackness closed in around Sam, blocking him from view, and for a long time, nothing happened, until a shape slowly rose up right in front of him, becoming suspended in the black fog, with mouth gaping, and... familiar green eyes... staring... _

Cas pressed a hand to Dean's forehead and closed his eyes, concentrating, trying to force himself through the black. He spoke quietly, but fiercely, into Dean's mind, trying to call him to safety, to a place of peace.

“ _Dean.”_

_He heard that single word and the darkness around him shattered like a glass wall. He found himself laying on a blanket, under the shade of a large tree, the world around him clear and peaceful. He squinted at the sunlight that was shining through the branches of the tree, he could feel a warm breeze and hear the rustle of leaves. He heard footsteps to his right, but for some reason they didn't startle him. He turned his head and saw Cas walking up to the blanket, barefoot, wearing nothing but a pair of faded jeans._

_Cas smiled softly and sat down next to him. “It's okay now.” He said, as he leaned down and kissed him lazily. Dean reveled in the feeling, the taste, like something infinitely familiar and brand new at the same time. He threaded his fingers into Cas' hair, smiling and sighing, but as they kissed, the world suddenly muted and a faint whisper floated around them._

With a grunt, Cas was sent reeling backwards, the darkness gathering and forcing him out of Dean's dream with a harsh jolt.

_He pulled away from Cas, “What was that?”_

_Cas just smiled down at him, “What was what?” But something was wrong, his face, it didn't look right. Dean pressed himself back against the ground, a fresh terror seizing his heart, as he watched the smile fade from his angel's face, his eye's widening and his mouth stretching open until he heard his jaw snap._

Dean's breathing picked up, he was writhing, with pain and fear etched into every muscle of his face. “Dean!” Cas pressed into Dean's mind with all of his strength, but he couldn't pierce the veil that surrounded it. He grabbed his shoulders and started shaking him, “Dean! Wake up!” The door opened behind him, “What's going on?” Sam said, but he stopped when he saw Dean. He flicked on the light, and hurried to the bed. “Is he dreaming?!”

“Yes! Help me!”

“ _CAS!” Dean scrambled backwards, pushing up against the side of the tree, but as soon as he touched it, the tree vanished, leaving thin wisps of black fog in its wake. Castiel was still staring at him, his body frozen, but his eyes following his movement, pleading for help. Dean couldn't help, he didn't know how, he could only watch as the peaceful world around him dissolved, engulfing everything, including his angel, in a black fog._

_He stood up carefully, feeling sick as he scanned the fog swirling around him, until he caught movement, he could just barely make out a small shape, but somehow he just knew... “LINA!” He dove into the fog, running straight for her. Lina was crying and clutching a blanket, he lifted her into his arms and hugged her to his chest. “Lina, it's okay, it's okay, Daddy's here, it's okay.” Dean looked down, when Lina started to shiver violently, he saw black ink seeping from his own fingers, it had already soaked into her shirt and he could see it polluting her veins. “NO! NO! LINA!”_

Dean arched off the bed and screamed. Sam and Cas were holding him down, as they both shouted and tried to shake him awake. Lina had woken up and was crying in her crib. “What do we do?!” Sam half yelled, panic clear in his voice. “I don't know," Cas said, "I can't get into his mind!”

_Dean dropped Lina quickly, but she didn't fall, she just stayed there, suspended in the fog. He caught a glimpse of her face and screamed, falling backwards, as he clawed at his eyes, trying to make the image go away. “NO! NO! NO!” He continued to scream, digging his fingers into his own flesh, making black ink gush out over his hands and arms. He just had to get it out, he had to get the darkness out of him, he had to rip away everything it had touched._

Dean's breathing was uneven, he was gasping and choking, and Cas could hear his heart, it was beating too fast. Cas felt the edges of an unspeakable pain ripping through Dean's body, before he screamed again and started convulsing. “Dean!” Sam shouted. “Cas, what's happening!? HELP HIM!” Cas could feel tears stinging his eyes, as he put both hands on Dean's chest, trying to force his body to calm or heal, or something, anything.

“MOVE!” Gabriel ordered, appearing behind Cas, who startled and hurried out of his way. “Take her!” He barked at Sam, pointing at Lina, as he sat down at Dean's side. Sam jumped up and grabbed Lina out of her crib, covering her and backing up against the wall. Gabriel pressed his hands to the sides of Dean's head, closed his eyes, and began to glow, concentrating his power into his hands. When he opened his eyes, they were lit with a white hot light. “Let. Him. Go.” He growled, in an otherworldly voice.

_Dean put his hands over his ears, as a sharp ringing sound began out of nowhere, the ringing grew in volume, until the ground beneath his feet started to shake and he felt like his head was splitting open. The darkness quickly receded, almost like it was fleeing, before his mind exploded with white light._

Dean's whole body seized and then, with a deep sigh, he relaxed. The light from Gabriel dissipated, as he stood, “He's alright now. He'll sleep peacefully.” He walked across the room and pressed two fingers to Lina's forehead and she stopped crying, dropping immediately into a peaceful sleep. “Hey, what're you...!”

“We need to talk... now.” Gabriel interrupted, before turning to leave. Sam glanced at Cas, then tucked Lina back into her crib and they both followed Gabe into the hallway.

“What the fucking hell just happened?” Sam said.

“Yes, what was that?.” Cas said, looking at Gabriel, “Dean has had numerous nightmares over the years, some worse than others, but I have always been able to break them, this time... it was like...”

“Something was keeping you out.” Gabe finished.

“Yes.”

“Was it a spell?” Sam asked.

“No. It's called a dream leech.”

“What the fuck is a dream leech?”

“Nastiest little bug you'll ever meet. It's a thought spirit that implants itself in the mind of a host without their knowledge, remaining completely harmless until the host falls asleep, then the leech uses the hosts worst memories and greatest fears to prey on their unconscious mind. There are only a few in existence and their entire purpose was to torture, designed to inflict maximum pain and fear, until the host either dies or is driven crazy.” He paused when Cas flinched and looked at the floor. “There's nothing you could have done.” He said, putting a hand on Cas' shoulder.

“I made it worse. I was able to push passed it briefly, but that just made the dream worse for Dean.” Cas said, feeling incredibly guilty.

“It doesn't matter, you weren't powerful enough to remove it and even without your inspiration, it would have just come up with some other twisted horror to torture him with.”

“But its gone now? You removed it?” Sam said, glancing with concern back at the door into Dean's room.

“Oh yeah, it's toast... literally. I took it into my own mind and burned it alive.” Sam raised his eyebrows and Gabe shrugged. “They were meant to torture humans, not angels, and definitely not archangels. They can't handle the power our minds contain.”

“So where did this thing come from and how the hell did it get into Dean?”

“I'm not sure, all I know is that it had to hijack him outside the bunker, otherwise it wouldn't have gotten passed these walls.”

“Did someone do this to him?” Castiel asked, setting his jaw and balling his hands into fists. Gabe took a deep breath, “I don't know anything for sure, but you better believe I'm gonna find out.” Cas relaxed a little at that, then looked at Gabe curiously, “Speaking of which, how did you even know to come here?”

“Oh you know me, always keeping tabs on my favorite band of merry morons.”

Cas squinted at him suspiciously, “In the middle of the night?”

“Guess I just have great timing.”

Cas was still squinting at him, but he nodded anyway, because even if Gabriel was lying, he was still glad that his brother had showed up, and he felt better having him around. “You're sure that Dean will be alright?"

Gabe nodded, "Yeah, he's good, trust me." Cas didn't know how to express the feelings that were swimming around in his head, finally he just pulled Gabriel into a hug, "Thank you." He said, before turning and quickly disappearing back into the room to check on Dean and Lina.

Gabe and Sam stood in silence for a while, until Gabe sighed, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a sucker. As he unwrapped it, Sam made a face, “Seriously?”

“What? I eat when I'm stressed.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “You're an asshole.” Gabe popped the sucker into his mouth and smiled, “You know you love it.”

* * *

Dean woke up in the early afternoon of the next day. He opened his eyes and smiled when he saw Cas sitting up at his side, watching him closely. “Hey,” He said, sleepily. “What's goin on?”

Cas studied him for a moment and then tilted his head, “Are you alright?”

“Course.” Dean yawned, then winced when he stretched out his arms. “Shit.”

“What's wrong?” Cas said, looking a little panicked.

“Nothing, I'm just sore. Must've slept funny.” When he started to sit up, Cas jumped to support him. Confused, Dean pushed his hands away, “What're you doing? And why do you keep lookin at me like I just got shot?”

“What do you remember about last night?” Cas said, hesitantly.

Thinking back over the night, Dean remembered going to bed and after that he could only see brief flashes that made up the vague shape of a dream, but it seemed to be slipping away faster than he could recall it. “Nothing. Why?” Cas grabbed his faced and kissed him roughly, making Dean wince again, because holy shit, his whole body was sore. When Cas let go, he scooted back a little and let out a breath, he looked relieved, but he also looked a little like he might burst into tears. Dean was surprised and concerned, he leaned forward and put a hand on Cas' arm, “Hey... what's wrong? Did something happen?”

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Dean felt like he'd taken one hell of a beating, every inch of his body was sore, and his head was pounding at epic hangover levels. After throwing back some aspirin, he was sitting in the library, only half listening to the conversation swirling around him, as he watched Lina play contentedly at his feet, trying to untie his shoelaces. Dean would have thought all of them had lost their fucking marbles with this whole 'dream leech' crap, if it wasn't for the way that Cas and Sam kept looking at him, like they were afraid he might just fall down and die at any moment. Of course, now he just had to wrap his mind around the disturbing and disgusting notion that he had had a fucking leech in his brain.

Sam and Gabe had been discussing everything for the better part of an hour, while Cas was just sitting quietly next to Dean, on the opposite side of the table, absorbing everything. Gabe was sitting on top of one of the filing cabinets, chewing incessantly on the stick leftover from a sucker, while Sam read through a file he had dug up from the Men of Letters records, that he was sure was related to the dream leeches. It told the story of a town they investigated in 1942, where there was a rash of deaths and people randomly going crazy. Every death happened at night and the onset of insanity was literally overnight, and whatever it was typically only affected one person per household, per night. The government swept it under the rug, because they had no idea what was happening, but when the Men of Letters looked into it, they found a theme among the people who had to be committed, they all refused to sleep, talking about the evil in their dreams.

“Like I said, dream leech.” Gabriel said, as he hopped off the cabinet and snatched up a pile of pictures that had been paper clipped to the file, wrinkling his nose as he flipped through them.

“Yeah, fine.” Sam said, leaning back in his chair and running his fingers through his hair. “So how exactly do these _leeches_ get inside people?” He turned to Gabe, who made a face. “Oh, so now you'll believe what I have to say?”

“Stop being a dick and just tell us.” Sam said, frustratedly.

“Okay, okay, calm down, geez. For once, Cassie actually had it right, the leeches aren't like most other monsters just floatin around waiting to eat some poor bastard who stumbles across them, they're more like attack dogs.”

“So who sicked one on Dean?”

“And that, my young samsquatch, would be the real question.” Gabe said, tapping Sam on the shoulder. “You know, you should shave less often, stubble is a good look on you.” He added, with a smirk.

Sam rolled his eyes, “So I'm guessing you don't know who did this?”

“Nope, not a clue."

As soon as Gabe spoke, Cas sat up straighter, “What are you not saying?”

“I'm not...” Gabe started to say, but Cas stood up and slammed a hand down on the table, making everyone jump and Dean felt Lina grab hold of his leg. “Dean nearly died, Gabriel! What are you not saying?!” Gabe sobered and Dean and Sam both raised their eyebrows, looking back and forth between them, as the angels glared at each other. The tension was palpable.

“If you have something to say, little brother, say it.”

Cas held his gaze, “Dean, Sam, would you excuse us for a moment? I need to talk to my brother.”

“Uh, yeah, okay, sure. Bout time for dinner anyway.” Sam said, standing up quickly. Dean watched Cas' face for a second and then nodded, picked up Lina, and followed Sam out of the room.

Cas had never known a fear or a helplessness close to what he'd felt the night before, thinking that he might lose Dean, that Lina might lose her father before she was even able to remember him. He was so overwhelmed with emotions that they had all rushed together and become anger, when he saw that twitch on Gabriel's face, the one that meant he knew more than he was saying. Granted Gabriel almost always knew more than he said, it was part of being an Archangel, his knowledge was as vast as his power, but it could also be incredibly aggravating, particularly when you feel like your family is hanging in the balance.

He was well aware that his older brother could easily kick his ass—or worse—with nothing more than the snap of his fingers, which is what made his patience at his little brother's anger all the more astonishing. Without so much as a snarky reply, he allowed Cas to fume and accuse and say some truly spiteful things, before he ran out of steam and just folded his arms across his chest.

“Are you done?”

“Are you going to tell me the truth?”

“Why do you always assume that I'm keeping something from you?”

“Because you always are!”

Gabe sighed and nodded, “Well, I can't argue with you there.”

Cas was about to say something else when Gabe snapped his fingers and silenced him. “As hard as this might be for you, I need you to trust me, Cas. I'll tell you what you need to know and I'll tell you more if or when you need to know more.”

Cas still couldn't talk, so he just glowered at him and huffed through his nose.

“I don't know who sent the leech after Dean, but I will find out. As for the reason I showed up last night, well, I've put a lot of work into you idiots, so I always keep an ear open in this direction,” He gestured to the bunker surrounding them, “and I heard you...” He paused, fidgeting uncomfortably, “when you started crying.”

Castiel's face softened slightly and he nodded, he still got the feeling that there was something Gabriel wasn't saying, but in spite of his better judgment, he did trust him. Gabe snapped his fingers and Cas could speak again.

“Before you try to wrap up this little brotherly love fest, there's something else I need to tell you.” Gabe didn't say anything for a moment, as he stared down at the file on the table, “I'm sorry.” He muttered, then he looked up at him with sorrow in his eyes, something that Cas had never seen. “When I took the leech into my own mind, I also took Dean's nightmare, and I didn't mean to, but I also sort of _absorbed_ remnants of all of the thoughts and fears that the leech had been feeding on.”

Cas had always known that Dean struggled, but as Gabriel continued, he was devastated to learn the learn the full extent of that struggle.

“But you're one of the bright spots.” Gabe concluded, noting the grief on Cas' face, “For Dean, you are one of the few people that can break up that darkness, one of the few good things in his life, and he's just... he's terrified... that somehow he's gonna destroy you.”

“What should I do?”

Gabriel laughed, though to Cas' surprise, it wasn't his usual derisive laugh, as much as a gentle and affectionate sort of laugh, a laugh that reminded Cas of better times in a peaceful heaven. “How many times do I have to give you the same advice?” He moved around the table and grabbed Cas' shoulders, looking him in the eye. “Talk to him. You big moron.” He smiled, “I'll be around. Call if you need me.” Then he snapped his fingers and vanished.

* * *

It had been an hour and a half when Cas finally came out of the library. “Where's Gabriel? Did you finally kill him?” Dean said, with a half smile.

“Of course not. He left. He's going to track down the individual responsible for the leech.”

“Is everything okay between you two?” Sam asked.

“Yes, everything is fine.” He said, then turned, furrowing his brow at Lina, who was covered in a pretty decent amount of what had been her dinner. He helped her to her feet and directed her toward the door. “Come on. Let's get you cleaned up.”

“You need to talk to him.” Sam said, after they left.

Dean made a face, “What? Why?”

“Oh come on, you saw him, he's upset.”

“He said everything's fine.”

“Dean.”

“Why do I have to do it?!”

“He's your boyfriend!”

“And he said everything's...”

“DEAN.”

“FINE!”

Dean walked down to their room, where Cas was finishing up changing Lina into a different shirt. He tossed the dirty shirt into the hamper and pulled out the box that was sitting in the corner, filled with her toys. She immediately started digging through it, until she found her favorite train, then sat on the floor and started making her version of engine noises. “So...” Dean said hesitantly, closing the door behind him, but before he could say anything else, Cas swung around and wrapped his arms around his neck, burying his face in his shoulder. “Cas?” Dean said, putting his arms around him, “What's wrong?” Cas said something, but his voice was muffled in Dean's shirt.

“What?”

He leaned back, still holding Dean tightly. “You're an idiot.” He repeated.

Dean smirked, “Finally starting to catch on to that?”

Cas chuckled and kissed him, then rested his head against Dean's neck. A second later he felt someone tugging on his pant leg, “Oppy?” Lina said, looking up at the two of them with concern. Cas let go of Dean and knelt down, smiling at her as she offered him her train, “No, it's okay, you keep it. We're alright.” She looked up at Dean, then back at Cas, before she seemed to decide that everything was okay and returned to her toys.

“So, are you gonna tell me why I'm an idiot?” Dean said, as Cas stood back up.

Cas smoothed a thumb over his cheek and leaned in, kissing him again, before he spoke. “Because you're not lost, Dean, you are not a darkness, and you are not going to destroy us.”

Dean leaned back, his eyes widening, “What?” Cas stared back at him, his eyes shining with tears and filled with both frustration and sadness, in equal measures, “Do you really have no idea how much we need you... how much I need you? Not the hunter, not the righteous man, just you.”

“Cas...?”

“You have saved your brothers life in a million different ways, you raised him to be the man he is today. You were a friend to me before I even understood friendship and you have given me a family, a love, and a happiness that I never could have imagined would ever be mine.” He faltered, tears slipping down his face, “You bore our daughter and you are an amazing father. Why can't you see that you are as much the good in our lives, Dean, as we are in yours?”

Tears were threatening to form, as Dean swallowed hard, he didn't even know how to begin to respond, it was like someone had given Cas a road map of all the shadows that lingered at the back of his mind, the fears that plagued him, “Cas... I...”

“You don't have to say anything.”

Lina walked back over to them and hugged Dean's leg. “Dada?” She said, then lifted her arms, asking to be picked up. Dean lifted her with one arm and took a deep breath, as he looked back at Cas, but he still couldn't form words, nothing felt like enough, nothing felt right. Finally, he just grabbed the back of Cas' head with his other hand and pulled him forward, kissing him again, and then pressing their foreheads together. “I love you.” He said softly.

Cas smiled, “I love you too.”

* * *

Throughout the evening, Cas couldn't bring himself to pray or meditate, the memories of the night before still too fresh in his mind, making him feel uneasy. So he kept his focus on Dean, laying awake in his arms, listening carefully for any hitches in his breathing and glancing into his mind when he heard them, chasing away the frayed edges left over from the leech induced nightmare, along with the couple of times that he dreamed of himself covered in actual leeches. Thankfully, other than the occasional interruption, the night had been peaceful. Cas was still worried about there being someone out there who had targeted his family, but he also knew that he had to trust Gabriel's word and power.

Dean stirred again and Cas called him gently away from the shadow that loomed in his mind, to a peaceful dream, driving down a highway with him and Sam, listening to loud music, and just watching the world go by. Dean relaxed and tightened the arm draped over Cas' waist, curling closer to him, nuzzling his neck, and sighing contentedly. After a while, when Dean seemed settled again, Cas let his mind drift back over the day and he smiled, as he recalled the sound of the words 'I love you' falling from Dean's lips. In their couple of years together, they had never said the way they felt about each other outright, even though they both knew, and it might seem like a very small thing—especially when you consider everything else that had happened and was happening—but Cas knew that, especially coming from Dean, those little words carried an extraordinary weight. Dean did not toss them around easily or lightly, when he said it, he meant it, and as they replayed over and over again in Cas' thoughts, it was like a music that made warmth swell in his chest. He closed his eyes and stroked Dean's forearm, speaking quietly into his mind, _“I love you, Dean Winchester."_ He was never going to get tired to saying that.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

For a while, things seemed to settle. Bobby and Jody visited after they heard about the leech incident and then again for Lina's second birthday. Gabriel kept his distance from everyone, including Cas. In fact, other than the wooden train whistle painted with gold wings, that mysteriously appeared in the middle of dinner at Lina's birthday party, they didn't see or hear from him for over six months.

“What about pink?” Dean said, holding up a paint chip with various shades of pink. “That's a girly color.”

Cas squinted and tilted his head, “I don't understand, what exactly affords a color a feminine or masculine quality?”

“Because some colors are just... you know... uh...” Dean made a face, then grew silent and put the paint chip back, “Well, then what color do you want?”

“What about yellow?”

“We're not gonna paint her room yellow.”

They went back and forth for ten minutes in front of the wall of paint chips, until Dean finally grudgingly agreed to a soft green called Hidden Meadow. Sam was babysitting back at the bunker, while Dean and Cas made the trip to a larger town to hit up a Home Depot for paint and supplies to redo a room at the bunker for Lina.

The weekend after Lina's birthday, Jody had very casually brought up that Lina probably needed a 'big girl' bed now that she was practically an expert at escaping her crib, and that maybe with her own bed should come her own room. Dean had thought it was a great idea and they spent a few minutes discussing it, until Cas walked in and Jody told him about their plans.

“No. We're not doing that.” Cas said very simply.

“Come on, Cas, she'll love...”

“I said no.” Cas snapped, letting the dessert in his hand drop onto the table, before storming out of the room. It took Dean a while to get Cas to talk about it and over two months to actually get him on board with the idea. The whole leech incident had been intense for Cas, it had been scary and emotional in a very human way that he wasn't used to, and in light of that, the idea of not being able to watch over Lina through the night was more than a little unsettling. Dean understood his reluctance, it was kind of nerve racking for him too, the idea of not being _right there_ to protect her, but he also knew that they couldn't keep her glued to their sides forever. Not to mention he liked the idea of having a little more privacy with Cas. The two of them had become somewhat skilled at finding opportunities for 'alone time'—where there's a will, and all that—but it was going to be nice not to have to worry about it.

As Dean pulled the cart into one of the checkout lines, they were still semi arguing about the paint.

“Because it's a stupid name for a color.”

“I think it sounds pleasant.”

“It's green.”

“A shade of green, yes.”

“It's green.”

“She likes green.”

“Yeah, but does she like _hidden meadow_?” Dean said sarcastically. Cas ignored him and started unloading the cart onto the counter. Dean was about to say something else when his phone buzzed. He dug it out of his pocket. It was a text from Sam with a picture of Lina, half of her face and the whole front of her outfit stained purple, standing in a puddle of something purple, and making a kissy face at the camera, the text just read, **'Fucking grape juice.'** Dean chuckled and showed Cas the picture, before he texted back, **'Better you than me.'**

Two days later they had Lina's new room, which was two doors down from their own, cleaned out and painted. Garth swung by to pick up Sam for a hunt, and Dean and Cas took Lina with them to pick out some new things for her room, because Jody said it was important to include her in the process. They walked into the store that had decorative crap, house stuff, and furniture as far as the eye could see. Dean sighed, “God, I hate this already.”

They picked up a couple of new lamps, a nightlight, and a few odds and ends to make the room a bit less hunter/men of letters-ish and a bit more almost 3 year old girl friendly. Then went in pursuit of some new bedding, as neither Dean nor Cas wanted her to use the dead guy sheets and blankets that all the beds at the bunker had. Cas was holding Lina's hand, as they made their way to the kids section, when Lina suddenly gasped and pointed, “Train!” She announced and started trying to tug Cas off to the side. They followed her lead and found a comforter and sheet set, with all different kinds of trains on them. Lina stared at it wide eyed and then looked at Dean, “Daddy, train!” She said excitedly as she started trying to pull it off the shelf. “Okay, okay, I get it, let me see if they have the right size.” Dean said, crouching down and reading the tags.

After getting everything they needed, they drove most of the way home, but decided to stop for some dinner at their favorite little diner. The waitress, an older white haired woman named Maggie, who always wore bright pink lipstick that perfectly matched her bright pink glasses, smiled and waved at them when they walked in. “Hey boys!” She called from across the diner, “Ohhh! You brought the little one!” She exclaimed, noticing Lina. “Good Lord bless ya! Look at how you've grown!” She said, walking over to them and leaning down, smiling at Lina, “Hi, darlin.” Lina wrapped an arm around Cas' leg, but smiled, “Hi.” She said quietly. Maggie straightened and smiled at Dean, “Regular booth?”

Dean nodded and she led them to a booth in the corner. “Now are we doin dinner tonight or just a little coffee and pie?”

“Dinner.” Dean said, briefly glancing over the menu before ordering. Maggie went behind the counter and came back with a kids place mat and a little box of crayons. “What do you say Li?” Cas said.

“Tank you.” Lina said, with a smile.

“You are very welcome, darlin.” Maggie said, before heading back to the kitchen.

Dean sat Lina in his lap, as she ripped open the box of crayons, and immediately handed him the blue one. Cas smiled fondly, as he watched the two of them set to work coloring the little pictures on the back of the mat. He loved watching Dean like this, the way his whole body relaxed and his face softened, as he made the transition from surly hunter to loving father, it was a beautiful thing to behold.

The next day they put the finishing touches on Lina's room. Dean stood in the doorway, crossed his arms, and smiled proudly as he admired their handiwork. Despite his grumbling he really did like that he could give Lina something he never really had as a kid, not just a room, but a home. Lina seemed to like having her own space and didn't seem at all bothered by the prospect of sleeping by herself. In fact, that evening, Cas was acting more nervous than she was, so Dean wasn't at all surprised when he woke up late in the night and found Cas missing. He rolled over and sighed, as he started to quietly pray to him to let Lina be, until he heard Cas yell something, followed by a crash. Dean jumped out of bed and tore down the hall and into Lina's room. He swung the door open just in time to see a man with Lina wrapped in one arm disappear and Cas spring to his feet and disappear too. “CAS!” Dean yelled, then he just stared dumbfounded and horrified at the empty room, he had no idea what was going on, but someone had just taken Lina. _Dear god, someone just took Lina!_   “Gabr...!” Before he even finished the name, he heard a rush of wings and spun around, but was greeted by two unfamiliar faces, both of them manifesting angel blades and smirking at him wickedly.

* * *

Cas didn't know how he had known, he'd been meditating when he felt something, like an electrical spark in his mind, and somehow he just knew that Lina was in distress. He flew to her room and found an angel picking her up, with a hand over her mouth to muffle her crying. “JEHU, NO!” The angel raised a hand and Cas was thrown backwards against the dresser. The second before Jehu flew away, Dean came crashing through the door. Cas sprang to his feet and flew after them, only distantly hearing Dean call his name. Jehu flew hard, crossing oceans, deserts, glaciers, and city after city. Cas didn't know why he wasn't heading for heaven, he assumed that he was probably trying to lose him, but that was not going to happen. Cas called once for Gabriel, but focused on flying, staying hot on the other angel's heels, continuing to feel that spark, the pull of his daughters fear. Finally, Jehu circled around and dropped, touching down in the middle of a freeway in Los Angeles, with Cas touching down seconds after him, both of them breathing hard. There was lots of squealing and the smell of burnt rubber hung in the air, as cars slammed on their breaks and swerved, crashing into each other and the divider walls trying to avoid the men who had just appeared in the middle of the road.

“Give her to me!” Cas demanded.

Jehu laughed, “I can't do that, brother.”

Cas manifested an angel blade, “Jehu, give her to me NOW!”

“You brought this on yourself, allowing humanity to taint your pure angelic mind, choosing to live among these mud monkeys, to wear their skin, and participate in their pathetic rituals.” People were honking their horns and starting to get out of their cars, shouting at them. “Just look at all of them, brother... worthless, disgusting.” He grimaced, as he manifested his own blade. “You have to choose, Castiel.”

“Jehu! Let her go!”

“You can't have both! We have to keep ourselves pure, pure of this filth!”

Cas heard the beat of wings and Gabriel appeared next to him, “Wouldn't do that if I were you.” He said, seeming totally relaxed.

Jehu clutched Lina tighter, as she squirmed and cried, he pressed the blade against her throat. “I'm not afraid of you, Gabriel! If you move, I'll gut it!”

Gabriel laughed and held up his hands, “Oh, don't worry, Hughie. I'm not gonna do anything.” He scratched his chin, “See there's this saying among humans, that you should never get between a mother bear and her cub, and apparently,” He smirked and glanced over Jehu's shoulder, “The same goes for a sasquatch and his niece.” Just as Jehu was about to turn, Sam stabbed an angel blade through his neck, there was a bright flash and he collapsed. Cas rushed forwards and snatched up Lina before she hit the ground. Gabriel looked around at the crowd of horrified people that surrounded them, smiled and shrugged, “Tried to warn him!” He called, then he raised his hand to snap his fingers, but suddenly froze, his face turning serious as he angled his head like he was listening. “What's going on?” Castiel asked.

“Damn it!”

“Gabriel?”

“Jehu was a distraction. They took Dean.” Gabe said and snapped his fingers.

* * *

Lina was clinging to Cas' t-shirt and crying uncontrollably when they appeared back at the bunker. “We'll hole you guys up in here,” Gabriel said, “but first...” He disappeared and reappeared a moment later with a very startled Bobby and Jody, who were both in PJ's. “What the...?!”

“Sam can explain.” Gabriel said, then he picked up a bowl, it instantly filled with his own blood, and he warded the bunker just like they had before. Cas turned to hand Lina over to Sam, “What are you doing?” Gabriel asked.

“I'm coming with you.”

“Listen, Cas...”

Castiel's eye's flashed, “They took Dean. I'm coming with you.” He said fiercely.

Gabriel nodded, “Okay.” Then he turned to Sam, who was handing Lina over to Bobby, "No."

"What? Gabe, he's my brother!"

"So help me, Sam, I will turn you into a car again!" Sam frowned at him, but quieted, “Now, I'm gonna leave a couple of guards here.” Gabe said, as he waved in two young girls, twins apparently (or at least twin vessels), they both looked too young to be guards (maybe sixteen at the most). “This is Shiphrah and Puah. If you need anything, just ask them.” Gabriel paused and looked pointedly at Sam, “You can trust them.” Sam understood and he nodded.

"Poppy!" Lina cried out again, when Cas moved to leave. He walked back to her and kissed her on the forehead, “It's okay.” He said softly, “You're going to stay here, alright? Be good, I have to go get daddy.” She stuck out her lip and tried to reach for him, Cas looked at Gabriel, “She'll be safe here?”

“I personally guarantee it.”

“I'll protect her, Cas.” Sam said with a smile, even though his face was shaded with concern. “Go find Dean.”

* * *

Dean felt something cool against his cheek as he slowly regained consciousness, his head was pounding, and his vision swam. _Damn fucking angels._ He thought, as he carefully pulled himself to a sitting position, rubbing at his head, he glanced around, taking in his surroundings. The room was stone, lit by a single bulb over his head, there were no windows, and the door was metal, it looked like some kind of cell. The reality of what had happened came flooding back and he scrambled to his feet, “Lina!” He yelled, as he rushed the door, slamming against it with all of his weight, it didn't budge. Dean stepped back and whispered a prayer to Castiel and then to Gabriel, but nothing happened. He ran up to the door again and pounded his fists against it. “GET YOUR FEATHERY ASSES IN HERE YOU FUCKING COWARDS! WHERE'S MY DAUGHTER!?” He kept pounding and screaming obscenities, until finally, after what had to have been at least a half hour, the door creaked and swung open sending Dean reeling backwards, and the same two angels from before stepped into the cell. “Shut your mouth, ape.”

Dean found his feet and ran at them, “WHERE IS SHE?!” One of them swung his fist, it connected with Dean's chest and sent him flying against the wall. “I said, shut your mouth.” The one angel said, as the other shut the door behind them.

Dean coughed and rubbed his chest, "I remember when people used to think angels were the good guys."

" _People_ never had the right to an opinion."

"Ya know, I've known a couple of Archangels who thought that, wonder what happened to them." Dean said, with a smirk.

"You worthless monkey!" One angel shouted, throwing up his hand and Dean felt a rib crack as he hit the wall again. After that the two angels took turns beating the shit out of him for an unknown period of time. Dean tried to protect himself as best he could, but he knew that fighting back was useless, he just had to survive, and thankfully they didn't seem intent on killing him. He had been through worse. They paused for a moment and Dean spit out a mouthful of blood and what he was pretty sure were at least two of his teeth, "That all you got, assholes?" They didn't answer, instead they grabbed Dean, pushed him onto his knees, and pulled his arms behind his back at an awkward angle that forced him to bend over, with his forehead almost touching the ground. Dean could hear footsteps, before the door opened again. "Let him up." It was a woman's voice and the angels obeyed, releasing Dean's arms so he could sit back.

“So this is _the_ Dean Winchester.” The woman was tall and slender, with short brown hair streaked with blonde. She looked him over and raised an eyebrow, “Apparently the stories have been a gross exaggeration.”

“Where's my daughter?”

“How about a polite hello first?”

“Fuck you.”

One of the angels cracked Dean across the face, he groaned, but pulled himself back up.

The woman looked at him with disdain, “Such a vulgar little snail, hard to believe you are the ape that brought down the great Castiel.”

Dean looked up at her and smiled, blood dripping out of his mouth, “What can I say, guess this ass is just too sweet to pass up. Now, where is my daughter, bitch?!”

“All in due time, I'd be more worried about yourself right now.” She motioned to the two angels, “Remember for the time being, I need him alive, but other than that...” She turned to leave, “please feel free to get creative.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Sam took a deep breath, as he watched Lina sleeping quietly, curled against Bobby. She had cried for a long time after Cas left, he and Jody had tried their best to calm her, but she just kept screaming for Daddy and Poppy, and she shrieked if Shiphrah or Puah came anywhere near her. Finally, Bobby picked her up without a word and sat in Dean's chair in the den, she tried to twist away from him, but he just kept a gentle hold on her and shushed her, until she finally buried her head in his shirt and cried until she fell asleep. Sam covered her with the blanket that had been in her crib (and has since turned into a kind of comfort item) and sat down next to Jody on the couch. Shiphrah and Puah stood quietly by the door, listening carefully, one of them keeping a keen eye inside the room, the other watching the hallway.

He explained everything he knew about the situation to Bobby and Jody, which thinking back over the day, really wasn't much. He had wrapped up the job with Garth and gotten back to his room at a little motel outside of Durham, North Carolina. He showered and dropped onto his stomach on the bed to get some much needed sleep, when he felt a rush of air and Gabriel appeared, stretched out on the other bed, tossing back a handful of candy.

Sam jumped and then groaned, “Gabe, seriously, that's not funny.”

“It's still a little funny.” Gabe said, smirking at him.

“No, it's not.”

Gabriel held up the bag in his hand, “Smarties?”

“I'm tired, I want to go to sleep.”

“Okay.” Gabe paused and then held up the bag again, but this time it was a different color, “Skittles?”

Sam glared at him for a second, then extended his hand, Gabe poured some into his palm and he rolled over and popped a few into his mouth. “So where've you been?” He said, between mouthful's. He had gotten used to Gabriel occasionally showing up when he was out on hunts, but the visits suddenly stopped after the leech incident, and he had just been starting to get used to him not showing up. It wasn't like he was worried or missed him or anything, he was just curious, as much of a dick as Gabe was most of the time, it really wasn't like him to never touch base.

“Oh, you know me, kickin ass, stirrin up shit, the usual.”

“Cas has been a little worried about you.”

“Yeah. I know. It's just been... busy.” Gabe glanced at Sam and then cleared his throat awkwardly, “Let's watch some TV.”

"Whatever." Sam muttered, as Gabriel snatched up the remote and turned on the television.

“Ohhh... infomercials.”

Sam draped his arm over his eyes and groaned again, “I hate you.”

“I know.” Gabe said, with a smile. “I hope they have the one for the...”

“For the what?” Sam said, when Gabriel's voice trailed off. He lifted his arm to look at him, then sat up when he caught the serious expression on his face. Gabriel manifested an angel blade and tossed it to him. “Take this.” He said quickly, then snapped his fingers and Sam found himself standing in the middle of a freeway, behind a man that was holding an angel blade to Lina's throat.

“Then I guess he heard something and realized that the asshole was some kind of distraction, so they could grab Dean.”

“But I thought they wanted...” Jody paused and nodded at Lina.

“Yeah, I don't know.” Sam said, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I'm sure it's all part of some crazy fucked up plan. I just hope... I mean...” He paused and bit his lip, staring at his shoes. Jody scooted closer and put a hand on his back, “It's gonna be okay.”

“I wasn't here.” Sam said, digging his thumb into his leg, trying to stay calm, because he really wasn't sure if he wanted to lash out at someone or just cry.

“It's not your fault, Sam. You helped save Lina and you know Dean would have kicked your ass if you'd done anything different.”

“And Dean's a tough son of a bitch. He'll be okay.” Bobby added.

“Yeah,” Jody said, rubbing his back gently. “Cas is gonna find him and I tell ya, seeing the look on his face when he left, I wouldn't wanna be the one that took him.”

* * *

Gabriel and Cas flew back to heaven, appearing at the base of the great spiral staircase in Gabriel's house,—Angels don't really need houses, but his time on earth had made Gabe attached to having a place to call home—where Balthazar and an angel named Thomas met them. They all followed Gabriel up the stairs to what he called his office, but was really more like a giant meeting room, the walls were lined with bookshelves and maps, and there was a huge table in the middle of the room, covered in all manner of documents. “She made her move?” Gabe asked, looking at Balthazar.

“Yes, she did.”

“But I thought her goal was Lina?”

“And I told you there was something going on.” Balthazar said, “But god forbid anyone should listen to me.”

“Not the time.” Gabriel said, then motioned to Thomas, “Grab those files.”

Castiel stood a little back from the table, observing quietly as the three other angels pulled maps and documents off of shelves and laid them out on the table, discussing hideouts and what their next move should be. Gabriel had snapped him into a different outfit when they left the bunker (he hadn't even realized that he was still wearing pajamas) and he kept his hands in the pockets of his trench coat, trying to keep himself calm, as his mind raced. He knew that he needed to wait, needed to be patient, but all he could think about was where Dean might be and what might be happening to him. Traditionally angels were viewed as good, righteous, merciful, but Cas knew well that given the right set of circumstances, they could match or even exceed the cruelty of any demon or monster. He knew what techniques they might use on Dean, all the ways they could torture him, and that was if they even kept him alive at all. The thought made a pit form in his stomach, it was worse than what he'd felt when he rebelled against heaven, or stood against Michael and Lucifer. He wanted to hurry everything up, he wanted to leave right now and tear heaven apart, he wanted his hunter back by his side right now, and if he found out that anyone had so much as laid a finger on him... The wood floor under Cas' feet buckled. Everyone stopped and looked up, “Cas?” Balthazar said, cautiously.

“I'm sorry.” Cas said, the light that had flashed in his eyes quickly disappearing, “I didn't mean to do that.”

“It's okay.” Gabriel said, looking back at the maps on the table, “Come look at this? Think we have a pretty solid idea where she's holding Dean.”

“She?” Castiel asked, as he walked up next to Gabriel, realizing that he hadn't really been paying attention.

“Yeah.” Gabe sighed and nodded, “Reumah.”

* * *

 Sam didn't know how long he'd been staring into the fridge, he wasn't hungry, in fact, he wasn't even totally sure why he'd come into the kitchen in the first place. He knew that Jody was concerned that he hadn't eaten, but he couldn't bring himself to think about food, he felt guilty and angry and helpless knowing that Dean was somewhere enduring god knows what and he was stuck in the fucking bunker, not even out looking for him. He just wished that he had some idea of what was happening, but the angel warding cut all of them off from communication with heaven. The waiting around was agonizing, he needed to be up, to be out there, doing... something, anything.

“Are you alright?”

Sam spun around at the unfamiliar voice, drawing the angel blade out of his jacket, and holding it up, poised to strike. He lowered the weapon and let out a breath, when he found one of the twins standing behind him, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.” She said, quickly backing up a couple of steps.

“It's okay, sorry. I'm just a little jumpy.” He said, stowing the blade back in his jacket.

“I understand, Mr. Winchester. Did you find something to eat?”

“No. I mean, I'm not really hungry. And you don't have to call me Mr. Winchester, umm... what was your name again?”

“Puah, sir.”

He huffed a laugh, “You can drop the sir too, Sam is fine.”

Puah blushed a little, “Alright, thank you.”

Sam tilted his head, he still hadn't really figured out the 'guards' that Gabriel had left to watch over them. Aside from the strangeness of them being identical twins, with pale skin and fiery red hair, they seemed odd for angels, they were sweet and soft spoken and had been endlessly gentle and patient with Lina. He hadn't seen any of the usual cold, calculated behavior that he'd come to expect from the heavenly host. “So what, are you two like Gabe's secret angelic ninja teenagers?”

She looked a little confused, “I'm sorry?”

“Nothing, you and your sister just don't really seem like guards.” He paused, “I mean, I assumed that Shiphrah is your sister.”

“Yes, sir, she is.”

“Not _sir_ , just Sam.”

“Sorry, si... um... Sam.” Puah said his name carefully, almost reverently and Sam was about to say something else, when Jody, Bobby, and Shiphrah came around the corner. Lina was awake and seemed a little more settled, but obviously had no desire to leave the comfort of Bobby's arms, as she was resting against his chest and maintaining a pretty firm grip on his shirt. “We've come for juice.” Jody said, with a smile.

Sam turned and opened the fridge again, grabbing Lina's juice out of the door. “There was a news report on everything that happened in Los Angeles.” Jody said, as she pulled a cup down from one of the cabinets and handed it to Sam.

“Really?”

“Yeah, they said there was a multi car pile up, but the cause of the crash is still unknown. I guess witnesses are saying that people just suddenly lost control of their cars and were slamming on their breaks for _no reason at all_.” Jody said smugly.

Sam just smirked, sometimes it was really nice having an Archangel around.

* * *

“Are you sure?” Castiel said, furrowing his brow as he leaned down, studying the map. It wasn't exactly a shock, but it wasn't good either. Reumah had been a valiant soldier, she was experienced with all forms of warfare, as well as, 'interrogation'—the thought made Cas cringe—she had led three different garrisons in her time, and possessed a natural talent for spellwork. She had also long been counted as a friend and had seemed devoted to freeing the angels and protecting humanity. Early in the war, Gabriel had placed her in charge of a large portion of his army, and she was one of the first angels that he called upon the day that he moved to stop Raphael from kidnapping Lina. He trusted her, which is why his guard was down when she hit him with the spell that bound his power. Gabriel had been close to Reumah since she was small, so Cas knew that her betrayal and defection to Raphael cut Gabriel more deeply than he would ever admit.

“Yes,” Gabe said, smoothing out the corner of the map, “She's been bringing together the other loyalists, quietly trying to get a new movement started.”

“She's also gotten more than a few undecided angels to join her so called movement.” Balthazar added, sitting in one of the chairs and crossing his legs, “She's spreading the same propaganda as dear old Raph. Humans are the bane of our existence, need to be wiped out, maintain angelic purity, blah, blah, blah, let's kill everybody.”

Cas winced a little and Gabriel shot Balthazar a look. “Don't worry, Cas.” Gabe said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“She's going to be expecting us.” Balthazar continued, tapping a finger on the arm of the chair, “In fact, that might be the whole point of this kidnapping.”

Gabe smirked, “Yep. Kinda countin on that.” Thomas cleared his throat from behind them. “Something to add, Tom?”

“Well, sir, Reumah is going to be a formidable opponent, we don't have accurate knowledge of how many angels she has working for her, and we don't really know what she has planned. I don't mean to speak out of turn, but is this mission really worth the risk? I mean, we don't even know if the human is still alive.” The words had barely left Thomas' mouth when Castiel swung around and grabbed him by the throat with one hand, lifting him several inches off the ground. “What did you say?!” He growled, as his eyes lit up. “That _human_ is Dean Winchester, who has saved the world and heaven, who has put himself in harms way for others a thousand times...” The floor under Cas buckled again, as Thomas sputtered and kicked, clawing at his hand, but Castiel's grip didn't loosen. “He is my love...” His voice rose and the floor started to split open, the fissure traveled along the wood and up one of the walls, making the book shelves ten feet behind him collapse, “AND HE IS WORTH EVERY RISK!” Castiel's words boomed, making the whole room shake and the glass in the windows crack.

Gabriel walked up and put a hand on Cas' arm. “Cas.” He said softly, “Let him go.” For a moment, Castiel didn't react, but then the light in his eyes started to dissipate and he let Thomas drop. Gabe looked at Thomas, who was coughing and rubbing his throat gingerly, staring wide eyed at Cas. “The mission is voluntary and yes, it's worth the risk. Now put the word out.” Thomas stood up, straightened out his suit, and left with a curt nod.

Balthazar chuckled, as he stood and started for the door, “Voluntary angel missions, darling Castiel almost killing my assistant, what is heaven coming to?”

“Balthazar.”

“We'll be ready in an hour.” Balthazar said, with a wave over his shoulder.

Gabe nodded and Balthazar left, closing the door behind him. Cas was leaning against the table, squeezing his eyes closed, his whole body was shaking. “They're still learning.” Gabe said, a bottle and two glasses appearing on the table. He poured them both drinks and slid one across to Cas, before dropping back into a chair, “They still don't really understand yet.”

“I know.” Cas muttered, “I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. They might not get it, but I do.”

* * *

Cas stood near the back wall and looked out over the group of angels that were crowding the foyer of Gabriel's house. He couldn't believe how many had volunteered for the mission and was even more surprised when he learned that the group he was looking at was what was left _after_ Gabriel and Balthazar had trimmed the list down. He ducked his head a little, when he saw Thomas walking among the angels, getting a head count. Thomas had made a point of avoiding going anywhere near him and though Cas did feel bad for hurting the younger angel and knew that he should probably apologize, he was still angry, he resented the very idea that anyone could ever think of Dean Winchester as if he meant nothing.

“Good group.”

He turned and smiled, as an angel named Deborah stepped up next to him.

“Yes. Very. You volunteered?”

“Wouldn't miss it.” She said, with a smile, looking out at the crowd. Deborah was one of the few angels that seemed to be relishing her newfound freedom. She was black, shorter than most angels, had dreads that fell to her waist, and preferred to wear a tank top and pants with, what the other angels considered, a ridiculous amount of pockets, in lieu of a suit (now that she had a choice in the matter). If you didn't know her, she would be easy to underestimate, but she was actually about the same age as Cas, had started her training as a soldier the same time as him and was one of the fiercest warriors he had ever seen. In the old heaven, she was never placed in charge of a garrison, because she had a habit of disagreeing with her superiors. Now she actually chose not to lead, because she preferred to serve as a soldier. Though a few months prior, she did accept a position training other soldiers. Gabriel said that her skill with angel blades (much like Gabriel himself, she chose to wield two instead of one) made her the obvious choice to instruct other angels in the skill. She had always been a bit of a rebel as far as angels go, and that left her ostracized from her angelic family a good deal of the time, so it was funny for Cas, seeing her now and seeing the way the other angels looked up to her, as a role model.

“Thank you...” Cas said, because it really did mean a lot that she was there. “Though I have to admit, I'm a little surprised that so many want to help.”

She smiled knowingly, “Really? It doesn't surprise me at all.”

“Why?”

“Cas,” Gabriel called from across the room, “We're ready.”

Deborah put a hand on his shoulder, “Hope.” She said quietly, then winked at him and walked back to the group.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> So I noticed that I have reached over 400 kudos on this story. Are you kidding me?! When did that happen?! I love you guys so much!

Dean didn't know. He'd lost count. The bruises and cuts, the burns and broken bones, the dislocated joints, how many times he'd stopped breathing, how many times his heart had stopped. He didn't know how many hours he'd been here, or maybe it was days now, it didn't matter, it was just one long blur of pain. They never asked questions, they didn't seem to want anything from him, but at the instruction of the mysterious woman, they also didn't want to kill him. So when necessary the angels that tortured him would heal him just enough to prevent his death. A cruelty more than a kindness. Sometimes other angels came into the room, wanting to try their hand at torture. They would laugh and talk about how weak and pathetic he was, how they didn't understand how God could have ever valued such creatures, but for Dean it was all just background noise. When he couldn't move anymore, couldn't do anything except lay there and accept the inevitable, that's when he escaped the only way he could. He withdrew into the farthest corner of his mind, the angels being too wrapped up in hurting him and gloating about it to even notice, as he turned his thoughts to memories of his family, of the people he loved, the people that he needed to get back to.

He thought about when he was a kid and Sam got the flu one time when their Dad was out on a hunt. He was scared, because Sam's fever kept getting higher. Finally, when nothing seemed to be helping, he walked down to a 24-hour drug store and stole a bottle of children's Tylenol. Even though Sam was only six and looked half dead, he still took the time to lecture Dean about how wrong it was to steal.

He thought about the times when their Dad would drop him and Sam off at Bobby's house and Bobby would assure John that they were going to work on some hunting skill or other, he would swear up and down that they were going to practice with knives or shoot targets. Then after he left, Bobby would take them to the park, or to the movies, or out for pizza and ice cream.

Images flickered continuously behind Dean's eyes: Garth laughing at an episode of Sesame Street, Jody cracking an egg over his head when he called her a bitch, Bobby putting an arm around Jody and looking genuinely happy since Dean couldn't even remember when, the truly epic bitchface's that Sam reserved just for him, Gabriel smiling softly as he handed him his newborn daughter, Castiel's face when he felt his daughter kick for the first time, Cas in a rocking chair, with Lina snuggled against his chest, rocking slowly back and forth, staring at her like she was the center of the universe. _Cas._ The image paused and he fought to recall everything, every tiny detail of that moment. “Are they on their way?” The image started to fade, when he heard the edge of a woman's voice. “And Castiel is with them? Good.”

The words wrenched him from his thoughts and he tensed as he heard the woman move closer. “How are we, Dean? Feeling a bit more polite?” He wanted to curse or spit or something, but his face was too smashed and swollen for him to even open his eyes, let alone speak. “What? No spiteful reply? I'm a little disappointed.” She sounded close, like she might be standing over him. “I guess you heard, Castiel is on his way to rescue you. In fact, he should be here any time. It's too bad really.” Dean jerked toward her reflexively and she laughed. A second later he was hurled through the air and against the wall. When he hit the floor again, the pain that tore through his broken body was so violent, if he could have, he would have screamed. As he started to feel the pull of unconsciousness, he could hear the woman's footsteps coming closer again, “Oh, I'm sorry, did that hurt?” She said mockingly, “Don't worry, your end will come, ape.” He could feel her hand running through his hair and right before he blacked out, she leaned down and whispered, “Just as soon as dear little Castiel is here to watch.”

* * *

The building where Reumah and her force were holed up, was practically a mini fortress, half buried in the middle of an open plain. Everyone knew that surprise wasn't going to be an option, so most of the angels had thought that hard and fast would be their best bet, until of course Gabriel told them his actual plan. “Nope.” He had said with a smile.

“So then what exactly are we doing?” Deborah asked.

“Well, first, I thought we should knock and ask politely.”

“I'm... sorry?”

“Yeah, we're gonna fly out and request that they hand Dean over and give up.”

It took everyone a while to realize and accept that he wasn't actually kidding. Cas didn't know what to think, Gabriel's plan was probably the strangest he had ever heard, but his brother wasn't stupid, he had to have some kind of reason. When they had flown most of the way to the building, Gabe ordered everyone to drop and once they were on the ground, he broke the angels up into groups and instructed them to take up positions all around the fortress and wait. He told them that they were not to enter until they got the signal. Then he nodded at Cas and Deborah, “You two come with me.” He turned and started walking towards the building, as the angels hurried to their assigned locations.

“Gabriel, what are you doing?” Castiel asked, catching up to him. “Why are you leaving everyone else outside? We're going to need their help.”

“Yes we will, but it'll be safer for them not to get involved yet.”

“What does that mean?!”

“Trust me, Cassie. It's gonna be fine.”

Cas was trying very hard not to get angry and jump to conclusions, but he was having a difficult enough time keeping his emotions in check, without Gabriel pulling some crazy stunt. He glanced at Deborah, who just shrugged. The three of them strolled up to the building and were quickly met by the six angels guarding the entrance, who all manifested angel blades and moved like they were going to attack. Gabriel held up a hand, “Hey, hey, keep your panties on, boys. We're not here to fight. We just want Dean Winchester, so if you could go grab him for us, that'd be great.” They all looked thoroughly confused. “Really? You're gonna say no, just like that? Okay.” He snapped his fingers and all six dropped to the ground unconscious. “Figured it was a bit of a long shot.” He said over his shoulder, as he stepped over three of them and pulled the door open.

They walked into the building and immediately could feel the pressure of some kind of spell that was limiting their ability to fly and cutting them off from angel radio. They followed the sound of commotion down the hallway that led to the underground portion of the building. They rounded a corner and found the main room, but as soon as they had taken a few steps into the room, there was a rush of sound and air. Gabriel's wings flew open and threw both Castiel and Deborah backward, away from him, just as the ground around him lit up with holy fire. “I must say, that was easier than I thought.” Reumah said, from across the room, where she was sitting on a table, surrounded by at least twenty angels. “Go get them, kill her, bring Castiel to me.” She said, sending a group of angels after Deborah and Cas.

Castiel was about to rush to Gabriel's aid, when the Archangel looked back at him. “It's okay, go find Dean and get him out.” He said calmly. Cas was confused, but he nodded anyway and he and Deborah took off running down the hallway. _What is going on?_ He thought. Gabriel seemed completely relaxed, like he wasn't worried at all.

“Is that really it?” Reumah said, sliding off the table and walking toward Gabriel. “Heaven's most fearsome weapon, the Archangel Gabriel, gets caught in a simple trap, again. That's a little sad.”

Gabriel shook his head, “What happened to you, Rue?”

“You might say, I saw the light.”

“Ah.” Gabe smirked, “You know, it's amazing how often that statement goes hand in hand with _really_ bad things.”

“You don't understand, you never did, you spent all of that time hiding among humans, they corrupted you and you never even noticed.”

“Corrupted? Well, I guess that's one way to put it, personally I'd go with improved, enriched, maybe even ameliorated, I mean, if you wanna get fancy about it.”

“It's pathetic how far humanity has dragged you down, how far it has dragged down so many that used to be truly great. Raphael understood, he knew the truth, he knew what our Father wanted.”

“What our Father wanted?! Our Father created humans, he loved them!” Gabriel said, anger rising in his voice. “Do you really believe that THIS is what He wanted?!”

“Humans are nothing more than a failed experiment attempting to recreate the perfection of the angel. And if our Father had not been so sentimental about them, he would have done what was necessary long ago!”

“To recreate us?” Gabe sighed, “You're wrong, little sister. Humans were never supposed to recreate us, they're better than we are... they were supposed to improve us.”

“How can you even say that?!”

“Why else do you think our Father would program us to love humans, even give us the capacity to fall in love with them? Why do you think He would create an instinct in our very grace that enables it to bind with a human soul and create life!? Pure angel/human life!”

“Pure? There is nothing pure about Castiel and that mud monkey and there is nothing pure about the spawn they created! But it doesn't matter anymore, the situation will be dealt with on all sides.”

Gabriel frowned, “What's that supposed to mean?”

“It means, I figured it out. The real symbol of hope, is not that little abomination, I mean certainly she will have to be eliminated, but the real hope that's poisoning the angels is the two of them,” She waved her hand in the vague direction that Castiel had run, “The angel and the ape.”

Gabe raised his eyebrows and tapped his chin, “So let me get this straight, this was actually your big plan, to take Dean and use him to lure Cas to you?” He paused and then burst out laughing. Reumah stomped closer to him, “What is so funny?! In case you didn't notice, it worked!” Gabe wiped at his eye, “No, no, I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh, it's just... angels, man!” It took another few seconds of laughter for him to be able to talk again, “I mean, this is the problem, you have all this knowledge and you make these big crazy schemes, but somehow you still forget the most obvious things!” 

"Oh well please, do enlighten us."

"Emotion. Just like Raphael, and Michael, and Lucifer, and so many others, you forgot about emotion. You think that anything outside of the mindless zombie state is something horrible and disgusting, so you have no idea how emotions really effect humans, let alone how they can effect angels. Though of course, my guess is that you're gonna figure out the latter very soon."

Reumah laughed, "These stupid tactics won't work on me. You're the one that brought Castiel to his death and you can't do anything about it.”

Gabe narrowed his eyes at her, as a devious smile spread across his face, “Hate to break it to ya, Reubes, but I was never gonna do anything. My whole plan was just to get in and then get the hell out of the way.”

* * *

Castiel and Deborah ran down the hallway, which followed the whole building in a large U shape. They could hear angels coming after them, as they busted into room after room, but there was nothing. Cas could feel the pit in his stomach grow, he was desperate, he needed to find Dean, he had to find him, he had to be here and he had to be alive. They crashed into another room, with a door inside it, that was being guarded by two angels. “Let us through.” Cas said, fear and anger tearing at his chest, as they could hear the other angels getting closer.

“Can't do that, broth...”

Before the angel could say another word, Deborah sprang forward, blades in hand and dropped both of them. She spun on Cas, “We don't have time for this.” The door led down a set of stairs and into a narrow hallway, which ended at a metal door. Cas grabbed the edge of the door and ripped it from it's hinges. He looked into the stone cell and froze. Two angels were standing over something in the middle of the room. It took Cas a second to realize what, or rather, who they were standing over. The moment he saw the blood on the angels' hands and clothes, he didn't hesitate, he didn't even think, within moments the two angels were dead at his feet. He rushed to Dean and dropped to his knees next to him, “Dean. Dean. I'm here.” He said. He could barely see the glow of Dean's soul and he felt sick, as he tried to straighten him, his body was a mess of torn flesh and twisted limbs, far too destroyed to heal in a single touch. Tears were stinging his eyes, when Deborah grabbed his shoulder. “Come on, Cas, we need to go!” The sound of the other angels coming down the stairs reverberated through the room.

Cas started to lift Dean and he made a small sound, but Cas could feel how much pain he was in. “I'm sorry.” He said, setting him back on the ground. “I'm so sorry.” He looked around the room, there had to be another way out, if only he could just fly, just fly him back to the bunker, back to Lina and Sam and safety. He heard Deborah shout as she took down an angel that had reached the door. Cas stood up and turned, he knew what he needed to do, he wasn't afraid anymore, he wasn't panicking, he needed to get Dean out right now and no one was going to stand in his way. “Take him and follow me.” He barked at Deborah. She started to argue, until she turned and saw the anger on his face, then she nodded and ran over to Dean, lifting him carefully. Light flooded the room, emanating from Castiel, as the ground began to shake.

Cas twirled the angel blade in his hand and muttered, “To touch Dean Winchester, was a mistake.” Before charging down the hallway.

* * *

Gabriel rocked back on his heels. “You know you brought this on yourself.” He said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Excuse me?” Reumah said with a chuckle, from her seat across the room.

“You were my friend and I gave you a chance, I gave you two chances.”

“Your mistake.”

“I guess so.” Gabe sighed again, “I mean, I knew you had some messed up ideas, but the leech, that was the last straw.” Gabe caught the flash of confusion on Reumah's face, before she schooled her expression back to neutral. “That's what you get.” She said, obviously trying to act like she knew what he was talking about.

“Then it wasn't you.” Gabriel said quietly and then frowned, staring at the holy fire that surrounded him, “That's what I was afraid of.” Reumah acted like she was going to say something else, but the building started to shake and she jumped up. “What was that?” She asked the angels standing around her. Gabriel smirked and a few seconds later there was a series of loud crashes, followed by yelling and bright flashes. Gabe ducked just before the door blew inwards, flying across the room with such force that it became buried in the opposite wall. A second later, two angels were thrown in after it and landed on the holy fire, allowing Gabe to step out of the circle. Cas was just outside the door, fully transformed, lighting up the hallway, he was fury personified. Reumah commanded the other angels to go after him, but when Cas started into the room, Gabriel stepped in front of him. “No.” He said, glancing over Cas' shoulder and cringing slightly at Dean's mangled form. “Signal the others, you two get Dean safe.”

Cas nodded and they ran back down the hall toward the buildings only exit. Castiel blew the doors open and yelled for the other angels, who zapped to the entrance and ran inside to help Gabriel. A few of them taken aback at the brief glances of Dean in Deborah's arms. “Come on.” He said and they both vanished and reappeared at the bunker.

* * *

“If you don't stop that, I'm gonna have to shoot you.”

Sam stopped pacing and smiled at Bobby. “Sorry.” He said, forcing himself to sit in one of the chairs. He knew that he was driving everyone crazy, hell, he was driving himself crazy, but he couldn't sit still, he needed to know what was happening. They were all sitting around the library now. Lina was still in Bobby's lap, sipping on juice and watching Sam intently. Jody and Puah had gone to the kitchen to make food for everyone and Shiphrah was standing in the atrium, leaning against the map table, watching all of them.

Jody walked back into the room carrying a tray of sandwiches, “Okay, we've got...” She was interrupted by a loud pounding. Shiphrah and Puah nodded at each other, before Shiphrah turned, “Take her back to the den.” She ordered. Bobby, Jody, and Sam (with angel blade in hand) took Lina and ran down the hallway, closing themselves in the den. Lina was already on the verge of crying again, as they waited anxiously. After a while, a knock came at the door, followed by Shiphrah's voice, “It's okay. Everything's okay.” They opened the door and she stepped into the room. “What's going on?” Sam said.

“It's Castiel, he came back with Mr. Winchester.”

Relief washed over Sam and he immediately pushed passed her and hurried toward the door into Dean's room, where Puah was standing, but she stopped him before he could go in. “He's going to be okay.” She said softly. Sam looked into the room and felt like he couldn't breathe, his brothers body was so badly broken that he barely looked human. Cas was sitting on the bed next to him holding both hands over Dean's chest and there was an angel Sam didn't know standing on the other side of the bed, holding two fingers against Dean's forehead. Puah put a hand on Sam's arm, “He's okay, please, sir... Sam... he just needs time.”

Bobby and Jody kept Lina in the den, Shiphrah stayed nearby to keep an eye on them, while Sam and Puah waited in the hallway. Eventually the angel that Sam didn't know came out of the room. “How is he?” Sam asked.

“Stable and a lot better than he was. ” She smiled, “I'm Deborah, by the way.”

“Sam.” He said with a nod, “What happened? Where's Gabe?”

“He stayed behind to handle Reumah and the rest of the loyalists.”

“Reumah?”

“It's a long story, come on,” She gestured to both Sam and Puah, “let's give them a little space and I'll tell you all about it.”

* * *

Dean had heard the noises and felt the movement, and he couldn't even begin to explain what he felt hearing Cas' voice. He had wanted to say something, to help somehow, but after he was picked up, the pain was severe enough that he started fading in and out of consciousness. In fact, he didn't remember a whole lot, until he started to feel a warmth all through his body. It reminded him of what he used to feel when Gabe would do his check-ups, back when he was still pregnant with Lina. As time passed he started gradually becoming aware of other sensations, the softness of whatever he was laying on, the cool of the air. Finally, he opened his eyes and saw a familiar ceiling overhead. _The bunker._ He thought happily, then he looked to the side and saw Cas sitting next to him, with his eyes closed and his brow furrowed in concentration.

“Cas?" Dean said weakly, then his mind flipped to the thought that had been haunting him, "Lina? Where's Lina?”

Cas opened his eyes and looked at him, “She's safe, just outside with Sam and the others, but Dean, please don't move, I'm not finished yet.”

Dean was so relieved, he wanted to cry, but was quickly distracted by an odd sensation in his mouth, he felt around with his tongue, as all of his teeth returned to their proper place. He sat still and waited patiently until Cas relaxed slightly and looked at him. “We'll take a break for a few minutes. How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

“Dean, I'm... I'm so sorry, I didn't know that Reumah was...”

“Reumah? So that's the bitch's name.”

“Yes... but I didn't...”

“Shut up.” He said with a smirk, “I'm okay, those fuckers have no idea what real torture is.” Cas let out a breath, he wasn't sure if he felt better or worse hearing that. Dean raised his arm carefully and stroked Cas' cheek. “I'm okay, Cas, really.”

It took a while for Cas to get Dean put back together. The process would have been easier without the warding sigils, but they weren't going to take any chances until they heard from Gabriel. Sam stopped in to check on Dean and was relieved to see him looking nothing more than banged up. Jody checked in too, “This should be fun to explain when I get back to work,” She said, “cause I'm pretty sure any story that starts with 'then this Archangel appeared out of nowhere' is gonna get me fired.” Dean chuckled and she patted his arm, “Well, you keep resting and feeling better.” Cas introduced Dean to Deborah, who he thanked for lending a hand in saving his ass. Then he introduced him to Shiphrah and Puah, who actually curtsied and seemed genuinely intimidated to be talking to him, Dean wasn't really sure what to do with that. 

A couple of minutes after the angels excused themselves, Bobby came in, with Lina in his arms. “DADDY! POPPY!” She squealed the moment she saw the two of them. She wriggled until Bobby let her down, then careened across the room, and climbed onto the bed. She wrapped her arms around Cas' neck and then turned to Dean, hesitating when she saw the bruises on his face and arms. “Daddy, booboo?” She said, putting her hand ever so gently on one of the bruises on the side of his face. “Yeah, I have some booboo's, but I'm okay, Poppy's taking care of me.” Dean said, then opened his arms and she smiled and dropped onto his chest. He winced, still more than a little sore, but he didn't care. It was amazing the effect this little girl could have, since he had gotten pregnant with her, he had been attacked by demons, brutally tortured by angels, and nearly killed by a fucking mind leech, and yet just one little hug and one look into those baby blues, that were just starting to show some tinge of green, and just like that every second was worth it. He didn't care what he had to go through, having his daughter, having Cas, having his family, was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Incredibly Stupid Note: I honestly giggled for a solid thirty seconds imagining Dean in his deep gruff voice saying "Booboo's".


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _This story was originally going to be 3 chapters long._ *she mutters as she posts chapter 20*
> 
> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Dean finally had to force Cas to stop healing him, at least until they heard from Gabriel and could take down the warding. He couldn't shake his memories of the last time they had to wait on Gabriel, which had been bad enough with Cas starting out at full strength, Dean didn't have any interest in knowing what it would be like with him starting out partially drained. Sure he was still in pain and still looked a little like he'd been hit by a truck, but at this point it was bearable, no worse than a few 'hunting accidents' he'd had in the past. Cas, however, was still concerned about him and seemed driven to finish the healing. They'd been standing in the middle of their room arguing about it for fifteen minutes, Dean didn't know why Cas was being so insistent and Cas didn't know why Dean was being so stubborn.

“Okay, fine, if you're gonna be so fuckin pissy about it, why don't we just have Deborah finish the healing?”

“No!” Cas snapped.

“Why not? Didn't she help earlier?”

“Because you were dying, it was an emergency.” Cas said defensively. “I don't need her help now, besides...”

“Besides what?! You want me healed, you can't use any more power, not with the sigils up, so what's the big fucking issue!?” Dean knew there wasn't really a reason to be yelling, but he was tired and he just wanted Cas to let it go. Cas didn't respond, his frown just deepened. “WELL?!”

“IT'S NOT HER PLACE!” Cas fired back, then immediately looked away, his face reddening, like he hadn't meant to say that or at least hadn't meant to yell it for the whole bunker to hear, which made Dean pause. “It's not her place...” He said again, more quietly, “to heal you.”

“Why?!”

“Because... to heal someone...” Cas looked frustrated, like he was struggling to find the right words, “It is... it's intimate... and I... umm...” He trailed off, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt, rolling it between his fingers—something that Dean had noticed was becoming a habit when he got nervous or whatever angels got that was like nervousness—and stared at the wall. Suddenly he straightened a little and looked at Dean, “and I snatched you up!” 

"What the hell does that..." Dean stopped mid sentence and his face softened, when he remembered the woman who had flirted with Cas at the grocery store a couple of years ago and how jealous he'd been. He took a deep breath, “Okay, Cas, I get it.” Cas nodded and looked relieved. “But we're still going to wait, I can handle a few bruises till we hear from Gabriel.”

Cas threw up his hands, sighing loudly, and Dean couldn't help but laugh, the gesture was so distinctly human. Cas frowned at him, “It's not funny, Dean.”

Dean walked closer to him, grabbed his t-shirt and pulled him forward with a playful smirk, “Anyone ever tell you, you're cute when you're mad.”

“What? I'm not...” Dean pressed their lips together, cutting him off. Cas looked surprised for a second, then closed his eyes and wound his arms around Deans neck. He sighed again and let his lips part, allowing Dean's tongue to explore. He didn't understand why their arguments almost always ended up here, he wasn't exactly complaining, but whenever he asked Dean about it, he would usually just wink and say it was because his angel is sexy as hell, which was not only a very confusing human expression—because what exactly was sexy about hell—but didn't really explain anything. Dean slid his hands down Cas' back, slipping them into the back pockets of his jeans. Cas made a startled noise and pulled away abruptly. Dean grunted, more than a little unhappy to be stopping. “Hey?”

“We shouldn't do this, you're still recovering.”

Dean cocked an eyebrow and a slow smile spread across his face. “You know, you're right. I am. I'm definitely still recovering...” Dean said, nodding enthusiastically, as he quickly pulled his shirt over his head and sat down on the bed, “and this...” He smiled seductively, “can be my _physical therapy_.”

Cas gave him a look, “Dean, that isn't...”

“What?” Dean interrupted, pulling his best innocent puppy face, “Don't you want me to get better?”

Cas looked uncomfortable and kind of guilty seeing all the bruises that ran the length of Dean's arms and torso and covered parts of his face. Dean stood up again, grabbed Cas' hips, and lead him over to the bed. "Come on, Cas, this is a very important part of my recovery, probably the most important." Dean said, sitting back on the bed and looking up at him with an exaggerated pout. “You're incorrigible.” Cas said, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Dean grinned and scooted up on the bed, so he could lay down. Cas straddled him carefully, taking heed not to put pressure anywhere that might hurt him. Dean started to tug at Cas' shirt, but Cas pushed his hands away, “You need to rest, let me.” Cas pulled his own shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor next to Dean's, then he leaned over and kissed him again. “Lay still.” He whispered against his mouth and Dean let out a impatient sigh, but obediently kept still. Cas started pressing soft open-mouthed kisses to the bruises on his face and neck, then worked his way down each arm, before moving to his chest. When he started to kiss his stomach, Dean winced, his stomach was probably bruised worse than anything else. Cas stopped and looked up, but Dean smiled at him, “I'm okay.” He said quietly, running his fingers through Cas' hair, making it stick up, “Keep going.” Cas planted a kiss over the waistband of Dean's sweatpants and coaxed him to raise his hips slightly, so he could pull them down. He kept moving down the bed pulling Dean's sweatpants with him, planting kisses on all of the bruises that covered his legs, before tossing the pants aside. Then starting at his feet, Cas kissed his way back up his legs, hooked a thumb in his boxers and pulled them down just enough to kiss under the waistband. He was in the process of pulling them down farther, when the bedroom door swung open.

“Poppy! Poppy! Dinner food!” Lina called excitedly, as she ran into the room.

Dean scrambled to sit up and pull a pillow over himself, sending Cas tumbling off the side of the bed. Jody came into the room a second later, laughing, “Sorry boys, didn't know she could do door handles.” She stopped when she saw the state of both men. “Oh god. Sorry. Sorry.” She said, hurriedly snatching up Lina, who was in the process of climbing onto the bed and whined unhappily at the interruption. “Sorry.” She said again, as she closed the door behind them. Dean blinked a couple of times, his face burning, then threw his pillow at Cas' head, “I thought you locked the fucking door!”

Cas smiled innocently, “You distracted me.”

* * *

“Still kinda hard to believe that Cas did that.” Sam said, taking a sip of his beer and thinking back over the story Deborah had told him of Castiel obliterating every angel in his path in order to get Dean to safety. “I mean I know he's an angel and all, but... damn.”

Deborah nodded, “Yes, it really was something to behold. I plan to ask Gabriel about it when I get back.”

“Guess you really shouldn't piss off the nerd angels.” Sam said with a chuckle. 

“Nerd angels?”

“Oh, it's nothing, just something Dean said a long time ago, after Cas beat his ass.”

“Castiel beat his hunter?”

“Yeah, but it was kind of... necessary. It's a long story.”

Deborah smirked, “I think I'd like to hear that particular story sometime.”

Sam and Deborah were sitting in the library, Bobby was taking a nap in the den, Jody was playing with Lina, and Shiphrah and Puah were walking the halls, checking the sigils and keeping tabs on everyone. Sam watched Puah check the sigil on the front door, make a lap around the atrium, and then disappear back down the hallway. “What's their story?” He said, tapping his fingers against his beer.

“I'm sorry?”

“Shiphrah and Puah, what's with the two of them?”

“I don't understand.”

“I just mean, they seem really nice and normal, for angels.” He paused and then flushed slightly, “Uh, not that you're not nice... or normal... or... umm... I just mean they don't seem very... angel-like. Not that that would be a bad thing...”

“It's alright,” Deborah said, laughing lightly. “I don't mind, I might not be quite so humanized as Castiel or Gabriel, but I am well aware of the shortcomings of my family, and Shiphrah and Puah are definitely...” She glanced over her shoulder in the direction that Puah had gone, “ _different_.”

“Yeah, exactly. So what's their story?”

“To be honest, I'm not really sure. All I know is that they're Caretakers, which is odd, to say the least.”

“Caretakers?”

“An extremely specialized class of angel.”

“So why is that odd?”

“Because the sole responsibility of the Caretakers was the protection and upbringing of young angels.”

Sam wrinkled his brow, “Young? I didn't know angels could be young.”

“We're not born the same way as humans, but we all start out young. In fact, heaven used to be full of fledglings, but that was before our Father left and Michael banned the bringing of new angels into existence. We haven't had Caretakers since everything fell into chaos.”

“So how do you know that's what they are?”

“It's difficult to explain if you can't see their true form, but trust me, they are Caretakers and their _existence_ is another thing that I plan to ask Gabriel about.”

Sam took another sip of his beer and leaned back in his chair, “Huh.”

* * *

Cas made macaroni and cheese for dinner, his own recipe. Watching him cook was apparently a source of unending fascination for the three other angels. “But you don't eat?” Deborah said, leaning against the counter on his right side, while Shiphrah and Puah stood next to the counter on his left, watching him prepare and mix together ingredients. “I know, but I enjoy the preparation involved, it's relaxing.”

“So how do you know if it tastes acceptable?” Shiphrah asked, trying to make Puah move over, so she could see better.

“I'm getting fairly skilled at knowing what goes well with what and if I'm unsure, I have Dean or Sam taste it.”

“How do you know when it's done cooking?”

“For this, it's when the cheese is melted and the edges are just slightly browned.”

“What would happen if you let it keep cooking?”

“It would burn.”

“Is that bad?”

“Yes.”

Dean leaned against the door frame and watched with amusement, as Cas stood in front of the stove, with the group of angels crowding around him, asking questions, trying to peek over his shoulders, all jockeying for a better view of what he was doing, as he patiently explained the process and answered all of their questions. “It's cute.” Jody said, walking up next to him. “He's a good teacher.” Dean smiled and nodded.

"So how're you feelin?"

"I'm fine."

"You know it's okay to not be fine, right? Pretty sure getting kidnapped and tortured gives you a free pass on the macho thing."

"I'll survive. Besides, Cas is being so fucking crazy about getting me healed up..."

"Aw, give him a break, Dean. You didn't see him, he was really worried about you, like out of his mind with worry. You're lucky he isn't insisting on carrying you around."

They both laughed and then Jody cleared her throat, “Speaking of you two, um, sorry... about earlier. Didn't mean to interrupt.”

Dean could feel his ears turning pink, but he smiled. Thankfully he wasn't nearly as shy about his relationship with Cas as he used to be. “No big deal. Not like Sam hasn't done it enough times.” Jody chuckled and patted his arm, “Okay, well, I'm gonna go check on the humans." Then she turned around and Dean huffed a laugh when he heard her mutter, "There's a sentence you don't get to use everyday."

Once dinner was made, they all sat together at the big table in the library. Cas got Dean's food and then sat in the chair next to his. “Mackees! Mackees! Mackees!” Lina cheered, as Cas set her in his lap and helped her tuck a napkin into her shirt. “I know, Li, you love macaroni and cheese.”

“Yes!” She said, clapping her hands together.

“You're a mac and cheese maniac.” He said, nuzzling her ear and bouncing her on his knee. She giggled and then reached for the spoon. “Lina,” Dean warned, “Poppy made dinner, what do you say?”

“Tank you!” She said loudly. “Yes. Thank you, Cas.” Jody added, then smacked Bobby on the arm. He quickly dropped his fork. “Uh, yeah, thanks.”

“Thank you!” Everyone else chimed in, laughing.

Cas smiled sheepishly, “You're welcome.”

* * *

Cas made sure that Dean and Lina were settled in the den with everyone else and then set to work on the dishes. A few of the others offered to help, but he turned them down. He actually enjoyed doing the dishes, which his human family thought was funny and his angelic family did not understand in the least. Like so many human activities, dishes were repetitive and dull, but important. They served a purpose that was essential to the proper function of the household and there was also something about them that Cas found distinctly peaceful. It was almost as if this simple act represented all the good in his life: family, safety, home.

“It suits you.”

He looked up at Deborah's voice, “What does?”

“This. All of it.” She waved her hand in a vague circle. “Even the human form. I've known you a long time, Castiel, and I've never seen you like this before.” She smiled, “And it just... it suits you.”

“Thank you... I guess.” Cas turned off the sink and turned around, wiping his hands on a dish towel. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.” Deborah said, sitting at the table and folding her hands in her lap.

“Right before we left to rescue Dean, you said you weren't surprised that so many angels volunteered to help, you said it was because of hope, but you never really explained.”

She stared at the tabletop thoughtfully for a minute before answering, “Do you remember what heaven was like before...? Peaceful. Happy.”

“Yes, I remember.”

“Then you also remember how quickly turmoil and violence washed over heaven. I know that Michael did the best he could, but heaven was not just in disorder, heaven was shattered." She smiled ruefully, "You know, it's almost humorous, how so many of our kind think of the humans as apes, yet when given just a taste of freedom, we immediately turned on each other, becoming self obsessed and cruel. We lost our way, Castiel, and it seemed for so long like there was no hope of ever finding it again, and then one quiet soldier did something no one expected. You brought hope to an Archangel that had given up on his family and then together you brought hope to the rest of us. And now, for the first time, we can see that all was not lost when our Father left, in fact, it may well have been the greatest gift He ever gave His winged children.”

Cas was staring at the floor and fighting back tears, when Deborah stood and walked over, settling a hand on his shoulder. “You brought life back to us, brother, you will always have our help.” Cas stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug. She was surprised, but quickly relaxed. When he stepped back, she smiled at him fondly and smoothed a thumb over his cheek, wiping away a tear. “My dear Castiel, I'm glad that our Father has blessed you with your love and your child. I'm glad to see the light in your eyes again.”

They talked a little while longer and then Deborah excused herself to the library, intrigued by a few books she had found there and Cas walked back to the den. Puah was standing just outside the door and smiled at him. "Is everything alright?" He asked.

"Yes, sir, Ms. Mills and Mr. Singer went to bed, Shiph is checking the sigils again, and..." She glanced at the door into the den, "I didn't want to disturb them." Cas poked his head around the corner and smiled when he saw Sam asleep on the couch and Dean reclined in his chair, snoring loudly, with a soundly sleeping Lina tucked tightly under his arm. Cas looked back at Puah, "Thank you. You can join your sister, I'll watch over them."

She nodded and curtsied before walking off to find Shiphrah. Cas pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over Sam, got the comforter from his and Dean's room and gently tucked it around Dean and Lina, then kissed both of them on the top of the head. Deborah was right, he had never been like this before and he knew it, because he had never felt like this before, not even during his brightest times in heaven. He looked at the the three slumbering forms and smiled to himself. _The greatest gift that my Father ever gave to me._

* * *

Gabriel walked around the table in his office, stopping a few feet away from Reumah, who was bound to a chair, glaring at him. Taking over the fortress and subduing the other loyalists had been fairly easy after Castiel had blown through—or blown up as they case may be—half of them. Though Reumah had still managed to kill six angels before she was contained and when they brought her to Gabriel's house, she had twice tried to execute spells against her captors, injuring one angel and managing to pretty effectively irritate Balthazar. Gabriel had burned sigils into her hands, limiting her power, until she could be put in the prison, though Balthazar had suggested that cutting off her hands would be easier. “Just answer my questions, Reumah, I don't want to have to force you.”

“So is this the great _improved_ Gabriel, all full of mercy and love, willing to torture his friend?” Reumah said, with a mocking smile.

“Believe me, Rue. The fact that you were my friend, is the only reason you're sitting in front of me and not in front of Castiel.”

She laughed, “You're a murdering coward, a traitor to your brothers, a traitor to our Father. You can torture me all you want, I'll never tell you anything.”

Gabriel sighed heavily, “No, I didn't figure you would.” He walked over to her and raised his hand, “I hope you know that I have to do this, I have to be sure.” She fought against her restraints, trying to struggle away from him, her eyes going wide with fear, as he set his hand on her head. He spoke a few words in Enochian and she stiffened, light shining from her eyes. It was possible for Archangels to read the minds of regular angels against their will, but it was usually avoided unless absolutely necessary, as it wasn't a pleasant experience for anyone involved. Reumah screamed and Gabriel gritted his teeth, digging for any trace of the information that he needed. Finally, he pulled his hand away and Reumah's head dropped forwards, she was unconscious, blood dripping from her mouth and eyes. “Reumah... how could... Damn it, Rue.” Gabriel said, breathing hard, “Damn it.“ He turned, grabbed the glass pitcher that was sitting on the table and threw it against the wall. “DAMN IT!” He scrubbed a hand over his face, then looked up and waved a hand at Thomas, who was standing in the corner next to Balthazar, “Take her to a cell.” Thomas hurried and called into the hallway, three other angels came in and helped him lift Reumah to move her to the prison.

As soon as they had gone, Gabriel lowered himself into a chair. “I'm going to assume we didn't learn anything new.” Balthazar said calmly, walking up and leaning against the table.

“Other than learning that she's an even more vicious bitch than either of us thought, no, we haven't. She didn't know about the leech.”

Balthazar raised an eyebrow, “Not exactly surprising. So what's the next step?”

Gabriel shot him a look, “You know what the next step is.”

Balthazar paused, genuine concern shading his face for a brief moment, before he slapped his hands against his thighs and stood up, “Goodness, that means a night off, what am I going to do with myself?” Gabriel smirked, “I'm sure you'll think of something.”

“Perhaps I'll teach a few angels to mix drinks, what good is heaven without a decent bartender.” Balthazar said absently, as he headed out the door.

* * *

Most angels thought the prison was the lowest and most secure point in heaven, very few had ever heard of the tomb and of those that had, most thought it was just a rumor, a myth, because the ones that knew it was real, knew better than to ever want to visit. Gabriel went down to the first floor of his house and walked back to a nondescript door set against an interior wall. It wasn't by accident that he had built his house in this exact spot. He paused at the door, which he had designed to open only for him, turned the handle and walked into a room that looked like a janitorial closet, knelt down, and pressed a hand against the floor, then he was standing at the top of a staircase. He descended the stairs slowly, this was the last place that he wanted to be and the last thing that he wanted to be doing, but he was out of options. He'd spent months now chasing every possible lead and nothing had panned out. Reumah had been his last hope for an answer.

He walked down the long hallway, which extended out from the base of the stairs. Trying to ignore the walls, as they slowly shifted, expanding and contracting, deepening from a matte gray to a shiny black and then back again. The walls of the tomb were unsettling even if you were used to them, the best way that Gabe could imagine to explain it, was that it looked very much like the hallway was breathing. He came to door after door, each opening only with a particular spell, before he finally came to a row of bars, blocking off a round room, the bars were sharp on all four sides, looking almost like large angel blades jutting up out of the ground. He peered passed them at the person inside the room, the person's wrists and ankles were shackled, each attached to a chain that extended from the wall. The chains and shackles were not actually attached to the wall, but formed from the wall itself, made from the same shifting material, and every inch of them, the bars, and the inside of the room was etched with powerful sigils. Gabriel could feel the weight of them, like heat radiating from the room. He crossed his arms and took a deep breath.

“Hello, Raphael.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Raphael was sitting on the floor and didn't even raise his head. His restraints, which extended from opposite walls, only allowed him to move within a small, defined area in the center of the cell. “Gabriel.” He said, his voice hoarse and strained. He started to cough, splaying his hands on the ground in front of him, his whole body straining with the movement. The sound of his hacking was thick and deep, painful to listen to, and when the fit passed, he spit out a mouthful of blood, before sitting back again and looking up. Gabriel looked away, he could barely stand seeing his brother like this, seeing what the sigils were doing to him, stripping away his power and leaving him feeble and sickly. He still quietly hoped that someday Raphael might change, that things could be different, that things could be repaired between them.

“What's wrong?” Raphel said, “You look pale. Does it bother you? ...Visiting my grave?”

Gabriel had to remind himself that he was here for a reason and it wasn't to make peace. He forced himself to turn back and smile, “Nah. I just forgot how ugly you are.” Raphael glowered at him, as far as his brothers went, Raphael had always had the least amount of tolerance for Gabriel's particular brand of humor. "Just wanted to let you know that it's over." Gabe said, keeping his tone casual, "The last of your followers have been found, including Reumah.”

The corner of Raphael's mouth twitched up, “Quite the savage zealot, isn't she.”

“I also wanted you to know that your plan failed.”

“My plan?” Raphael laughed, a choked, bitter sound that bubbled out of the back of his throat. “You seem to have forgotten where we are, brother.”

“Oh, believe me, I know, and I still don't know how you did it, but it doesn't matter, cause it didn't work.” Gabriel stuffed his hands in his pockets, keeping his face carefully blank, “Just can't believe you would be dumb enough to release a dream leech.” He watched Raphael's face for the slightest hint of reaction, anything that might give him an indication of the extent of his brothers knowledge, but Raphael's expression remained impassive. “A dream leech? Haven't heard of one of those for a while.” He said, then stood up slowly and took a step forward, making the chains clink together. “I do hope you did away with the horrid little creature, because I certainly wouldn't want any harm to come to Dean Winchester or his _beautiful daughter_.” The way he referred to Lina, made Gabriel's stomach turn, “Of course, I can't speak for anyone else.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Things could have been different, Gabriel, but you wanted to give them free will, give them choices.” Raphael descended into another coughing fit, “Now you'll have to reap what you've sown.” He gasped.

“What the hell are you...?” Gabriel stopped, faintly hearing Castiel's voice inside his mind, calling out to him.

Gabriel didn't even think about it, he just spun on his heel and took off back down the hallway, hearing Raphael's laughter echo through the hall behind him, as he used the spell to push through the first door, before sprinting for the next. He got through the doors as quickly as he could and took the stairs three at a time. The second he set foot back inside his house, he took flight, but was forced to pull up short and plummet to the ground, when he found his whole house surrounded by a ring of holy fire. He circled the house once, a strange feeling, something vaguely like panic, was sitting like a pressure on his chest. Light spilled from his eyes, as he lifted about a foot off the ground and arched his wings around himself. Rain started to pour from nowhere and within a few minutes the holy fire flickered out.

Gabe appeared immediately at the entrance to the prison, the large door was hanging from one hinge. He pushed it out of the way, four dead angels, no loyalists, no Reumah.

* * *

Dean woke up when Cas shook him, “Someone's here.” He said, pressing an angel blade into his hand. Sam was already up and Bobby and Jody were hurrying into the room. “Who is it?” Dean asked.

“We're going to find out. Stay here. You two stay with them.” He said, motioning to Shiphrah and Puah, before walking out into the hallway and having a hushed conversation with Deborah. Dean felt a peculiar mix of worry and admiration as he watched Cas, giving orders, taking control of the situation, it left him with a distinct, but ridiculous urge to stand up and proclaim 'that's my boyfriend'. Cas turned, glancing at Dean and Lina, before pulling the door closed. They waited, all of them (except Lina, who was still sleeping) keeping a careful eye on the door. “Here, let me hold her.” Jody said, lifting Lina into her arms, she moved to sit on the couch when there was a sound and they could hear yelling, before there was something that sounded like an explosion. Jody dove behind Dean's chair, into the very back corner of the room, shielding Lina with her body. They could hear footsteps running down the hallway, too many footsteps.

“Oh Dean! Where are you dear?”

Dean's heart lodged itself firmly in his throat, he knew that voice, he would never forget that voice. “Reumah.” He whispered to the room. Shiphrah and Puah looked at each other and nodded, exchanging a silent conversation. A second later the door swung open and an unfamiliar angel stepped into the room, “I fou...!” He started to yell, but was cut short when an angel blade pierced his throat. A light flashed through the room and he fell forward. Dean and Sam glanced at each other with raised eyebrows, neither of them had even seen Puah move, yet there she stood, angel blade in hand. They could hear more footsteps coming down the hallway, as Puah slammed the door, “I need your knife!” She yelled at Sam. He grabbed his jacket off the side of the couch, pulled out the demon blade and threw it to her. She sliced into her arm and used the blood to draw a sigil on the door. She threw the knife to Shiphrah and working together, they quickly warded the walls, ceiling, and floor.

Dean was going out of his mind, he knew that Cas was out there, with Reumah, in the middle of whatever the hell was going on. _I should be out there._ He thought, _I need to find Cas!_ He bolted for the door, but Bobby caught him around the waist. “Dean! No!” Bobby said.

“I have to find Cas!”

“You can't!” Sam said, stepping in front of him.

Everyone hushed when they heard footsteps stop just outside the door, “Dean, is that you? What are you doing hiding in there? I believe we have some unfinished business.” Reumah's voice still carried that same mocking tone. “Come on now, Dean, let's...” Her voice trailed off when the bunker started to shake, then light poured in under the door and a ringing sound filled the room. Shiphrah and Puah spun around, shouting in unison, “COVER YOUR EYES!” They all huddled together, keeping Lina covered in the middle. The ringing sound grew in volume, the building shook harder, and the light grew brighter. Dean felt like his head was going to explode, but before the light became too bright to keep his eyes uncovered, he noticed something strange, as the sound grew, instead of becoming more upset, Lina actually settled. There was a final flash, that carried an almost unbearable heat and then silence and darkness settled over the bunker again. They all looked around, dazed, trying to blink away the spots in their eyes, the sigils all around them had been burned off. With angel blade ready, Shiphrah opened the door a crack and peeked into the hallway. Her eyes went wide, “I think... it's okay.” She said and swung the door open.

There was nothing left, all of the angels had been reduced to nothing more than a fine mist that now painted the walls. Castiel was standing in the center of the carnage, and when he looked up at them, for just a moment, there was something there, something that reminded Dean that he was looking at one of the most powerful creatures in the universe. He wasn't even transformed, yet he was... terrifying, then as fast as it was there, it was gone, and it was just Cas again. “Are you okay?” He asked, looking over Dean and Lina. “Son of a bitch.” Dean said, as he walked over to him, grabbed his face, and kissed him hard, not caring in the slightest that other people were watching. Then he stepped back and jabbed a finger at him, “Don't you dare... ever... do that to me again.”

Cas smiled slightly. “I'm sorry...” He paused, “Deborah! Deborah's hurt!”

“It's okay, Castiel, Gabriel already found me.” Deborah said, walking up to the group. Her shirt was slashed open across her abdomen, but whatever injury had been there was already healed. She wrinkled her nose at what was left of the angels.

“Gabriel? Where is he?”

“I told him what happened, he said you'd be able to handle things here, then he went back to heaven.”

“How'd they get passed the warding?” Sam said.

“Yeah,” Dean added, “What the hell happened?”

“They had help,” Cas said, glancing at Deborah, “I didn't know and I let him inside.”

“It wasn't your fault, Castiel. I trusted him too.”

* * *

By the time Gabriel had reached the bunker, the warding sigils had already been removed. He appeared in the atrium and found Deborah, propped up against the underside of the map table, clutching a deep cut to her stomach. She swung the angel blade up and then froze, “Gabriel?”

“What the hell happened?!”

“My power, Reumah, she bound my power.”

Gabriel pressed his hand over her wound and it started to close. “What about Cas? Did she bind him too?”

“No.” She gave him a pained smile, “I got in the way first and he went after them.”

“Okay good. He'll be able to handle things.”

“What? How?”

“How did they get in?”

She grabbed the edge of his jacket, anger flashing in her eyes. “Thomas.”

Gabriel felt the name like a slap in the face, but it made sense, of course it made sense. “Is he still here?”

“No, he disappeared right after he let everyone else in.”

The ground started to shake and light shone from the hallway. “Cas'll be along in a minute, I need to...”

“Go. I'm okay.”

Gabe flew back to heaven. _How did I not see this?_   He thought, _How do I keep missing these people? I should have known._ He felt a little like the rug had been ripped out from under him, again. He was so tired of all of this, he was tired of the fighting, of the worrying. He could feel anger swell in his chest, this was the last straw, it was over, he was done. He landed hard, caving in the floor of the meeting room, where Balthazar was sitting in the middle of a group of angels, laughing and teaching them how to mix a pink drink. Balthazar paused and looked up, “Gabriel?”

“I'm gonna give you one chance, Tom.” Gabe said angrily.

Thomas turned around from his seat in the group, “I'm sorry, sir? Is there a problem?”

“Gabriel, what's going on?” Balthazar said.

“Don't play innocent with me," Gabe gritted out, ignoring Balthazar, "I know what you've been doing, I know it was you.”

Thomas stood up and turned to face him, wearing a proud smirk,  “I suppose there's no real sense in denying it, because you would just..." Gabriel launched himself forward and grabbed Thomas around the throat, silencing him, as he pressed a hand to his head. The other angels backed up, when Gabriel said something in Enochian and Thomas' whole body seized, light shining from his eyes. Gabriel ripped into Thomas' mind without mercy, making the angel convulse under his grip. He went through everything, found every tiny detail that Thomas knew and the more he learned, the more his rage grew, before he finally squeezed his hand tighter and Thomas' twitching body exploded.

“Well...” Balthazar said, dabbing at his face with a handkerchief, “that was dramatic.” He looked up to say something to Gabriel, but he was already gone. Balthazar looked at the spot where Thomas had been standing and sighed. “Wonderful. Now I'm going to have to find another assistant.”

Gabriel went back to his house and back down into the tomb. he strode up to the cell and banged an angel blade against the bars. Raphael's head shot up, blood dripping from his mouth. "No more, Raphael!" Gabriel yelled, "No more!"

"Have you come to kill me?" Raphael said, rising to his feet again, as a smile spread across his face, "Because there will always be..."

Gabriel raised his hand and white light spread through the room, making the walls shift immediately to shiny black, when the light faded Raphael was a pile of ash being absorbed by the floor. "No more..." Gabriel said, letting go of the angel blade, as he backed up slowly and dropped to his knees, feeling the unfamiliar sting of tears forming in his eyes. "No more... No more." He murmured over and over, before he finally doubled over and let the tears come.

* * *

Gabriel returned to the bunker a couple of hours later, informed the group that Thomas had been dealt with, and used his powers to clean up, remove the bodies of the dead angels that hadn't been vaporized by Cas, and put everything back to sorts. Everyone was just grateful that they weren't going to have to spend the next couple of days cleaning angel off the walls. After a while, Gabe pulled Castiel to the side and they discussed something for a good half hour, before Gabe disappeared and Cas returned to the group.

“What's goin on?” Dean asked.

“Gabriel is going to ward the bunker permanently.”

“But won't that hurt you?”

“No. It's a different form. It shouldn't cause any harm to me, or Lina, or any angel, it will just act like a wall to prevent angels from getting in uninvited.”

“Of course, it also means all your favorite angels will have to be invited in too.” Gabriel said, appearing back in the room. “Ugh. I'm gonna have to... knock.” He said, with a shiver, looking truly disgusted by the idea. “Bout time.” Sam muttered from behind him.

After giving them a chance to say goodbye to everyone, Gabriel zapped Bobby and Jody back to their house. Shiphrah and Puah curtsied to Sam and waved at Lina, who smiled just slightly from her spot on Cas' hip, then quickly hid her face in his neck. After that they curtsied to Dean and Cas, “Thank you for the opportunity to serve you, Mr. Winchester.” Puah said to Dean.

“Uhh... You're welcome...? Come back anytime.”

“Really?!” She said excitedly, then quickly sobered. “Oh um... sorry. Thank you for the invitation, sir. We would love to visit again in the future.” Dean made a face at Sam, who was trying to stifle a laugh, as he watched the exchange. After they both disappeared, Dean looked at Gabe, “At some point, you're gonna have to explain those two.” Gabe just smiled.

The day quickly slipped into night. Gabriel was still hanging around, but no one bothered him about it, they all knew it had been a rough day for him too and it hadn't escaped their notice that he was being quieter and more helpful than usual. Cas insisted that Deborah stay for at least one more night, as she was still resting and recovering her power. Dean and Cas had already taken Lina and gone to bed, when Sam set up the couch in the den, so Deborah could lay down if she wanted.

“Alright.” Sam said, stretching his arms over his head and yawning, “It's been a long ass couple of days. I'm goin to bed. If you need anything, I'll be in my room.” Deborah thanked him, then he turned to leave, only to nearly walk into Gabe, who appeared in front of him, looking worried. Gabe grabbed his shirt and pulled him down slightly, so he could press a hand to his forehead. “Hey! What the hell are you doing?!”

Gabe disappeared and reappeared again, sitting cross-legged on the back of the couch, he shrugged, “Just checking.”

Sam scowled at him, “Fucking angels.” He grumbled, as he stepped out into the hallway. Deborah adjusted awkwardly and laid down on the makeshift bed, “This is strange.” She said, staring up at the ceiling, “I feel so... tired.”

“It'll pass.” Gabe said absently, still seated on the back of the couch, staring after Sam. Deborah followed his gaze and then smiled up at him. Gabe caught her knowing look, “What?”

“Nothing.” She said.

"No, seriously, what?"

"You care about him."

Gabe huffed, "Not really."

"Sure." Deborah said with a smirk, rolling onto her side.

Gabriel pulled a sucker out of his jacket and unwrapped it, but then just stared at the brightly colored candy. He had never expected Thomas to be the link he was missing, he had never expected the things he saw in Thomas' mind, he had thought he was doing right keeping Raphael alive, he was tired of being wrong. He knew he would be okay, he was always okay, he just wasn't okay tonight. He just wanted to be somewhere that he felt at home and right now that wasn't heaven. He disappeared and reappeared outside Sam's room, taking a deep breath before knocking on the door. Sam answered, wearing PJ's, "You actually... knocked?" Sam said, looking shocked when he saw who it was.

"Yeah. I was wondering, can I... I mean..." Gabe paused and chewed on his lower lip.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked slowly.

"Um, I was just... Do you wanna watch some TV?"

Sam furrowed his brow and stared at him, "Okay, I guess." He said after a moment, then turned around and walked back into the room, leaving the door open. Gabriel followed, Sam snatched the remote off the top of the dresser and handed it to him, "No infomercials." He said firmly, then dropped onto the bed. Gabriel smiled and nodded, settling in the chair that was next to the bed and clicking on the TV. After a few minutes of channel surfing, Sam reached into the drawer of his nightstand, pulled out a couple of little bags, keeping one and tossing Gabe the other. Gabriel didn't say anything, he just smiled brightly and tore the bag open, then leaned back in the chair, kicked his feet up on the edge of the bed, and tossed back a handful of Skittles.

* * *

Before they went to bed, Cas finished healing Dean and it wasn't until the bruises were gone that Dean realized how truly sore he had been. He slipped out of his jeans and changed into a different t-shirt, before carefully laying down on his side of the bed, not wanting to disturb Lina, who was asleep in the middle of the bed, snuggled against Cas' stomach. He smiled fondly, watching Cas gently smoothing her hair back, as he hummed the tune to a lullaby that he always used to sing to her when she was a baby. Not that it was a surprise to anyone, but she had been hesitant to even go into her room, let alone sleep there, so they had agreed to let her stay with them until things had a chance to settle. Dean didn't say anything, but he also knew that Cas really wanted to keep both of them close for a while too—and well, if he was being completely honest, he wasn't exactly unhappy with the idea himself. "You realize, she's probably never gonna want to sleep by herself ever again." He said quietly.

"It's going to take time, but I think she'll be fine." Cas said, without looking up.

"Are you ever gonna let her sleep by herself again?"

Cas looked at him and made a face, "We'll see."

Dean chuckled, then leaned forward and kissed Lina on the head, before propping himself up on an elbow, so he could lean over her and press a soft kiss to Castiel's lips. "I love you." He whispered. Cas smiled, "I love you too."

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Dean was just starting to wake up when he heard Lina running down the hallway outside the door, screaming excitedly and then a second later heard Cas' footsteps, “Li! Shhh! Your father is still sleeping! Lina! Come back here! Lina!” He rolled over and glanced at the clock, which read 6:48am, buried his face in his pillow and sighed deeply before getting up. He followed the commotion down the hall to the bathroom, where he found Lina standing on her stool in front of the sink, practically vibrating with excitement. She was twisting her shoulders back and forth, while Cas was standing behind her, desperately attempting to brush her hair into a ponytail. “Li! Please hold still.” She noticed Dean and threw her arms over her head, “Daddy! You're awake!” She cried, jumping off the stool and pulling out the almost finished ponytail. Cas hung his head, “Fine. I give up.”

Dean scooped Lina into his arms and planted a kiss on her cheek, “Mornin squirt, you bein a pain?” She grinned, then looked back at Cas, “Can we go now, since Daddy's up too?”

“After breakfast.”

“Okay! Breakfast!” She said determinedly, wiggling out of Dean's arms and taking off out the door. Dean raised his eyebrows as he watched her disappear around the corner, “God, how long's she been up?”

“Since three.” Cas said, looking a little frazzled, as he stowed her brush back in the toiletry bag on the counter.

“Ouch. Sorry.”

“You should be, I told you not to tell her.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, I know.” He went to peck Cas on the lips, when they heard a crash from the kitchen, Cas dropped his head against Dean's chest and let out an exasperated sigh. “Lina, what was that?!” Cas called, as he stepped out into the hallway. “Nothing, Poppy!” She called back. Dean had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

It was hard to believe that it had already been two years since Reumah and Thomas and that whole goddamn disaster. Everything felt like a dream, as their little family settled back into glorious monotony. Dean honestly wasn't sure if he was more surprised that two years had passed or that they had managed to go two years without some new supernatural dickhead showing up to try and ruin everything. Lina was five now and due to start kindergarten later in the year. She was growing up fast, her dark hair fell passed her shoulders, her skin was dusted with freckles, and her eyes were a piercing shade of blue/green—Cas liked to say that her eyes were the color of the ocean, Dean just told him he was a big sap. She still didn't have wings or anything else that blatantly screamed angel, but on top of her increased immune system and accelerated healing they had discovered a couple of new 'abnormal' things. The first was something Dean noticed during the disaster of two years ago, she still didn't seem to have any connection to angel radio, but she could hear and understand the real voices of angels and could distinguish her Poppy's real voice from that of others. The second was her absolutely amazing sense of balance. Unfortunately for her Uncle Sammy, he happened to be babysitting when this new ability became evident and nearly had a heart attack when he found her walking casually on the railing at the top of the stairs in the atrium. She didn't seem to be at all bothered by heights, in fact—they weren't sure if this was the angel mojo or just a personal quirk—she almost seemed to prefer them, often scaling bookshelves, trees, or anything else she could figure out how to climb, just so she could sit up high. Teaching her that she couldn't climb everything she came across, was still a work in progress.

Dean took a quick shower before heading for the kitchen. “Can we go now!?” Lina said, when he walked into the the room.

“Li, I said after breakfast.”

“But I ATE breakfast!” She said, holding up her empty bowl.

“Yes, but your father hasn't. Be patient.”

She groaned loudly as Dean grabbed a bowl from the cabinet and poured himself some cereal. “We're gonna be late.” She said, dropping her head against the table with a comical thud. Dean bit back a smile and took the seat next to her. “Cool it, squirt, we're not gonna be late.”

“What about Uncle Sammy? We're gonna miss him!”

“He's meeting us there, Li, we won't miss him.”

Sam was gone a lot now, he had come up with a multitude of ways to update and better streamline what they referred to as Bobby's 'hunting center'. He was sort of melding the legacy of the Men of Letters with the tradition of hunting and creating what was fast becoming a well respected hunting network. This network included hunters recruited by Sam, Bobby, or Garth to act as trainers for the less experienced or to pair up with other hunters that needed help, as well as, various 'hunting posts' throughout the country where hunters could access information and supplies, connect with other hunters, or just find a safe place to crash. Sam was also working on creating a central source of knowledge and lore that could be accessed and updated by all hunters within the network. The whole thing was a surprise to Dean, as his brother had never particularly loved the family business, but he definitely seemed to be enjoying the new role he was creating for himself. Bobby would jokingly say that it wasn't gonna be much longer and he'd be able to retire, though after spending time helping Sam, watching him in his element, putting his intelligence and love of research to good use, Dean was pretty sure Bobby wasn't actually joking.

In spite of everything, Dean still worried every time Sam went on a hunt without him—he had long ago accepted that his big brother instincts were always going to be there—but Cas assured him that Gabe was keeping an eye on him. This was confirmed one time when Sam called for advice on how to proceed with the monster he was pretty sure he was hunting, the conversation had been very normal, until Sam randomly yelled “MOTHERFUCKING HELL!” and Dean heard the phone drop, he'd been concerned until he heard, “GABE, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! THAT IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY!” followed by a litany of expletives, with the sound of Gabriel laughing uproariously in the background. Sam never explained exactly what happened, he just grumbled something about how he should be used to it by now. Even though Dean didn't really understand how two people who seemed to endlessly irritate each other could end up friends, he was still happy to know that his little brother had an Archangel watching his back. He was even happier that Sam seemed happy, he had even recently started talking about going back to school. Dean was proud of him, he loved watching his little brother flourish.

Though he was keeping tabs on Sam and keeping in touch with Cas, Gabriel hadn't visited the actual bunker very frequently over the past couple of years. In fact, he had visited only about four times, two of those to drop off gifts for Lina on her birthday, (a shirt with a gold wing design on the back for her fourth and a little black table and chairs set, with gold wings painted on the backs of the chairs for her fifth). He was never willing to say much about Thomas and everything else that happened two years ago and he outright refused to talk about the leech. Everyone had questions, particularly Cas, who was convinced he was holding back something important and tried to push him about it. Dean actually ended up being the one who convinced Cas to let it go, at least for a while, because he saw Gabe's face when Cas brought it up, and it was nothing more or less than a big brother protecting his little brother from a burden that he didn't want him to have to carry. It was an expression that Dean knew well.

Deborah stopped in off and on, enough for Lina to start referring to her as Aunt Debah, but Dean really didn't mind, she was 'rough around the edges' for an angel and he liked her. She was also teaching him and Sam how to better handle an angel blade and (over Cas' strong objections) providing Dean with the unique opportunity to learn about Castiel as a young angel. She kept them updated about the goings on in heaven, where apparently Gabriel was making some pretty big changes. The biggest at the moment was his facilitation of the arrival of a new batch of fledglings, which was keeping Shiphrah and Puah busy.

The twins were still a couple of red headed oddities that no one really understood. They'd all pestered Gabe about their story, but his explanation left them with more questions than answers (and that was if he was telling the truth at all, which was always a toss up). Gabriel said that he hadn't told anyone about his plans to lift Michael's ban on the bringing of new angels into existence, because he was going to wait until things got a little more stable. Then out of the blue Shiphrah and Puah had showed up at his house, two angels that no angel knew anything about, branded as Caretakers. He said that he couldn't really explain why in terms that humans would understand, but this branding was not something that could be obtained easily and not something that could be faked, not even by an Archangel, because unlike other classes of angel, being branded as a Caretaker had more to do with what you might call the 'heart' of the angel, than with their power or ability.

“Daaaddd, come oooonnnn! Eat faster!” Lina whined, shaking Dean from his thoughts.

“Li, that's enough.” Cas said sternly, “Let's go get your shoes on and make sure we packed everything.”

She made a face, but followed him out of the kitchen. Dean chewed on another spoonful of cereal and watched them leave. Lina had known that they were visiting Grandma Jody and Grandpa Bobby, but didn't know exactly why until Dean had told her three days earlier. Bobby and Jody had brought them the surprising news when they visited for Lina's fifth birthday, they had decided to get married! Everyone was excited, but it felt strange, this was something that none of them were used to, it was so... normal. The idea of celebrating this simple happy thing, with no vast darkness looming in the distance, no crazed evil threatening to take it away, Dean wasn't even sure what to do with himself. He was almost afraid to relax, convinced that the moment he did, something bad would probably happen.

“LET'S GOOOOOOO!” Dean heard Lina squeal and then saw her dart passed the kitchen and into the atrium. “Lina, that's not even the way to the garage!” Cas said, hurrying after her, “Lina?” There was a brief pause, “Lina Grace! Get down from there!” Dean smirked, as he rinsed out his bowl in the sink, he was going to have some serious making up to do with Cas later.

* * *

Dean and Cas were both glad when they were finally on the road and very thankful that Lina loved long car rides. She slept for a couple of hours, played with her toy train, and colored. When she got bored they listened to music and played car games—though Dean did threaten grievous bodily harm to Cas if the angel ever told anyone that he willingly played I Spy.

When they arrived at Bobby and Jody's, before Dean even had a chance to put the Impala in park, Lina was already fighting her way out of her car seat. She swung the door open, looked around for a second, and then took off running when she saw Bobby coming around the side of the house. “GRANDPA! GRANDPA! WE'RE HERE!” She yelled excitedly. Bobby smiled and hoisted her into his arms. “What are you doin here, kid? You drive here all by yourself?”

“Course not! Daddy drove!” She said, pointing back at the Impala, where Dean and Cas were pulling bags out of the trunk. “Oh, well, I'm glad to hear it. Hey, bet if you find Gramma, she'll have cookies for ya.” Lina clapped her hands excitedly and careened for the porch the second her feet touched the ground.

“Yeah, cause that's what she needs, sugar.” Dean said sarcastically, as he walked up to Bobby.

“My house, my rules.” Bobby said with a smile, then wrapped Dean in a hug. “It's good to see you boy.” He stepped back and then clasped Cas on the shoulder before pulling him into a hug, “You too.”

“Where's Sam?” Dean asked, glancing around the property.

“He called bout a half hour ago, guess he got delayed, won't be here till tonight.”

The front door opened and Jody stepped out, grinning at them, with Lina trailing behind her, a chocolate chip cookie in each hand. “So this is what you are now, huh, just an old Grandma baking cookies all day?” Dean teased.

Jody smiled sweetly, “Fuck you, Winchester.” They both laughed and hugged.

The rest of the afternoon was spent catching up, discussing the days ahead, and trying to get Lina to run off some of her excess energy. A couple of hours after dinner, they were all relaxing in the living room when Sam finally arrived. He hugged everyone and then dropped onto the couch with a sigh. “How was the job?” Dean asked.

“Fine, messy, but everyone's good and Garth is gonna make sure everything is covered. He'll be here Saturday morning.”

Sam looked thoroughly exhausted, so after getting caught up on the latest—at least what they could discuss in front of Lina—they all dispersed to their bedrooms. Dean and Cas took the guestroom as usual and Lina slept with them, on a mattress set up where her crib had been. Cas was laying down reading and Dean was stretched out next to him, “Oh thank god.” Dean said, when he looked over and noticed that Lina had already dropped off to sleep, in spite of putting up the usual, 'I don't want to go to bed' fight. “Well, she's barely slept for three days.” Cas said, tucking a bookmark into his book and reaching up to set it on the shelf sitting over the head of the bed.

“You're not gonna let that go, are you?”

Cas smiled as he turned on his side, so Dean could scoot closer and slip an arm around his waist. “Perhaps tomorrow.”

* * *

The next day was a whirlwind, getting all the last minute preparations finished, picking things up, making sure everything was ready. Then Saturday finally rolled around and they spent the morning setting up chairs and putting up the very few decorations in the gym they had rented for the reception. The ceremony took place at Jody's church in the afternoon. It was going to be small and simple, no tuxedos, no fancy ballgowns, just a little gathering of family and friends, a few vows, and then a lot of booze (as Jody had put it). One of Garth's cousins was taking pictures and a few of Bobby and Jody's friends showed up.

When the ceremony started, Lina walked down the aisle, wearing a little sparkly dress, her hair pulled back in a braid, accented with a sparkly headband. She was carrying a little bouquet of flowers and singing, “Getting married! Getting married!” as she went, making everybody smile. She got to the front and grabbed Bobby's sleeve, “Grandma looks beautiful!” She said loudly, “You'll see.” Bobby chuckled and kissed her on the head, then Dean picked her up and held her on his hip, as he stood next to Bobby. Jody wore a simple fitted white dress, that fell mid calf, and walked down the aisle on Sam's arm. “I told you!” Lina exclaimed when they walked into the room and everyone laughed.

The ceremony was short and sweet, and Dean couldn't help but smile as he watched. For as long as they had known Bobby, he'd been a gruff man, who didn't like to say much. This day was no different, however, one look at his face told the whole story. Somehow the two of them fit together perfectly and they were so in love it was ridiculous. Just before the ceremony was over, Dean noticed Cas furrow his brow and glance back over his shoulder, he followed his gaze, but didn't see anything. Dean gave him a questioning look, but Cas just smiled slightly and shook his head.

They all carpooled over to the gym for the reception, walked into the big room and froze. Jody's jaw dropped, “Oh. My. God.” She breathed. The gym looked like a ballroom, the walls were covered in flowers and twinkling lights, there was white silk draped from the ceiling, and all of the tables were decorated in the same silk, with candles in the center. There was a table stretching the length of one side of the room, covered with all different kinds of food and on the opposite wall there was a fully stocked bar, complete with a bartender. “What the...?” Jody said, gaping at the room, “Where...?” She looked at Bobby and then at Dean and Sam, but everyone was just as shocked as she was.

Suddenly music started playing and a disco ball dropped from the ceiling, lighting up a dance floor on the opposite side of the room and a DJ booth set up on a little stage, where Gabriel was wearing headphones and sunglasses. He threw one hand in the air, “LET'S PARTY, BITCHES!”

When Gabriel came down from the booth, Bobby shook his hand and Jody gave him a hug. “Thank you.” She said, still looking a little blown away. “I don't know what to say.”

“Nah, it's cool.”

“This was very nice, Gabriel.” Cas said, “Thank you.”

“Oh god, please shut up. All of you. Go. Eat, drink, be mushy.” Gabe said, waving all of them away. They all turned to walk off, but Sam stepped up next to him and subtly kicked his foot. “Asshole.” He muttered, glancing at him with a furtive smile, before walking away. Gabriel smirked and jumped back up into the booth.

* * *

“What's that?” Dean asked, pointing across the bar at an unlabeled bottle of something clear, swirling with something blue. It had caught his eye before, because it sort of... glowed, but he really wasn't sure if it was a drink or a decoration. The bartender glanced at the bottle, “Oh, that's a special blend liqueur. Very potent.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I'm only allowed to serve it in shots.”

“That strong, huh? Lemme try it.”

The bartender smiled and poured Dean a shot of the strange liquid. He sniffed it and then tossed back the whole thing. The taste wasn't like any alcohol he'd tried before, it was a peculiar mix of sour and sweet and it didn't taste strong at all. Dean stared for a second at the empty glass, “Give me another.” The bartender raised one eyebrow slightly, “Are you sure? I've been informed that one is plenty for the desired effect.” Dean laughed, “I think I'll be fine.” The bartender shook his head, but filled the glass again. Right after throwing back his fifth shot, Dean turned around, and all at once it hit him. Warmth bloomed through his chest, his fingers started to tingle, and all of his thoughts developed a sort of bright peach colored haze. “Woah.” He said quietly, putting a hand on the bar to keep himself upright as the world started to tilt. Sam walked up next to him and ordered a drink, “Hey dude, draining the bar?”

Dean looked him up and down for a second, “Sammy, you... you ARE TALL!! D'you know that?”

“I'm gonna take that as a yes.” Sam said, with a laugh. He patted Dean on the shoulder, making him teeter sideways far enough that Sam had to grab his shirt and steady him. “Dude, how much...”

“WOW!” Dean interrupted, pointing across the room, “WHO'S THAT?!” Sam looked where he was pointing and then looked back at him confused, “Him?"

"YEAH! Th'purple guy!"

"You mean Cas? Your... boyfriend?”

Dean's eyes went wide, “Oh m'god, REALLY?! Thas my boyfriend?!”

“Um. Yes.” Sam said slowly. “Dean, are you okay?”

“Pfft... yeah. M'boyfriend's fuckin hot!”

* * *

Cas had seen a lot of weddings in his time, so he understood the process, but he had never really understood the giddiness often associated with them. He now realized that he had never actually been a part of those weddings or had the kind of relationship with the people involved that he had with these people. Being connected apparently made a substantial difference, because watching everyone now, he did feel happy. These occasions really were quite beautiful. At first everyone was just eating, drinking, and chatting, but it wasn't long before they all started loosening up, being silly and happy, dancing out on the dance floor. Lina had found her way up into the DJ booth, was sitting on Gabriel's shoulders, and looked like she was having a grand time. Jody and Bobby were sitting opposite Cas at the table, he turned to say something to them, when Dean staggered up to him. “Hey sexy.” He slurred, waggling his eyebrows, “Sammy says yur m' boyfriend. S'that true?”

“What? I don't understand.”

Dean leaned in a little closer, emphasizing his words, “Are. You. M'boyfriend?”

“Yes, I am. Are you alright?”

Dean stepped forward and dropped into his lap, draping an arm around his neck, “Good! Thas good. Cause yur purple, N'I like you.” He kissed his cheek, “Wass yur name?”

Cas was completely confused, but answered anyway, “Castiel, but you call me Cas.” Dean started giggling, “Thas a funny name, but I like it.” He kissed his cheek again and then kissed his neck. “M' names Dean.” Cas looked to Bobby and Jody for answers, but they both just smiled and shrugged.

“You had a bit to drink, boy?” Bobby asked.

Dean looked up at him and smiled broadly, “Hi!” He said excitedly, then pointed at Cas, “This m'boyfriend!” Jody snorted and Bobby just nodded, both of them trying not to laugh.

Just as Sam was walking over to the table, a new song started to play. “Ooh! C'm on!” Dean said loudly, jumping off of Cas' lap and trying to pull off his suit jacket in one motion, nearly falling over in the process. “Les dance!” He said, throwing his jacket on the table. He grabbed Cas' hand, pulling him to his feet and dragging him to the dance floor. The song was peppy, something about putting a ring on something, it didn't make much sense. Of course, Cas was also more than a little distracted by the way Dean was dancing, with his arms over his head, he was not being at all shy about shaking his hips to the rhythm. Cas knew that Dean was intoxicated, this wasn't exactly the first time he'd seen it, but he had never seen him quite like _this_ before. For one thing, Dean wasn't usually a particularly happy drunk, yet tonight it was like all the weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Cas just sort of stood there awkwardly, watching as Dean danced around him. “Dean, I'm sorry, I don't really know how to dance like this.” He said, glancing back at the table, where Sam, Bobby, and Jody were all watching them and laughing hysterically.

“S'okay.” Dean said, with a smile, as he continued dancing.

After another minute, the song changed, this time to something slow and calm. Dean bit his lip and grinned, then threw his arms around Cas' neck and started swaying to the music. Cas put his arms around Dean's waist and swayed with him, thankful that at least he was better at dancing like this.

Eventually the night came to a close, Gabriel told them to just the leave the mess, but waited to handle it until those who didn't know exactly who he was had left. He snapped his fingers and immediately the gym was back in order and looked completely normal. “God, I wish I could do that.” Jody said, looking around the room.

They all walked out to the parking lot. Sam was carrying Lina, who had given in to her sleepiness about a half hour earlier. Dean was hanging on Cas, kissing his jaw, pawing at his shirt, and giggling, while Cas was just focusing on keeping him upright. “He had the special stuff, didn't he?” Gabe asked, gesturing at Dean.

Cas squinted at him, “What special stuff?”

Gabe made a face and then pretended he hadn't heard him, “So I guess I should probably be getting back, lots of important stuff to do.”

“Gabriel...?”

“Congrats on the marrying thing!” He said quickly to Bobby and Jody, then winked at Sam and vanished.

It figured that this was Gabriel's fault, knowing his brother, that should have been his first guess. Dean straightened up suddenly, “BYE!” He said, waving at the spot where Gabriel had been standing, then grabbed Cas' shoulder, “He's a nice lil gnome.”

* * *

The lights were beautiful. Dean was in awe as he watched them, all different colors, swirling through the air, bouncing off of each other, sometimes intertwining and forming new colors. He wanted to reach out and catch one, but he was afraid it might scare them away. He looked to his right, where Sam was sitting and grinned, watching the shifting shades of yellow, pink, and blue floating around him, sparking and turning to bright shades of green, before relaxing back into the soft peachy haze that hung in the air.

He turned around in his seat, watching the lights bounce around Bobby, Jody, and Lina, mixing with all sorts of other colors, along with the occasional little red burst around Lina, that turned bright blue as it mingled with the haze. He giggled and sat straight again, looking out the front windshield of the Impala, watching colors shooting all around the sky, there were so many colors, probably all of the colors, well, all but one. He looked over at Cas—who was driving—and his mouth fell open, it was still as shocking as it had been the first time he saw it. Every shade of purple imaginable, mingling with a pure light, dancing all around him. Dean was certain it was the most breathtaking thing he had ever seen. He wondered why no one else had purple, just Cas, just his Cas, his Castiel, his little Cassie baby. He reached out and put a hand on Cas' thigh. “Yur s'pretty.” He said.

The purple changed directions and sped up slightly, “Thank you, Dean.”

At some point the car stopped and there was the sound of doors opening and closing, he looked over and saw Cas moving to open his door. “NO!” He shouted, launching himself forward and grabbing the handle, slamming the door shut again. “Dean, we need to put Lina...” Cas was still talking, but Dean had stopped listening. He was focusing on climbing into Cas' lap, while keeping a firm grip on the door handle. “No.” He said quietly, pressing kisses to his face and neck.

“Dean. Stop it. We need to...”

“No. Stay.”

Out of the corner of his eye Dean saw Jody poke her head back into the car sending off a spark of yellow, “Don't worry, Cas.” She said with a chuckle, “We'll take care of her.” Cas nodded, the door closed, and Dean sat back a little, giggling again, “Stay'n with me.” He said proudly. Cas looked up at him and sighed, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Dean's eyes went wide, watching the streaks of purple light, as they suddenly grew brighter and expanded, then started flying around, filling up the inside of the car.

Cas tilted his head, “What are you looking at?”

Dean grinned, then scrambled over Cas' shoulder into the backseat. He grabbed the car seat and flung it into the front. “C'm on, baby!” He said and before he could even blink, Cas was sitting next to him. “WOW! Yur mazing!” He said, then grew very serious and grabbed the sides of Cas' face, “List'n, I'd really l'k to fuck you, s'that okay?”

Cas smiled and nodded.

“M'glad.” He said, then started trying to unbuckle his belt, fumbling with it and getting progressively more frustrated, until he finally looked up at Cas in a panic, “It won't open!”

“It's okay, Dean.” Cas said, reaching over to still his hands, as the purple all around them sped up again, “I'll help.”

It wasn't just pleasure, it wasn't just bare skin, or two bodies moving together, with Cas it had always been more, but there in that moment it was just... it was... indescribable. Watching his face, mouth open, eyes closed. _Perfection. That's the word. He's perfection._ Cas was panting and moaning softly, every sound that he made creating bursts of an electric purple that spiraled around the other shades and then exploded like little fireworks. Suddenly Cas was moaning louder, he tightened his fingers in Dean's hair, his other hand scrabbling for a grip on the seat. The purple around them started moving faster and faster, until all of the shades were blurring together, then Cas arched his back and cried out. Dean pressed his forehead against Cas' and groaned, squeezing his eyes closed, he only lasted a few more seconds before feeling his own release.

When he opened his eyes again, Cas was stroking his cheek softly and staring up at him with concern, “Dean, what's wrong?” He could feel the tears on his face, but there was nothing wrong, absolutely nothing, he just didn't know how to explain.

“Cas.” He said carefully, “I... I m'too.”

“What do you mean?”

He lifted his hand and showed it to him, “M'purple too. Does th's mean y'love me?”

Cas looked more confused for a fraction of a second, then his face relaxed into a fond smile, “Of course.”

Dean's eyes filled up with tears again and he adjusted, so he could lay against Cas and press his face into his neck, “M'so happy m'purple too.”

* * *

_What the hell did I drink last night?! Even the hangover is fucking weird!_ Dean thought as he showered and changed the next morning. He had been fully expecting to have the mother of all hangovers, but instead just had a mild headache and odd lingering spots in his eyes, like he'd stared too long at a bright light. Even though he remembered what he'd seen in vivid detail, he couldn't even begin to put it into words, especially when he thought about that vibrant purple light all around Cas. It actually felt really strange not seeing the peach colored haze, with all the other colors swirling around. He felt stupid even thinking it, but it was almost like the way he'd seen people last night, was the way they were _supposed_ to be seen, so looking at them now it was as if something very important was missing.

Lina was still asleep after staying up long passed her bedtime the night before, but everyone else was in the kitchen. When Dean walked in, Cas greeted him, but everyone else just smiled and glanced at him without saying a word.

"So...?" Jody started to say, but Dean stopped her. "Let's get one thing straight. Yes, I know I was drunk or high or whatever last night, but we are not talking about it, okay? Not ever."

Sam walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, barely able to contain the amusement on his face, "Dude, you're my brother and I love you no matter what, but last night... you rocked out to Beyonce and I mean, you rocked out hard."

"Shut up." Dean said, feeling his face heating up, "You can't use that against me, I was high, it doesn't count!"

"Oh, Dean, I have video. Believe me, it counts."

"Sam, so help me," Dean gritted out, jabbing a finger at him, "If you...!"

"It's okay, relax, I already promised Cas I wouldn't show it to anyone unless you needed a reminder." Dean glanced briefly at Cas, who was staring down at his coffee and trying not to smile, "A reminder of what?!"

"Oh nothing, just that if you like it..."

Everyone busted up laughing before Sam could even finish and Dean worked his jaw, blushing furiously.

"Yeah, that's it, I fucking hate all of you."

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

The idea of Lina starting school had been nerve racking for everyone for a lot of reasons. Dean and Cas had decided early on to keep the 'family business' from her until she was older, but there were other odd things about her family that might make school difficult. Cas tried not to use his powers too extensively in front of Lina, but she was still accustomed to things that wouldn't be normal to most people, like the way that her Poppy (and a few aunts and uncles) could appear and disappear at will. She was also used to Cas' super strength and the fact that he never ate or slept. None of these things really struck her as odd yet, she just knew that some members of her family could do certain things and some couldn't. It was easy enough to keep things simple and normal at home, but school was going to be a different story.

After going back and forth for a couple of weeks, they decided it was time to have the big angel talk, or at least part of it. They talked to her about how most people couldn't do the things that Poppy, or Uncle Gabe, or Aunt Debah could do. How a lot of people had never seen those kinds of things before and might get upset or not believe her if she told them. They didn't really want to tell her to straight up lie, but they tried to encourage her that it would probably be best not to mention the 'special' things that Poppy (and the others) could do. Dean hated having to lay any of this on her, but more than anything he wanted her to have the chance at a semi normal life, which, unfortunately, meant that she was going to have to learn to keep certain things about her family a secret.

Well, not just her family, but herself too. Lina had not yet thought to question where she came from or noticed the ways that she differed from the average kid, but they knew that eventually that would change. They just wanted to make sure that no one else noticed it too. Dean was probably more nervous about this than anything else. It was one thing if Lina casually mentioned that her Poppy could lift cars or turn invisible, those were things that could be chalked up to an overactive imagination. It would be a completely different story if someone noticed _her_ abilities, particularly the accelerated healing. Dean was concerned about her adjustment, but he was even more concerned about her safety. He didn't want her spark of grace to make her a target for any aspect of the supernatural world, including hunters.

Of course, along with the angelic issues, there was plenty of normal human stuff to be worried about. They had already been talking to Lina about how there are all different kinds of families, and how a lot of the kids at her school might have a Daddy and Mommy, instead of a Daddy and Poppy. She had become absolutely distraught at this news, “But why?” She'd said, looking horrified, “What happened to their Poppy?” It took a lot of careful explaining to convince her that Cas was not going to disappear or be taken away somehow when she started school. They also tried to have open discussions about how some people might not understand why she has a Daddy and Poppy, that there may be people who don't like it and say mean things, and what she should do in those situations. They were trying to prepare her as best they could for anything that might happen, but how do you really prepare a five year old for narrow-minded assholes.

* * *

By the time they got to the week before school, Lina was excited. She had all of her school supplies, which she looked over carefully each night before she went to bed, and she had been practicing her full name incessantly, something she was convinced was going to be important. Dean was still nervous, but glad to see her excited, Cas, however, was not quite so on board with the upcoming separation. To say that he wasn't handling things well was an understatement.

“Because it's creepy, Cas.”

“No, it's not.”

“Cas.”

“I won't let anyone know I'm there. They won't see me. That's not creepy.”

“An invisible man standing in the corner of a kindergarten class watching the kids? That is literally the definition of creepy.”

“Just for a little while, just until I'm sure she's okay.”

“She's gonna be fine, Cas. You can't go invisible girl and follow her around for the rest of her life. She has to be able to do things on her own.”

Cas scowled at him, “You know, the last time you said something like that, I listened to you and then Jehu nearly killed Lina and Reumah nearly killed you!”

“That didn't have anything to do with that! Besides, we're being careful and Gabriel said he was going to take precautions with the school. Now, I'm gonna go make sure Lina is ready. You think you can at least wait to throw the rest of your little bitch fit until after the meeting?!”

Cas crossed his arms, looking highly offended, “I am not throwing a fit!”

As they drove to the school Dean talked with Lina, while Cas stared out his window and maintained an icy silence, broken only occasionally when he turned to glare at Dean. Lina didn't really start looking nervous until they were getting out of the car. She hovered next to the Impala, keeping one hand pressed firmly against the door, as she looked around at all the other people that were there for the Meet Your Teacher night. “I don't think I need to go to school.” She said. Dean smirked and picked her up, “It's okay, squirt. Let's just go inside and look around.” He made a face at Cas, who looked equally unhappy to be there, “ _Right_ , Cas?” Cas didn't say anything, but he did follow when Dean started for the front doors.

The school was pretty small, but Lebanon wasn't a particularly big town. The kindergarten through 6th grade were all combined in one school, with the junior high and high school combined in a different building across town. When they went inside, a well dressed, heavy set woman greeted them, “Hello! Are you here for Meet Your Teacher night?” Dean nodded. “Okay, I'm Kara Everett, I'm the principal here. If you could just sign in really quick. We need your names and ID's and your child's name.”

Thanks to Gabriel, they had everything they needed as far as paperwork, including a last name and the appropriate ID's for Cas (they had decided that going with Novak would be too complicated), so getting her enrolled had not been a big issue. They walked over to the little desk and handed the woman their driver's licenses, “Dean Winchester and Castiel... Angelo.” Dean said, silently cursing Gabriel's stupid fucking sense of humor, as he bit back a smile. “And this is Lina Winchester.”

“Ah, I have you right here. Just sign your names here.” The woman pointed to a box on a clipboard. Dean signed his name and handed the clipboard to Cas, trying to give him a look that said 'you better fucking sign it'. Cas hesitated just for a second and then took the board and signed his name too.

“Okay, here are your name tags, we're glad to have you. Just head straight down this hallway, the kindergarten class will be the fifth door on the right. And if you need anything, our staff are in the blue shirts like this one...” She pointed to her own blue shirt, “with the school symbol on the front and 'Welcome Pups' on the back.” Dean thanked her and then they all headed down the hallway.

The classroom was average sized and looked about how you would imagine a kindergarten classroom. There were little tables and chairs, a row of hooks and shelves on one side of the room for backpacks, a play area, an art area, and a rocking chair in one corner on a big rug that had all different colors on it. Lina continued to cling to Dean's jacket, but had finally started looking around, taking in all the posters that had different nature pictures on them. “Hi!” A woman in one of the blue school shirts waved at them as she crossed the room, “Welcome!” She was an older woman, with wild gray curls, “Hi! Hi! My name's Terry Walsh, I'm the kindergarten teacher!”

“Dean Winchester.”

“Castiel... Cas Angelo”

“Oh, right! I saw Castiel on my list, I love your name, it's so unusual! And you must be Lina.”

“Hi.” Lina said quietly, just looking at her for a second.

“Aw, are you feeling a little shy?” Terry said, “Because that's okay. We all feel shy sometimes. My name is Ms. Walsh, I'm going to be your teacher and I promise this class is really fun.” She smiled at Dean and Cas, “Feel free to look around and come find me if you have any questions.” Terry walked away and they made a lap around the classroom, looking at all of the decorations. Dean set Lina down, when she wanted to take a closer look at a floor to ceiling poster of a tree.

“Yeah. I think that's them.”

“Oh, I guess so.”

Hearing people talking in hushed voices, Dean glanced over his shoulder, at a group of about seven of the parents that were huddled together, watching them. “I don't know, maybe it's not. I mean, they're not really _acting_ gay.” Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to yell or laugh. Living in a small town in the Midwest, it wasn't exactly a surprise that rumors had gotten around about the 'gay' couple, but it was still annoying as hell. What did they really expect, that he and Cas would be humping each other as they visit their daughters kindergarten?! He looked at Cas, who was paying no attention to the group and was instead watching Terry suspiciously. Dean nudged him, “What?”

“I don't trust her. I don't think Lina should stay here.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “She's fine, Cas. Besides I think Mrs. Sunshine over there is gonna be the least of our problems.” He glanced back at the group of parents who all quickly looked away. They did meet a few parents that were nice and he was glad that Terry seemed okay, if not a little annoyingly cheerful. When they got back to the bunker (or home, as they were trying to get used to calling it. One less thing for Lina to have to explain.) Cas immediately went into the kitchen and started doing dishes. Dean knew he was still upset—mostly because there weren't actually any dishes to do, he was just pulling things out of the cabinets and rewashing them—but he didn't want to keep arguing and he wasn't sure how to help. “You ever gonna be okay with this?” He said softly.

“I just don't see why she has to go to school!” Cas snapped, “What if something happens?! What if she needs us?!” The glass that Cas was scrubbing shattered in his hand. “Hey. Hey.” Dean grabbed his wrist and turned him around, “It's okay. She's gonna be okay. If she needs us, you'll hear her, same as always.” Cas took a deep breath, but Dean could see the tears starting to form. “I have to be there, I have to protect her.” He said, “If something happened to either of you... I don't... I couldn't...” He trailed off and Dean wrapped his arms around him, letting Cas bury his face in his shirt. “We're not goin anywhere. I promise.”

* * *

Lina's first day went off without a hitch, if you didn't count Cas disappearing out of the Impala right after they dropped her off and Dean having to yell-pray until he reappeared again. Cas really struggled the first week, he tried to stay cheerful for Lina's sake, but he was still incredibly uncomfortable with the situation. However, after a few conversations with Gabriel and a few weeks of adjusting, he was starting to calm down. Dean knew that he still worried, but it was getting better. Lina was actually settling in with surprising ease. In fact, other than the usual kid stuff, the only issue thus far had been something Dean honestly hadn't thought about. Apparently the school didn't take too kindly to Lina muttering 'son of a bitch' when she accidentally spilled her juice or telling another kid that was bothering her to fuck off. Cas didn't really have an opinion on the matter and Dean didn't believe in the whole never swearing around kids and never letting kids swear thing. He figured if she wasn't over using it and was using it appropriately, then it wasn't a big deal, the school, however, did not share his views. Eventually Dean grudgingly agreed to a not-at-school rule, mainly just because he didn't want Lina to keep getting in trouble.

“Hey, I'm gonna go grab some lunch with Sam.” Dean said, walking into the kitchen. Cas was baking a pie for after dinner and was pretty well coated with flour. Sometimes Dean had to wonder if he was just throwing the flour around, there were few other ways to explain the amount that usually ended up on his clothes and in his hair. “Alright. Have fun.” Cas said. Dean pecked him on the lips and then found Sam in the hallway. “Ready?”

“Yep, let's go.”

Looking out the diner window, Dean watched the cars pass on the road outside. Even though nobody but Bobby knew it, today was actually a big day for him, he had made a decision. It was something he'd been thinking about for a while and something he had discussed pretty extensively with Bobby after the wedding. “So what did you wanna talk about?” Sam said, when the food arrived.

“I want you to take me off the active database.”

“What?”

“You can keep me on the emergencies only one, but not the active.”

Thus far there were three databases in the Network, the Active, the Emergencies Only, and the Red Flags. The active database was a running list of hunters who were actively hunting and could be called upon at any point to handle cases. The Emergencies Only database was a list of hunters who were not actively hunting, but were willing to hunt if the need was truly substantial (read apocalyptic, etc.) or if a hunter needed help desperately and had no one else to reach out to. The Red Flags database was a list of hunters that were considered trouble or whose tactics were not approved by the Network.

Sam set down his fork and looked at him, incredulous. “You're not gonna hunt anymore?”

Dean shrugged, “Well, the occasional one here and there maybe, but I uh... I actually got a job. Well, I guess technically Bobby got me a job.”

“A... job? Like, a normal job?”

“Yeah, Bobby knows this guy in Phillipsburg, whose brother runs an auto shop here and was willing to give me a shot.”

Sam just looked at him quietly for a moment and then nodded, “Okay.” He said, then picked his fork back up and took a bite of his salad.

“Okay? That's it? No bitching, no talking about our feelings, no endless list of annoying questions?”

“What questions? You wanna be around for Cas and Lina and you wanna try to give Lina a normal life. I get it.”

Dean huffed a laugh and took a bite of his burger, leave it to his little brother to take two minutes to figure out what took him six months.

When they got back to the bunker— _home, home, we're calling it home now._ —Dean went to tell Cas the news. Sam was in the library scribbling notes on a notepad, when he heard a thud, some things falling over, and then a thumping sound like something being knocked against a wall. He got up to investigate and made it about three steps down the hallway before he heard Dean yell, “Oh fuck, Cas!” and then start groaning loudly in time with the thumps. Sam slapped his hands over his ears and very, very quickly decided to finish his note taking in his room, with his noise canceling headphones.

“Wow.” Dean said breathlessly, sprawled over Cas on the bed, “That was new.” Cas smiled sheepishly, “Sorry. I got a little excited.” Dean looked over at the huge dent in the wall next to the dresser and then back at Cas, “A little?” They both chuckled.

“So... you're happy, right?” Dean said, tracing shapes on Cas' arm with his finger.

“Dean, I'm always happy to be by your side. That is not going to change.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I would have supported you regardless.”

Dean pinched his side and looked at him, “Listen, you little dick, you just fucked me against a wall so hard we nearly knocked the thing down. I'm gonna have some serious bruises and I wanna be sure I'm getting the right message, so if you're happy, just say you're happy!”

Cas smiled, “I'm happy.”

Dean laid his head back against Cas' chest and sighed, “Good. I am too.”

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

There are things that happen in life that you simply cannot explain, these things aren't necessarily miracles, sometimes it's just something simple, a feeling you never thought you would feel, an outcome you never thought would be possible. Dean had imagined his life playing out a lot of different ways, most of them involved darkness and a bloody end, a few involved finding a woman to love and hunt with, not a single one came even remotely close to where his life was now. Settled down in the small town of Lebanon, Kansas, working as a mechanic, raising a child with an angel who was the love of his life. He was practically a respectable civilian. Sometimes he wasn't sure if this was how it was always supposed to be or if he and his brother had just screwed with destiny so much that she finally gave up and just started letting shit happen. For the moment, he didn't care. He always thought he would be bored out of his skull without hunting, but he wasn't. He actually looked forwards everyday to his mundane job, to coming home to his weird little family and doing all the stupid things that normal people do. He was happy, like actually happy, the kind of happy that they talked about in crappy Hallmark cards, the kind of happy he never thought he could ever be... and of course, because this is his life, the day he had this realization was the day the staring started.

Dean had been working at J&J's Garage (owned by Jack and Janet Washington) for less than six months and had just arrived home from work. It was a random Wednesday, nothing special. Cas was in the den sitting on one side of the couch reading a book, while Lina was on the other side, with Sam sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of her. Sam had his laptop open in his lap and was sipping a beer, as Lina ran a hairbrush through his hair.

“Hi Daddy, I'm fixing Uncle Sammy's hair!”

“Umm...”

“Don't knock it till you've tried it.” Sam said without looking up from the screen, “It's very relaxing.”

Dean smiled, as much at the image of his brother getting his hair done by a six year old, as at how peaceful Lina looked. Her face read as equal parts concentration and calm, as she ran her fingers carefully through the length of hair that she had just brushed. He pulled out his phone and raised it to take a picture. “You do that and I'll send your Beyonce video to every person we know.” Sam said. Dean narrowed his eyes, but lowered the phone anyway. That was when he noticed that Cas was squinting at him, “Are you okay?” Cas asked, tilting his head like he was trying to figure something out.

“What?”

“Are you okay?” He repeated.

“Uh... yeah. Why?”

“Nothing, I suppose.”

“Okay. Whatever. I'm gonna go take a shower.” Dean said, stepping back into the hallway. He paused and stuck his phone back around the corner, snapping a quick picture of Sam and Lina.

Throughout dinner, the staring continued. Now granted staring was pretty normal for Cas, really just a part of the package and Dean had learned to tune it out years ago, but this was a lot more intense than it had been in a long time. Sam kept giving Dean questioning looks, but he honestly had no idea what was going on. After dinner, Dean helped Cas carry dishes to the kitchen. “So what's up?” He asked, nudging his arm, as he set the dishes in the sink.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you've been staring at me like I've got something growin outta my face.”

Cas studied him for a second, “I can't really...” He paused and squinted again, “Are you sure you're feeling alright?”

“Yes! Why do you keep asking me that?!”

“I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Cas didn't say anything more, but he did keep staring and it only got worse as the night went on. Sam finally said goodnight and excused himself to his room to escape the uncomfortable tension. Dean asked a few more times what was wrong, but Cas just kept dismissing it and then continued watching him intently. It was bad enough that even Lina noticed. “Why is Poppy being weird?” She asked, as she followed Dean back to her bedroom. “I don't know, squirt, he's just... thinking about stuff I guess.”

After putting Lina to bed and spending almost two hours trying to watch TV under the intense observation of a pair of blue eyes, Dean gave up and went to get ready for bed himself. Even when he was brushing his teeth in the bathroom, Cas stood in the hallway silently watching him. Dean spit into the sink and sighed, “So is this gonna be like a thing now?” Cas furrowed his brow and didn't answer. “Cas?” Still no answer. “Fine, you just stand there and be creepy, I'm hittin the sack.” As he walked passed, Cas caught his wrist, “It might be nothing.”

“What?”

“I thought I'd seen it before, but it was always so faint and it always faded away, sometimes it didn't seem to be there at all. I just assumed it... I don't know what I assumed.”

“What're you talking about?”

“Today it's different, it's just _there_.”

“What is?”

“I've been watching it since you came home, but it isn't fading this time. It's only a hint, but it's so... bright.”

“Cas, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Grace.”

“Grace? What?” Dean's face turned serious, “Wait... grace... as in _your_ grace?” Before Cas could answer Dean grabbed his arm and yanked him into the bathroom, “Are you fucking with me? Cause it's not funny!” Cas shook his head. “Dean, I'm not...”

“Are you saying that there is grace in me?”

“It's only...”

“No. No. Cause if I have _that_ in me... that would mean... Oh my god. Does that mean...?!” He gestured to his stomach. Cas opened his mouth to speak. “Oh come on!” Dean interrupted, “How the hell could that even be fucking possible?!”

“I don't...”

“I thought I had to touch your grace or something?!”

“Dean, I don't know, but...”

“It's not possible right?! It couldn't be.”

“Dean...”

“Great, this is just fucking great!” Dean stormed out of the bathroom and down to their room, slamming the door behind him. Cas wasn't sure what to do, so he just waited in the hallway. He assumed that Dean needed space and he had plenty to think about too.

* * *

It took less than a week for Cas to be sure and it definitely wasn't nothing. Neither of them knew how it had happened, how it could even be possible. With past experience, they knew enough to know that the process of grace and soul combining wasn't instant, if it happened at all, it took time. Cas first recalled noticing something about a month after Bobby and Jody's wedding, a faint twinkle he caught out of the corner of his eye, that vanished as fast as it appeared. Of course, the first thing they suspected was Gabriel and his 'special stuff', because it was the only thing out of the ordinary that had happened in the last couple of years. So the next evening after Sam and Lina had gone to bed, they snuck out and called Gabriel in front of the bunker. “What? I was right in the middle of...” Gabriel's irritated expression faded and he seemed genuinely surprised as he looked at Dean. “Well, that's... new.” He looked at Cas, then back at Dean, and then burst out laughing.

“What the fuck are you laughing at?” Dean said angrily.

“Oh my god! You two!” Gabe gasped, “Oh my god! You're... YOU'RE LIKE RABBITS!”

“It's not funny, Gabriel.” Cas said sternly.

“Are you kidding?! It's hilarious! I mean, come ON! It was rare enough the first time you ' _accidentally_ ' knocked up freckle face, we're talking a million to one, but a second time?! That's like... like...”

“Oh so I guess you're just gonna pretend you had nothing to do with this?!”

Gabe sobered and made a face, “Me? I didn't do anything.”

“Yes you did, you asshole! You gave me that drink?!”

“First of all, I didn't give you anything, dipshit. Second, my drinks are perfectly harmless if you have the recommended amount, I'm not the moron who had FIVE shots!”

Dean was seething, he took a step forward, but Cas put a hand on his shoulder, keeping him still and trying to calm him. “So you allowed Dean to drink it even knowing what it might do?”

Gabe let out a long suffering sigh. “How many times do I have to say this?! I didn't do anything and my drink didn't do anything. I mean sure, it theoretically might have made certain things possible, but whatever happened after that was all you two.”

"Fucking waste of time talking to this asshole." Dean said,as he stomped back towards the bunker with Cas trailing behind him. “Congrats, Deano!” Gabe called after them and Dean flipped him off, sending Gabe into another fit of laughter.

* * *

Standing shirtless in front of the bathroom mirror, Dean stared at his stomach. There was nothing there yet, but still it was strange. Sometimes he could remember vividly what it was like when he was pregnant with Lina, but most of the time it felt more like a dream than something that actually happened. “Are you alright?” Cas asked, slipping his arms around Dean's waist and kissing his shoulder before resting his chin on it.

“Yeah.” He said, nodding slowly.

“I'm sorry, Dean.”

“It's okay.”

The truth was that he didn't really know if he was alright or if maybe it just hadn't hit him yet. He felt like he was supposed to be horrified, or angry, or freaking out like he did the last time, but he just... wasn't. In fact, he was kind of freaked out that he wasn't freaking out. He knew that this was going to be so many different kinds of complicated. They were going to have to figure out how to explain things to Lina, to his job, and then the whole thing with Lina's school and how they would react. _That should be amusing to watch._ He chuckled at the thought, then dropped his head into his hands and sighed. “God, my life is fucking weird.”

Cas didn't ask why Dean had chuckled, he was just relieved to see him smile. He'd been startled when he first saw the spark of light inside his hunter, which had quickly turned to concern when he realized exactly what it was that was illuminating his soul. He didn't know how Dean would react to the possibility of another child and the last thing he wanted was to force him to go through another unwanted pregnancy. Thankfully however, Dean seemed somewhat okay with the situation, perhaps not thrilled, but okay. For Cas, his priority was Dean, how he felt about everything himself was secondary, especially since he didn't have any idea how to handle what he was feeling. Guilt, for putting Dean in this situation again, anger, at Gabriel for, well, being Gabriel, mostly though, he just couldn't stop thinking about it. _I wonder if it's going to be a boy or a girl. I wonder who it's going to look more like. Maybe it will be more blond like Dean. Lina is probably going to love having a brother or sister. I am going to have two children. Two perfect angel/human children with Dean Winchester._ The thoughts kept coming, spinning through his mind so fast he hadn't been able to settle enough to meditate or pray. He was going to be a father again, which was bizarre... and kind of wonderful.

They talked about waiting to tell everyone. Cas was willing to do whatever Dean was comfortable with, but obviously since Gabriel knew, it wouldn't stay secret for long (if he hadn't blabbed already). Dean told Sam first and for several minutes Sam just stared at him blankly, “How... how is that possible?”

“Gabriel.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“So... wow. Damn. Are you okay?”

“Not like there's anything we can do about it now.”

Sam tilted his head, “Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Just thought you'd be more upset, I mean last time you were so...” He paused and watched Dean's face, “Oh my god, you're actually happy about this.”

“What? No!” Sam crossed his arms, giving him a knowing smile. Dean rolled his eyes, “Shut up.”

After tellling Bobby and Jody, they sat Lina down and tried to keep it simple and light. “What do you think?” Cas asked finally. Lina furrowed her brow and looked hard at Dean. “So there's a baby in Daddy's tummy?” They both nodded. “That's weird.” She said, wrinkling her nose. “Why's it in there?”

Cas smiled softly, “So he can keep it safe and help it grow.”

“Oh. Okay.” She thought about everything for a second, then looked at Dean suspiciously, “Is the baby gonna sleep in my room?”

“No, squirt. You'll still have your own room.”

“Then I guess it's okay.” She said, with a shrug. They made sure that if she had any more questions she knew it was fine to ask. As far as how they would handle things at her school, they agreed that trying to make Lina keep it a secret wasn't fair for a six year old. If there was trouble, they would just have to deal with it.

* * *

It didn't take long for Dean to remember why being pregnant sucked. Of all the places for the morning sickness to start it had to be at work. He was eating lunch in the break room, talking to a couple of his coworkers, Janet and Randy. He had already eaten about half of his burger when he took another bite, nodded at something Janet said and then froze. _Oh fucking hell._ The nausea came on strong and he tried to force himself to chew, but his stomach turned as he could suddenly taste every drop of peppery bacon grease. _No. No. No. Not now._

“You okay?”

He looked at Janet and made himself swallow the bite, “Yeah, I'm... ohh... son of a bitch.” He clamped a hand over his mouth and bolted from the table, almost knocking Randy over and just barely making it into the bathroom before the contents of his stomach made a reappearance.

Even though he felt queasy for a few hours, that was the only time he threw up for the rest of the day, so it wasn't too hard to convince everyone that something was just wrong with his food. After he got home and cleaned up that afternoon, he found Cas reading to Lina in the den. “Daddy! Wait here! I gotta go get my stuff!” She cried, as she jumped off the couch and darted passed him and down the hallway.

"I'll be here." He called after her, then strolled over and dropped onto the couch next to Cas. “Hey.” He said, pecking him on the lips. “Hello, how was work?” Cas asked. Dean glanced at the door making sure Lina wouldn't hear him, "Fucking morning sickness started today."

"I'm sorry. Are you still feeling sick?"

"Nah, I'll live. Just... don't make anything with bacon for a while." He cringed, feeling a little nauseous thinking about it. Cas nodded, "I'll throw out what we have."

Lina hurried back into the room with an arm full of papers. Since Dean wasn't usually able to be there to pick her up from school, she had gotten used to catching him up on her day. If he was being honest, it was probably one of his favorite things. She dropped the papers on the couch, then one at a time showed him her drawings and other things from school, before launching into the highlights. He smiled as he listened to her, she was a very expressive talker, waving her hands around, every emotion obvious on her face. At different points both Sam and Cas had said that she looked like him when she talked like this, he didn't mind.

“Then Ben told me his daddy got a...” She paused and made a face, “A uhh... in... inguh... ingan... I don't know how to say it, but it's a really big lizard!”

“An Iguana?”

“Yeah! He showed a picture to the whole class, it's huge! He calls it Darth Vader, but I think that's a stupid name. I would have called it Hulk, cause it's green. Then Trissy found this rock next to the slide and we thought it was just a rock, but we showed it to Ms. Walsh and it wasn't a rock, it was a SNAIL SHELL! It was awesome, she let Trissy take it home. Ms. Walsh says maybe we can learn about snails next week. Did you know that a baby bear is called a cub?!”

“Really?”

“Mhm! And they eat meat AND planets!”

“Plants.” Cas corrected gently.

“Yeah, that's what I meant. Did you know bears can climb trees too? I like bears.”

“They do sound pretty cool.”

“Oh and guess what, I can almost do the whole letter song, wanna hear?”

“Sure.”

She straightened up a little and started singing the alphabet song, stopping at R, she leaned towards Cas, “Poppy.” She whispered, “What's after R?”

“S.” He whispered back.

“Oh, yeah!” She looked back at Dean, “Can I start over?”

“Go for it, squirt.”

She sang the song, got to U, skipped all the way to Z, then threw her arms open, "Ta-da! I told you I could almost do the... OH WAIT! I almost forgot!" Dean chuckled as she took off out the door and down the hall again, the girl was nothing but energy with hair. He slung his arm around Cas' shoulders, “I don't know how the hell we're gonna handle havin another one of those runnin around?”

“It will be a fairly substantial period of time before our next child is capable of running.”

Dean snorted and shook his head, "Yeah, thanks Cas." Lina sprang out from the doorway a couple of seconds later, wearing what was probably supposed to be a bear mask, made out of half of a paper plate and some stretchy string. “RAR!” She said, making her hands into claws. Dean clutched his chest, “Oh no! It's a bear!” She giggled and pulled off the mask, "No, Daddy, it's me!"

"Wow! I thought for sure it was a bear."

She looked thoroughly delighted, as she climbed into his lap. "I colored it myself."

"It's great."

"Okay, now you be the bear." She said, putting the mask on him. He let her fix it in place and then looked at Cas, "Whaddya think?" Cas chuckled, "Perfect." Dean grinned and Lina pulled the mask off of him, "Okay, now you Poppy." She put the mask on Cas and Dean burst out laughing.

Dean knew that this pregnancy was probably going to be just as miserable as the first one and he wasn't looking forwards to going through all of the sickness, pain, and general unpleasantness again. But as he sat there with his daughter in his lap and Cas by his side, wearing a paper plate, and making faces just to get them to laugh, he realized that if this was anything like the first time, then it was going to be so insanely worth it.

* * *

Gabriel was lost in thought, as he stood in his office staring across heaven through one of the windows. “Drink?” Balthazar said from behind him. Gabe turned around and took the glass from his hand. “Thanks.” Balthazar leaned against the table and took a sip from his own glass. “It's funny, I was thinking about that party.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and it's the strangest thing, I could have sworn I heard you specifically instruct that bartender to allow only Dean to have more than one shot of your... ' _special stuff_ '.”

“That is weird.”

“Yes, I must be confused, because you certainly wouldn't have any reason to intentionally make sure that Dean could get pregnant again.”

“Of course not, that'd be ridiculous.” They stared at each other unflinching and then Balthazar tossed back the last of his drink and set the glass next to the bottle. “That's what I thought.” He said, as he walked back towards the door. When the door clicked closed behind him, Gabriel dropped into a chair, kicked his feet up on the table, and snapped his fingers. He took a drink as he watched the little image. Dean, a little older, standing in front of the Impala, tools in hand, “Hopefully that'll do it. Try her again.” The Impala roared to life and Dean let the hood down, then Lina stepped out of the car, she was older, taller. “You got it working!” Gabe watched as Cas walked up to them. “You two and that car.” Cas said, shaking his head, then putting his arm around Dean's waist and pecking him on the lips. “I've got dinner ready and Sam called, he's in Wyoming.”

“Is he gonna make it back for the play?” Lina said.

“He wasn't sure, but he's going to try.”

They chatted for another couple of minutes, until they were interrupted by a little voice, “Poppy, come on! You said it was time for dinner!”

Gabe leaned back in his chair, took another drink, and smiled.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering about that last bit, reference chapter 7. ;)
> 
> Yes, it is also finally a series!  
> If you have any side story requests for fics you would like to see within this universe? Hit me up with anything (and yes I'm taking NSFW requests too, so don't be shy).  
> If you'd like to make a request anonymously, feel free to visit my tumblr here: [lacklusterpuddlesplash](http://lacklusterpuddlesplash.tumblr.com/) and drop me a note under Ask Me Anything.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, if there was ever an award for taking the longest fucking time to update, pretty sure I at least placed in the top three. I'm not going to give you a list of excuses, instead I will just say that I am going to finish this and that there will be another chapter posted shortly (along with another little Sabriel side piece for those who care). Also, I am so SO sorry for the delay!
> 
> As always:  
> Mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are welcome.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Dean settled into the idea of pregnancy a lot faster this time around, which was good since things were, as expected, a lot more complicated. He decided early on that he wanted to work for as long as possible, which was a point of contention with Cas and bred more than a few fights, before Cas finally dropped the subject—at least as far as Dean knew. He understood that Cas worried about his safety, but the last thing he wanted was to be stuck at home for the _entire_ pregnancy. He loved his job, it was a distraction, he felt normal under the hood of a car and he didn't want to give that up just yet.

The plan had originally been to keep going like things were normal, passing off the emotional outbursts and occasional bouts of vomiting as a medication side effect (Sam's idea). However, the plan changed at the end of one day when Dean was getting ready to leave work and overheard a customer yelling at Janet in the main office area.

“There's no fucking reason for them to be ahead of me!”

“I'm sorry, sir, but I told you on the phone, we had to send for your part, so we're just finishing other orders while we wait for the part to get in. Now if you don't mind, we need to close.”

“Listen you stupid cunt!”

“Hey!” Dean barked, stepping into the room, “Language!”

“Mind your own fucking business!”

“Listen asshole...” Dean started to say, grabbing the mans shoulder. The man swung around and caught him in the stomach with his elbow. Dean didn't have a chance to react, all he heard was Janet gasp as the man was sent flying across the room. Cas lifted the terrified man by his collar, pushed the front door open and practically threw him into the parking lot. “What the fuck are you doing here?!” Dean half yelled. Cas didn't answer as he hurried over to him, trying to lift his shirt and check for injuries. Dean shoved his hands away and Cas gave him an irritated look. “Dean, I know that you want to keep working, but I'm hardly going to leave you unprotected.”

“So you think I couldn't have handled some half drunk asshole?!”

“You're pregnant, I'm not going to let you fight!”

“That's not the...!”

“What the hell is going on?!”

Dean stopped mid sentence, as Jack walked in behind them. “He's a demon!” Janet said, shakily holding a silver flask toward Cas. Jack dropped the grocery bags in his hands and pulled a matching flask out of his jacket.

“What?! No! Woah. Woah." Dean said, raising his hands, "He's not a demon!”

“Then what the hell is he?!” Janet said, still not lowering the flask.

Jack and Janet had known about the existence of monsters and hunters for years, ever since Jack's brother had nearly lost his life (and was left paralyzed from the waist down) after six months of being possessed by a demon, which was how the family originally met Bobby. They knew that Sam and Dean were hunters and were even listed as a safe house by the Hunting Network. _So, of course,_ Dean thought, _man appears out of nowhere with remarkable strength. Demon._

“I'm an angel.” Cas said flatly.

“Cas, shut up!” Dean hissed.

Janet paused “Wait... _Cas_? As in, your boyfriend Cas?”

Dean nodded. She lowered the flask halfway, still eyeing him suspiciously. “So what are you exactly?”

“An angel.” Cas said again. Jack huffed a laugh, “Yeah, right.”

“Prove it.” Janet said.

Cas looked at Dean, who nodded, then he planted his feet, light spilling from his eyes and body, exposing the shadow of his wings opened only partly in the small room. It was a long time before Jack and Janet both stopped staring at him and repeating 'oh my god' in hushed voices. “Wow.” Jack said, circling him, “I mean, we'd heard this and that from Bobby, but... an angel.” He chuckled, “A real no shittin angel!”

“And he's your boyfriend?” Janet added.

“It's a long story.” Dean said, with a smirk, “But yeah.”

“Hold on... wait. So what are _you_?” Dean gave her a questioning look. “I mean cause he said you were pregnant, but that's not...?”

Dean shot Cas a death glare that could have melted steel. What followed was one of the weirdest and most awkward conversations that Dean could ever remember having, but for once in a pathetic track record it turned into a good thing. After the information settled in (with the help of a few very long conversations with Bobby) the Washington's were surprisingly supportive. Dean sometimes wondered if it was more out of curiosity than anything else, but they were willing to work with him and weren't trying to kill him, so he wasn't going to push the subject.

Having his bosses privy to his situation ended up being important, since on top of everything else Dean started showing earlier than he had with Lina and had to leave work just before the start of his fifth month.

* * *

Before leaving work things at home were rough. Dean had to put most of his energy into his job, so whenever he was home he slept a lot, threw up a lot, yelled a lot, and cried more than any grown person ever should. In an attempt to keep his moods from effecting Lina, Cas (and Sam when he was around) ended up taking the brunt of things. He found himself in an almost daily routine of falling apart or flying off the handle, feeling bad about it and then falling apart again because he felt bad. Lina just knew that Daddy didn't feel good and it made him cranky, she suggested he start taking naps.

Lina was slowly adjusting to the notion of having a sibling, helped along when Dean started showing. She asked more questions, worried if the baby had any light or enough to eat. One time she put her ear up to Dean's belly, then looked up and asked very seriously when the baby was going to start talking. She also liked to say goodbye and goodnight to the baby whenever she said it to Dean. So when they put her to bed, she would hug him gently around the waist and when they dropped her off at school she would tell the baby, “I'll be back later, I promise.” Dean was glad she finally seemed a little more excited.

Things were easier for Dean after he left work, at least energy wise. However, Cas wasn't any more relaxed, he still worried and hovered, driving Dean crazy, refusing to leave his side unless absolutely necessary. Though there was something else too, Cas had become incredibly affectionate. He tended to Dean with the utmost gentleness and caring, even the way he looked at him had become warmer and more loving. He constantly showered him with kisses, rubbed his back or feet whenever they sat on the couch together, and would sometimes stop in the middle of whatever he was doing and stare at him with a distant blissful expression. It didn't really bother Dean, it just surprised him. Sam said it reminded him of how things were when Dean was pregnant with Lina, he just didn't think either of them recognized it at the time. More specifically he said that both of them were so busy being giant fucking morons pretending not to care about each other that they missed everything the other was doing. Dean couldn't really argue. 

* * *

Thanks to some unknown finagling by Gabriel (one look at the Archangels sly grin and no one really wanted to know the details) they didn't hear anything from Lina's school until Dean was already past the six month mark . Cas was picking her up when her teacher pulled him to the side. He mentally prepared himself to recite the story that they had worked out to explain everything, but it wasn't at all what he expected “I'm really sorry about this, but we had a little incident with Lina on the playground today.” She said, as she handed him an incident report form. “Listen, I know that things are probably really stressful right now with your partner gone...” Cas tilted his head,  _ Why does she think that Dean is gone? _ The only thing that Gabriel told them was that Dean absolutely needed to stay out of sight both at the school and in town, when they asked why, he said something about Dean already starting to look like a beached whale and then there was just a lot of profanity laced yelling. Cas glanced over the form, which made no mention of pregnancy, babies, or anything related. Apparently Gabriel had done an excellent job, since Lina wasn't exactly shy when it came to talking about the baby. After discussing everything with the teacher, he walked over to the little table where Lina was sitting, staring hard at her lap and scraping her thumbnail over her jeans. “Hey.” He said, patting her on the head, but she didn't look up. He squatted down and held up the incident report form, “Are you going to tell me what happened?”

“It wasn't my fault!” She said quickly.

“Lina.”

“Katy was being mean!”

“What did she do?” 

Lina bit her lip and looked away again, her voice dropping, “I wanted to go on the slide, but she wouldn't let me.” 

“So you kicked her in the stomach?!”

“She was being mean!”

“Li, you know better than that.” Cas stood up and extended a hand to her, “Come on, we'll talk about it at home.”

* * *

“She still pouting?” Dean asked, setting his car magazine on his lap and taking the bag of shaved coconut from Cas' hand, as he sat down next to him and sighed. “Yes, she said she's never going to talk to either of us ever again.” 

“Well, that's one way to make the house quieter.” Dean said, smiling around a spoonful of coconut. Cas chuckled and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Very true. How's the coconut?” Dean groaned happily. Coconut was his latest craving, he wanted it on and in everything, though more often than not he would just eat it straight out of the bag. Cas had offered more than once to get it fresh, but Dean insisted that the bagged stuff tasted better. “What do you think Gabriel told the school?” Cas said, “Because they seem to be under the impression that you have gone somewhere.” 

“I dunno, but knowing him it'd probably piss us off.” 

“True.”

Dean still didn't like to admit that Gabriel had been helpful, at least when it came to Lina or the baby. He also appreciated the way that Gabriel watched out for Sam, it didn't make up for his personality, but it was a start. Sam insisted that he wasn't that bad and Dean wondered sometimes if he was a little hard on the Archangel. He was a good uncle and a good brother to Cas, so maybe he really was getting better. Dean paused a moment, chewing a mouthful of coconut, as he recalled that Gabriel had recently begun referring to him only as 'the walrus' whenever he came for check-ups. He frowned. _Forget it. I take it all back. He's still a dick._ In fact, the only highlight of Gabriel's visits was the way they were able to irritate the little shit by telling him they didn't care about knowing the gender of the baby. It might make for some serious payback later, but at that moment it was still funny as hell. 

Out of the corner of his eye Dean noticed the way that Cas was watching him with an expression that could only be called goofy. “You're being weird again.” Dean said, looking back at his magazine. Cas didn't respond, he just rested a hand on Dean's chest and tapped a finger, keeping time with his heartbeat. Then he leaned down and kissed his bump. Dean smacked him on the head with the magazine, “What the fuck is with you?” 

Cas smiled, leaning in to nuzzle his neck. “I love you.” He said softly, as he swept his thumb over Dean's jaw, guiding their lips together and kissing him slow and deep. Dean blushed and smiled, winding an arm around Cas' neck, letting him rest his head on his shoulder before taking another spoonful of coconut and returning to his magazine. “I love you too, ya big sap.” 

* * *

Staring up at the ceiling, Dean chewed on the inside of his cheek and contemplated his options. _Roll to either side? No. Get a grip on something for leverage? Nope. God this fucking sucks._ He heard footsteps outside the door and tried one more time to shift into a different position. “Dean?” Cas asked slowly, looking down at him and trying to mask his amusement.

“What?” Dean said, narrowing his eyes, daring him to say something.

“Are you stuck?”

“No!” He snapped, feeling his face heat up. Cas tilted his head, “Okay, then I guess I'll leave you alone.” He turned and started out the door. Dean huffed a breath and slammed his hand on the floor. “FINE! I'M STUCK! Now get back here, you son of a bitch!” Cas smirked and carefully helped him to his feet. “What were you doing on the floor anyway?” Dean could feel his face getting even warmer, he didn't want to say that he was just trying to get his own shoes on for once and couldn't figure out any other way to reach his feet. It was ridiculous. He looked ridiculous. He felt ridiculous. “Nothing.” He muttered, adjusting his shirt. Cas smiled in that frustratingly fond way, like he knew exactly what had happened. “Okay.” He said, pecking him on the cheek, “We should get going.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Dean wasn't sure if the last nine months had gone by really fast or really slow, either way he currently felt like an oversized balloon about to burst. He was too tired and uncomfortable to be alive and found himself thinking 'I'm too old for this shit' more and more as the due date approached. It didn't help anything that these last months of pregnancy had come with a lot of unforeseen adjustments. Like sleeping, for instance. Not only had sleep itself become uncomfortable, but he was used to falling asleep and waking up wrapped up with Cas, so he'd been a little offended the morning that he woke up to find Cas meditating on a chair next to the bed. However, when he asked about it Cas shot him an icy glare, “You pushed me off the bed and when I tried to lay down again, you kicked me.” They tried a few different things, but even though neither of them was happy about it, the chair stayed. 

There was also the cabin fever. He thought he'd gone stir crazy when he was pregnant with Lina, but that was nothing compared to this. Gabriel's orders meant that he wasn't allowed to leave the bunker at all, not even for errands. Sam, Bobby, and Jody had taken steps to try and keep him occupied, calling for blatantly unnecessary help with research, car questions, or just about anything else they could think of. Even Deborah stopped in whenever she could to try to break up the boredom. When Dean had reached his breaking point he insisted they take a walk. After that it became a several times a week occurrence. Walking wasn't as good as his job, but at least it wasn't the same fucking walls and ceiling. Usually Sam came along, but he was gone on a hunt (or 'business' as they called it in front of Lina), so it was just the three of them on this particular evening. Lina was rocking back and forth on her heels by the front door and grinned when she saw them coming. Cas grabbed Dean's arm and they appeared at the top of the stairs. He was way passed being embarrassed about needing the help, in fact if he never had to see another set of motherfucking stairs in his life he would be perfectly content.

The forest around the bunker was active, loud with the sounds of cicadas, birds, and assorted woodland creatures. It was hot and humid out, but late enough in the evening to not be too miserable. Dean was just indescribably glad to be outside. He grabbed Cas' hand and linked their fingers together, as Lina darted down the path ahead of them. “Don't go too far.” Cas said. She turned around and waved. “I won't!” She called, already scanning the trees, looking for the perfect one to climb. They rounded a corner and lost sight of her. “Lina?” Cas called. There was a rustling and she appeared through some leaves over their heads, hanging upside down from a tree limb. “I'm here!”

“Okay, be careful please.” 

She dropped from the tree and started looking for another one. “Like living with a monkey.” Dean said, as she spotted another prime climbing opportunity and quickly disappeared again.

“Yes, she does seem to be taking after you.”

Dean laughed and bumped Cas' shoulder, “Oh-ho, thanks.”

The sun was setting as they walked back, casting a pink glow over the forest as the fireflies began their evening rituals. They stopped for a break at the usual spot so that Lina could climb her favorite tree. It was a particularly tall Oak that let her see out over the other trees. Dean watched as she nimbly scaled as close to the top as she could get, she always looked so peaceful when she was up high. Cas was busy watching their surroundings, wary as ever.

At home Cas got Lina through a bath and changed for bed, while Dean took a shower. Lina, now clad in her favorite Captain America pajamas—and yes the Batman versus Captain America argument is still ongoing—raced to the den, snatched a book off the shelf, and dove into her spot on the couch. “Did you find our place?” Cas asked, as he sat next to her. “Yeah.” She said, then carefully sounded out a few of the words from where they had stopped the night before. Dean came in after a couple of minutes and settled in his chair. Most of the time he pretended to be irritated when Cas read, but he actually liked listening too. It wasn't so much the stories as Cas' voice, that gravely timbre. He leaned back in the chair and let his eyes close.

* * *

Less than a week after that peaceful evening the newest member of the family arrived and in true Winchester fashion, it was absolutely crazy. The whole thing started in the middle of the night when Dean collapsed on his way back from the bathroom. Gabriel checked him out and said he was fine. The next day he felt sick to his stomach and a little more exhausted than normal, but other than that everything seemed okay. There was still about a month until his due date, so no one was alarmed, which of course meant that no one was prepared.

Lina was at school, Sam was on a job, Dean was napping, and Cas was in the kitchen making soup that Dean had requested. He was studying the list of changes he had jotted down next to the actual recipe when he felt something wash over him, like a wave of energy. He staggered backwards before he heard Dean yelling from the other room.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Dean was sitting up, red faced, breathing hard, and clutching the blanket. “Cas, what the fuck?! There was pain and a flash and...” He trailed off, gritting his teeth, before his eyes widened, “OH MY GOD, I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO PUSH!”

A wild flurry of activity and a lot of screaming welcomed Adira Madison into the world, she was tiny and bald, with striking gray eyes. Cas picked out the first name, so Dean wasn't surprised that it was a little different. He said he liked it because it was Arabic, like Lina, and meant strong. The middle was just a name they both liked. 

Sitting up on the bed, leaning heavily against a pile of pillows, Dean watched the commotion surrounding the little bundle wrapped up in plaid. Cas held Adira, while everyone crowded around, all fawning over her in hushed voices. Even Deborah had stopped in and was watching her cautiously, looking almost nervous. Behind the group there was a big white rabbit leaning against the wall, a gift from Garth—along with another book of jokes. Sam reached and gently lifted Adira into his arms, claiming it was his turn as her only human uncle (an argument met by a chorus of groans). Dean smiled, watching as he beamed down at his new niece, with that big happy puppy face that Dean used to think had been lost to the darkness of their lives. Who would have thought that two boys who had grown up feeling so utterly alone would end up with such a big family.

Dean adjusted and grimaced, trying to get comfortable, before he felt Cas' hand on his shoulder. “You should rest.” He said softly, furrowing his brow as he pushed at the stack of pillows and tugged at the blankets. “Thanks mom.” Dean said, rolling his eyes, then wincing again. “Alright everyone, Dean needs to rest.” Cas said, ignoring him. He took Adira (who had just been passed to Jody) and started shooing everyone out the door. After settling her in the bassinet (the one that Bobby had carved for Lina), he set to work arranging baby clothes and diapers. It was strange to think that this was the very same Angel of the Lord that had burst into that barn so long ago, powerful, frightening, but willing to give it all up for a family and a pathetically normal life. _This idiot... I should really mar..._ His brain froze halfway through the word, it wasn't like this was the first time he had thought about it, but... _No. I'm just tired. Yeah. Tired._ He watched Cas sit on the chair, adjusting so he could see both of them easily, tuck his legs under him and flip open his book. The motion was so easy, so familiar, it made Dean smile again. _Oh shit._ Dean thought, squeezing his eyes closed. He pushed his face into one of the pillows and tried not to curse out loud as the chorus of “Single Ladies” played on repeat in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side Note 1: Adira as I have written it, is pronounced like uh-dEEr-uh, in case anyone was curious. 
> 
> Side Note 2: This is my e-mail:
> 
> hushmyshowison@gmail.com
> 
> Feel absolutely free to drop me notes, requests, anything through e-mail.


End file.
